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I honestly don't know how any kind of help or counseling will be available to her. A boy in her class was harassing my girlfriend and trying grope her right in front of the teacher; and the teacher's only response to my girlfriend's complaint was that "it isn't my problem". It then took 5 attempts to bring it up with the counseling office and an email to the school board before anything at all was done.
She at one point had a counselor with a center for troubled youth that her parents set up because they wanted the center to "fix her so we don't have to deal with her problems" (I quote their words exactly from a conversation they had to me explaining why my girlfriend was such a burden to them). She no longer gets to see that counselor because the parent's cancelled all the appointments due to the counselor "filling her head with bull****" (again quoting her parents per batum). Her family is convinced that she is going to fail and remind her regularly all the problems they supposedly have in their life because of her. Perhaps now you can see a bit of why she feels the need to be saved, and why I want to get her out of that horrendous excuse of a "home".
I honestly don't know how any kind of help or counseling will be available to her. A boy in her class was harassing my girlfriend and trying grope her right in front of the teacher; and the teacher's only response to my girlfriend's complaint was that "it isn't my problem". It then took 5 attempts to bring it up with the counseling office and an email to the school board before anything at all was done.
She at one point had a counselor with a center for troubled youth that her parents set up because they wanted the center to "fix her so we don't have to deal with her problems" (I quote their words exactly from a conversation they had to me explaining why my girlfriend was such a burden to them). She no longer gets to see that counselor because the parent's cancelled all the appointments due to the counselor "filling her head with bull****" (again quoting her parents per batum). Her family is convinced that she is going to fail and remind her regularly all the problems they supposedly have in their life because of her. Perhaps now you can see a bit of why she feels the need to be saved, and why I want to get her out of that horrendous excuse of a "home".
I come from a messed up home though not abusive. Listen to this key point of advice: your girl may be very self-sufficient and mature in that sense. However, in emotional maturity, she probably lags far behind. Children from messed up homes need to spend their twenties parenting themselves and moving on from their childhood. My point: becoming a mother would be a horrendous idea. Motherhood forces you to face the hurts of your childhood, and for some strange reason, people tend to repeat the mistakes of their parents. That is why it is imperative for mothers to get their emotional baggage handled and stowed away before having kids. Your girlfriend is going to need a decade away from that mess with constant therapy before she even thinks of bringing a child into her life.
She has the idea in her head. You say she's mature enough to accept your decision to have no child. I BEG you to not believe her. Wear a condom. Make sure she's on birth control. Take every precaution necessary to prevent a child coming forth into this mess.
I would petition the court for a guardian ad litem. See if they could get her the help she needs. Does she not have any relatives that would take her in?
First, I don't believe any of this. Call me jaded but whatever.
Second, playing along, you aren't in love with this girl but it makes you feel good to be a "rescuer".
Third, she is messed up and you can't rescue her...but you don't realize it because you aren't experienced enough.
Even thinking about having a baby shows some mental lacking on your part now matter how well edited your posts are. Bringing me back to I don't believe any of this.
I couldn't agree with you more.
I don't believe one word of this. Someone is playing us like a fool.
I honestly don't know how any kind of help or counseling will be available to her.
Then keep trying. You are so insistent that you want to help her, but you're going to give up trying to do what's best for her because it didn't work in the past?
Her school should have a psychologist. Keep trying CPS. Research private counselors (most don't take insurance, so you can pay them yourself and take her there to make sure she goes).
It's not easy--but neither is marriage or parenthood. If you're willing to give up on getting her the help she so desperately needs, and would rather turn to impregnating her, then you aren't nearly the supportive boyfriend you claim to be.
It's not easy--but neither is marriage or parenthood. If you're willing to give up on getting her the help she so desperately needs, and would rather turn to impregnating her, then you aren't nearly the supportive boyfriend you claim to be.
No, in fact you are kind of victimizing her. There is a reason 16 year old girls should not date adult men.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,742,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman
It's only a 3 year difference. My Nana was 16 when she started dating my Grandpa (who was 19) then they got married two years later.
Does the word "duress" mean anything to you? That is what the 16 year old is facing. Not right for them to marry with the current situation.
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