Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That's fair. I just don't think you should have to get to know someone before asking them out.
I've seen some advice like that given around here before, it always makes me laugh. While you're getting to know someone before you ask them out, someone else is gonna ask them out because you moved too slow. Then you can repeat the process and hope it doesn't happen again?
I ask them out because I want to get to know them. I don't understand these people that have a texting relationship before they have ever been on a date. From the time I ask them out to the day I pick them up/ meet them somewhere there is no communication.
I honestly go to clubs for live music and to have fun with friends...have good body language, don't be a creep, have fun doing your thing, be active, and girls will come to you wanting to dance; it's more about people seeing that you're having fun and wanting to "get in on that" for themselves. Be comfortable and find a good environment with lots of social people...I'm a musician, so I go to live music clubs as opposed to your typical hip hop type of place with a DJ playing crappy 90s rap. I'm basically there for the music and not anything else, and that's what ends up attracting people to me...by the time the late night DJ kicks on after the show, I already have somebody to hang out/dance with and get to avoid the awkward "standing around while a dude plays crappy music" trap that's been discussed.
But most women just want to have fun and flirt for attention; don't be an idiot and expect much more than that. Just communicate with people and interact; randomly go up to people and compliment them or ask them a question, you'll be surprised how many women will make it a point to come back and find you if you simply say something to them early-on. Have a brief conversation and they'll remember you later when they're out and about in crowds looking for somebody to dance with. As said before, it really is weird and quite lame if you're standing by yourself doing absolutely nothing. Sometimes it's ok to just relax and take-in the environment, but really...don't make it regular behavior and then complain that nobody ever approaches you or accepts your advances.
Another thing...guys are usually idiots and miss signs/hints that women will send. Eye contact, proximity/hovering, physically bumping into you repeatedly, touching your arm, flipping her hair at you, etc basically means "please interact with me now and stop ignoring me". Women will make the first move, but it'll often be subtle and more of a hint for the guy to follow with a bigger move.
Hold on, back up a bit.
Crappy 90s rap? I wonder what kind of rap you are listening to to be able to call 90s rap crappy. I wanna know. I want to hear that stuff too.
For all I know, you probably don't even listen to rap all that much. I don't either, especially to the rap they play today. And yes, 90s had some crappy rap songs too, not every artist was good.
But yeah, I like your idea of going to a live music area. Night clubs aren't my thing anymore. It was what it was when I went, but I just found that my chances were better outside the club environment.
Yeah, women do send hints. Then some women are blatant and in your face about it.
Being able to read body language is very important.
Crappy 90s rap? I wonder what kind of rap you are listening to to be able to call 90s rap crappy. I wanna know. I want to hear that stuff too.
For all I know, you probably don't even listen to rap all that much. I don't either, especially to the rap they play today. And yes, 90s had some crappy rap songs too, not every artist was good.
But yeah, I like your idea of going to a live music area. Night clubs aren't my thing anymore. It was what it was when I went, but I just found that my chances were better outside the club environment.
Yeah, women do send hints. Then some women are blatant and in your face about it.
Being able to read body language is very important.
I'm talking about the whole disconnect between audience/dj/music...in a club targeting age 21-30 demographics, most of those people would have been like what, between being born and junior high age while those songs were actually popular/relevant? Just saying...20-somethings populate the club world and it's pretty ridiculous to blast hours worth of DMX and Master P at them considering that they were like 3-10 years old when that was actually a thing. Good clubs need good music, which means current songs and a high variety to well...you know, attract a fun crowd that's actually with it and up to date. Most of the time you get a dj who's older than the crowd and kind of stuck in his own world as far as selection goes. It's just An amazing thing when.you really think about it.
But yeah...whenever somebody says "going to clubs sucks", they're definitely not going to the right place. Meeting people/approaching people is a lot more natural if you're actually somewhere that you can relate to and Youre being dropped into an environment where the entertainment is motivating you to get out there and have some fun. The easiest way to not be a wallflower standing around staring creepily is to find out what type of place you fit into.
And yeah...some people have no shame when it comes to targeting somebody. I've had some genuinely over the top stuff thrown at me just for pretty much breathing and existing; I'm sure that I've made a litany of "what the hell is happening here" faces over the years. Body language and putting off the right impression of "I'm having fun and just doing my thing like usual" is an insanely powerful motivator. It's like there's a huge bullseye painted on my back most of the time because I'm literally not up to anything.
Last edited by TelecasterBlues; 07-28-2017 at 06:34 PM..
I honestly go to clubs for live music and to have fun with friends...have good body language, don't be a creep, have fun doing your thing, be active, and girls will come to you wanting to dance; it's more about people seeing that you're having fun and wanting to "get in on that" for themselves. Be comfortable and find a good environment with lots of social people...I'm a musician, so I go to live music clubs as opposed to your typical hip hop type of place with a DJ playing crappy 90s rap. I'm basically there for the music and not anything else, and that's what ends up attracting people to me...by the time the late night DJ kicks on after the show, I already have somebody to hang out/dance with and get to avoid the awkward "standing around while a dude plays crappy music" trap that's been discussed.
But most women just want to have fun and flirt for attention; don't be an idiot and expect much more than that. Just communicate with people and interact; randomly go up to people and compliment them or ask them a question, you'll be surprised how many women will make it a point to come back and find you if you simply say something to them early-on. Have a brief conversation and they'll remember you later when they're out and about in crowds looking for somebody to dance with. As said before, it really is weird and quite lame if you're standing by yourself doing absolutely nothing. Sometimes it's ok to just relax and take-in the environment, but really...don't make it regular behavior and then complain that nobody ever approaches you or accepts your advances.
Another thing...guys are usually idiots and miss signs/hints that women will send. Eye contact, proximity/hovering, physically bumping into you repeatedly, touching your arm, flipping her hair at you, etc basically means "please interact with me now and stop ignoring me". Women will make the first move, but it'll often be subtle and more of a hint for the guy to follow with a bigger move.
Good observations. I've been clubbing since I turned 21 (actually a bit more, but the all ages places were fairly lame so I didn't go much). Doing that math, that means I've been clubbing for 33 years. Now the major caveat is for the past 20+ years clubbing has been with my wife, plus normally a group of friends. In any case, I am not shy about dancing solo ... I love to dance and have loved to dance as long as I can remember. I see what's going on out there. I have even, in spite of glaringly displayed wedding band and being seen with DW in the club, been approached on more than one occasion. Talk about being in the spotlight ... I must behave myself under such circumstances. Were I to ever be clubbing solo again I would not change a single thing I am doing, other than my response to said approaches.
Seems like a few would stand out. And her saying cute is chopped liver, and you saying cute is wife material doesn't really point to the same thing. Do you even agree with her?
Good grief, what a silly argument! Back when this thread was started, and the following year or so, this sub-forum was flooded with trolls--mostly young guys with anger issues, but not all of the ones who stated they preferred "hot" women were young. There was even a thread that polled the guys on which they preferred: hot or cute. At the time, the predominant sentiment was, "If I wanted "cute", I'd get a puppy".
But that was then, and this is now. Different crowd, I gather. I guess you missed all the excitement. Lucky you!
Guys are a lot more shy than you think. I agree with the poster who said the woman has to initiate with a smile or a friendly glance. Give us a sign....
Guys are a lot more shy than you think. I agree with the poster who said the woman has to initiate with a smile or a friendly glance. Give us a sign....
It's the guys that aren't shy and have super confidence that clean up.
Men don't like being rejected or left looking or feeling a fool. Women hate it too which is why most leave it to men.
The real question is how do they put up with the godawful racket in those places? There doesn't seem much point in trying to strike up a conversation with someone if you can't hear a word they're saying.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I wonder what kind of rap you are listening to to be able to call 90s rap crappy. I wanna know. I want to hear that stuff too. 
Lucky you!
