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05-27-2012, 06:13 AM
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1 posts, read 1,154 times
Reputation: 10
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Hi
Here is the story.My buddy lives in england and his girlfriend is in holland.They have not seen each other for about 5 years.The reason was that she couldnot come to visit him because she was affraid of his temper and wasnot sure if he wanted to marry her.But in the mean time she befriended another guy in holland.She kept on saying that the guy (in hollad) helps her everytime she needs someone like transportation(he has got a car),shopping and they go to church together.
She suddenly becomes defensive of that person when confronted about him.She calls my buddy every day around 23.30 or 0.30 in hollad for 10 sec just to let him know that she is going to bed.After 5 years of not seeing each other,she suddenly resolved to come over to england and spend 3 weeks with my buddy.
Now,with humility, would you advice my buddy to carry on with this women or move on.The thing is that he has not caught her cheating but the signs are speaking for themselves.What to do?Please your advices will help him a great deal.
Thank you
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05-27-2012, 07:03 AM
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1,882 posts, read 4,483,419 times
Reputation: 2680
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Move on. 5 yrs? Think about it
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05-27-2012, 07:28 AM
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Location: Reno, NV
5,953 posts, read 10,050,817 times
Reputation: 10603
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Indeed, after 5 years of a virtual g/f, it's time to move on. And if he does have problems with his temper, he should get help with that before seeking another relationship. This whole current scenario sounds completely bizarre and dysfunctional to me, from both sides.
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05-27-2012, 07:31 AM
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Location: New Hampshire
4,854 posts, read 5,473,748 times
Reputation: 3749
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No relationship can survive after 5 years of not seeing each other.
The point of being in a relationship is BEING with the other person. Sometimes that might not happen for long periods of time (deployments etc) but FIVE years? Yeah, that is pushing it.
Move.On.
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05-27-2012, 08:36 AM
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3,092 posts, read 4,720,102 times
Reputation: 3724
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bonbonchoco
Hi
Here is the story.My buddy lives in england and his girlfriend is in holland.They have not seen each other for about 5 years.The reason was that she couldnot come to visit him because she was affraid of his temper and wasnot sure if he wanted to marry her.But in the mean time she befriended another guy in holland.She kept on saying that the guy (in hollad) helps her everytime she needs someone like transportation(he has got a car),shopping and they go to church together.
She suddenly becomes defensive of that person when confronted about him.She calls my buddy every day around 23.30 or 0.30 in hollad for 10 sec just to let him know that she is going to bed.After 5 years of not seeing each other,she suddenly resolved to come over to england and spend 3 weeks with my buddy.
Now,with humility, would you advice my buddy to carry on with this women or move on.The thing is that he has not caught her cheating but the signs are speaking for themselves.What to do?Please your advices will help him a great deal.
Thank you
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I dont consider not seeing someone in 5 years a real relationship...but if she carrying on with another dude, then she should end the relationship with your friend..(end what??) |
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05-27-2012, 08:43 AM
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Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,924 posts, read 56,374,381 times
Reputation: 98359
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bonbonchoco
.The reason was that she couldnot come to visit him because she was affraid of his temper
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I stopped reading here.
She's not cheating. She's living her life.
They should no longer pretend that they are dating. |
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05-27-2012, 08:55 AM
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734 posts, read 1,627,846 times
Reputation: 881
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bonbonchoco
Hi
Here is the story.My buddy lives in england and his girlfriend is in holland.They have not seen each other for about 5 years.
Thank you
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I stopped reading right here. Are we ignoring the big picture now? They haven't seen each other for 5 years... that isn't much of a relationship. |
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05-27-2012, 09:03 AM
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22,107 posts, read 20,174,448 times
Reputation: 53241
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Does the OP not find it weird that she hasn't seen the guy in five years because she is afraid of him? On what planet can this ever be called a "relationship"? Sounds like the guy is deluded. And the OP too.
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05-27-2012, 09:28 AM
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12,572 posts, read 15,061,640 times
Reputation: 8957
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I agree with the other posters, but I had to keep reading, then I put too much thought into it:
The 10 second nightly phone calls: 
The fact the BF didn't go to Holland and visit. 
The fact she could swim to England. 
This sounds as a 'relationship' constructed solely for appearances.  |
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05-27-2012, 10:30 AM
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Location: Somewhere out there...
3,663 posts, read 8,419,683 times
Reputation: 3744
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5 years is too long to wait to see anyone, I can barely make it 2 weeks. |
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