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Old 05-25-2012, 08:09 PM
 
1 posts, read 2,097 times
Reputation: 10

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I just moved into a small private school with about 100 kids. I met this girl about 4 months ago and we were great friends. We would talk and laugh all the time, go out for ice cream etc. But after about 2 months she would start talking to me less, and seemed almost annoyed when I spoke with her. Eventually she completely stopped talking to me and wouldn't acknowledge me at all. I did not do anything to make her not like me, it just seemed like we slowly drifted away. So after about a month she sends me a text saying that shes been thinking about me and misses me and that she would tell me why shes been distant in person.

She never did tell me why she stopped talking to me. It was a little awkward talking again but eventually we ended up being just like we were when we first met, if not closer. Everyday we would talk and laugh in class and at lunch, but we haven't seen each other outside of school at all. These past two weeks I feel like were drifting apart again.

During class she would say stuff that are ment to be jokes but i feel that theres some truth to them. She would say that everyones tired of me but were all stuck with you, she would tell me to shutup etc. I think she is half joking half wanting me to leave her alone. during lunch I ask if she wants to hang out and she says shes doing homework or something, but I just see her with her friends. She doesn't respond to my texts, and she never asks to hang out. I feel like I am the only one who wants to hangout or be together, and it feels like I am just a bother for her. I really do enjoy spending time with her and I dont want that to end.

Last night she texted me and apologized for the mean things she said to me and said she was gonna write me a letter saying how sorry she is. She said that she has been feeling unhappy and depressed lately, and that since im the closest one to her she took it out on me. I told her it was ok and that the best part of my day is just talking to you. I told her how i felt about us drifting apart and that i feel she doesnt want to spend time with me, and she said that she felt the exact same way about me and that the reason she wouldnt hang out is that she felt that i wanted my space, which is not true. I wish i could be with her 24/7 and i feel incomplete when im not with her.

The next day at school she does the same thing. She doesnt talk to me at class, says shes too busy to hangout at lunch but shes actually just with her friends. It seemed like she didnt want to talk about what we said yesterday. I feel like she didnt mean the stuff she said, and that she really doesnt want to spend time with me and that she just said that so my feelings would not get hurt. Am I wrong for thinking this way? Do you think that eventually she will want to talk more or is this the end?

I feel like she only wants to talk to me when she doesnt have anyone else to talk to, which is most of the day. But once one of her friends are available she ignores me and hangs out with them. I dont want to be just the person she talks to when shes bored and has no one else to talk to.

I think its important for you to know that I do like her as more than a friend. I have no idea if the feeling is mutal, we never kissed or fooled around or anything, but I feel like she does enjoy my company and laughs at my jokes and is always smiling when i'm around. I want to have a relationship with her, but I feel that both of us are too scared to make a move. My school is very small, and she is my only real friend, and risking that by making a move scares the hell outta me because I would be lost without her. By what I have said do you feel she likes me as more than a friend as well? And should I make a move?
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Old 05-25-2012, 09:26 PM
 
936 posts, read 2,061,308 times
Reputation: 2253
Quote:
Originally Posted by salvadorboy13 View Post
I just moved into a small private school with about 100 kids. I met this girl about 4 months ago and we were great friends. We would talk and laugh all the time, go out for ice cream etc. But after about 2 months she would start talking to me less, and seemed almost annoyed when I spoke with her. Eventually she completely stopped talking to me and wouldn't acknowledge me at all. I did not do anything to make her not like me, it just seemed like we slowly drifted away. So after about a month she sends me a text saying that shes been thinking about me and misses me and that she would tell me why shes been distant in person.

She never did tell me why she stopped talking to me. It was a little awkward talking again but eventually we ended up being just like we were when we first met, if not closer. Everyday we would talk and laugh in class and at lunch, but we haven't seen each other outside of school at all. These past two weeks I feel like were drifting apart again.

During class she would say stuff that are ment to be jokes but i feel that theres some truth to them. She would say that everyones tired of me but were all stuck with you, she would tell me to shutup etc. I think she is half joking half wanting me to leave her alone. during lunch I ask if she wants to hang out and she says shes doing homework or something, but I just see her with her friends. She doesn't respond to my texts, and she never asks to hang out. I feel like I am the only one who wants to hangout or be together, and it feels like I am just a bother for her. I really do enjoy spending time with her and I dont want that to end.

Last night she texted me and apologized for the mean things she said to me and said she was gonna write me a letter saying how sorry she is. She said that she has been feeling unhappy and depressed lately, and that since im the closest one to her she took it out on me. I told her it was ok and that the best part of my day is just talking to you. I told her how i felt about us drifting apart and that i feel she doesnt want to spend time with me, and she said that she felt the exact same way about me and that the reason she wouldnt hang out is that she felt that i wanted my space, which is not true. I wish i could be with her 24/7 and i feel incomplete when im not with her.

The next day at school she does the same thing. She doesnt talk to me at class, says shes too busy to hangout at lunch but shes actually just with her friends. It seemed like she didnt want to talk about what we said yesterday. I feel like she didnt mean the stuff she said, and that she really doesnt want to spend time with me and that she just said that so my feelings would not get hurt. Am I wrong for thinking this way? Do you think that eventually she will want to talk more or is this the end?

I feel like she only wants to talk to me when she doesnt have anyone else to talk to, which is most of the day. But once one of her friends are available she ignores me and hangs out with them. I dont want to be just the person she talks to when shes bored and has no one else to talk to.

I think its important for you to know that I do like her as more than a friend. I have no idea if the feeling is mutal, we never kissed or fooled around or anything, but I feel like she does enjoy my company and laughs at my jokes and is always smiling when i'm around. I want to have a relationship with her, but I feel that both of us are too scared to make a move. My school is very small, and she is my only real friend, and risking that by making a move scares the hell outta me because I would be lost without her. By what I have said do you feel she likes me as more than a friend as well? And should I make a move?
Words often lie; actions rarely do. Based on her actions as you've reported them, she's not scared. She doesn't actually like you, and she clearly doesn't respect you much. She likes the ego boost your attention gives her when her friends aren't around.

She's not into you. And if she's only your friend when there's no one else to talk to, then she's not your friend.

You're obviously young, and it really sucks having a crush on someone who doesn't return the feeling. But a one-way friendship, especially one you keep up in hopes that it will someday become something romantic, sucks more. Spare yourself the pain and embarrassment, and walk away.
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Old 05-26-2012, 05:40 AM
 
Location: Morrisville, NC
9,145 posts, read 14,766,326 times
Reputation: 9073
Is it possible it is a clique/mean girls situation? You're new and not yet on the cool list with her other freinds, but she likes you? Man, high school can suck sometimes.
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Old 05-26-2012, 05:42 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,365,577 times
Reputation: 73932
She's an unstable psycho B and I don't know why you waste one more second with her.

Friends don't treat you like crap. Even when they are having a bad day/week/month/year.
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Old 05-26-2012, 06:49 AM
 
817 posts, read 853,249 times
Reputation: 203
Quote:
Originally Posted by RockJock1729 View Post
Words often lie; actions rarely do. Based on her actions as you've reported them, she's not scared. She doesn't actually like you, and she clearly doesn't respect you much. She likes the ego boost your attention gives her when her friends aren't around.

She's not into you. And if she's only your friend when there's no one else to talk to, then she's not your friend.

You're obviously young, and it really sucks having a crush on someone who doesn't return the feeling. But a one-way friendship, especially one you keep up in hopes that it will someday become something romantic, sucks more. Spare yourself the pain and embarrassment, and walk away.
Perfectly said.
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Old 05-26-2012, 08:26 AM
 
1,133 posts, read 2,283,547 times
Reputation: 1247
You're only a friend to her. She's keeping you around for the company, support and validation.
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Old 05-26-2012, 08:54 AM
 
5,472 posts, read 7,604,665 times
Reputation: 5793
girls keep friends and lovers seperate. Next time, try to be direct with your intentions. If I were you, I would drag her aside, whether hse likes it or not and have an honest conversation. Tell her youre attracted to her and want to be more than friends. If she doesnt want the same thing, forget about her and find another girl.
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Old 05-26-2012, 09:27 AM
 
769 posts, read 1,013,492 times
Reputation: 473
When people say they want their "space", i say give to them, but it seems like she is jerking you around. Typical high school stuff. She is not interested in you if she runs away whenever any friend shows up.
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Old 05-26-2012, 11:13 AM
 
2,495 posts, read 4,358,314 times
Reputation: 4935
Quote:
Originally Posted by RockJock1729 View Post
Words often lie; actions rarely do. Based on her actions as you've reported them, she's not scared. She doesn't actually like you, and she clearly doesn't respect you much. She likes the ego boost your attention gives her when her friends aren't around.

She's not into you. And if she's only your friend when there's no one else to talk to, then she's not your friend.

You're obviously young, and it really sucks having a crush on someone who doesn't return the feeling. But a one-way friendship, especially one you keep up in hopes that it will someday become something romantic, sucks more. Spare yourself the pain and embarrassment, and walk away.
rep'd
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