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I don't really go to clubs anymore, but when I use to frequent them I noticed men dancing by themselves and having a good time are sort of seen as otherworldly entities. The looks on some people's faces were priceless. This was a consistent thing too. My point is that the club standard for men is pretty set in stone. As such, approaching someone to dance right out of the blue is usually seen as a douche move, the guy being aggressive/confident/cocky, or the guy being drunk. It's an etiquette thing as much as a perception thing. And of course there is the possibility the men are just scared, or setting their expectations above and beyond just a dance. Of course this is just my general observation and might not apply to the masses at large. Likewise, I don't think this applies when you go on vacation to foreign countries in spots knwon to have tourists...
Lol, you do know that ladies have a b***h shield on right?
They know guys will approach them there.
There are starter guys who want to observe first, it is not for everyone. I don't see why a guy would go there to pick up a girl. It should be a relaxed place to dance, drink if you do and have fun. You can't really talk in there because of loud music. I have not been to a club since 1999.
The pretty girls who show lot of skin have attitudes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hatgirl007
I have noticed this quite a bit but I don't understand why this occurs. You will see guys rocking to the music with dozens of girls surrounding close to the dance floor (waiting) and guys will not ask them to dance. I don't understand why you would go to a club and stand around...........you can do that at home.
Some guys have all this anxiety. Perhaps it's a lack of confidence. So I experimented in this environment and had a ball. What did I do? I walked around, smiled, tapped a few guys on the shoulder and flirted/rocked to the beat of the music, and the majority were willing to dance to a few songs with me and I had a great time. I even tapped a few guys on the shoulder and asked why they weren't on the dance floor with their girl. Every now and then someone would say their girl wasn't with them, I let them know that she's (their girl) was lucky to have them. Some guys danced with me and had a good time and I told them goodnight with no numbers exchanged as they were involved.
My point. I had a ball because I was in a good mood, looked cute, and I didn't stand around waiting for opportunity but created my own.
Why do the majority of guys who go out dancing seem incapable of doing the same? Do guys set out to just sway to the music while standing next to their male friends? What is the problem?
I don't really go to clubs anymore, but when I use to frequent them I noticed men dancing by themselves and having a good time are sort of seen as otherworldly entities. The looks on some people's faces were priceless. This was a consistent thing too. My point is that the club standard for men is pretty set in stone. As such, approaching someone to dance right out of the blue is usually seen as a douche move, the guy being aggressive/confident/cocky, or the guy being drunk. It's an etiquette thing as much as a perception thing. And of course there is the possibility the men are just scared, or setting their expectations above and beyond just a dance. Of course this is just my general observation and might not apply to the masses at large. Likewise, I don't think this applies when you go on vacation to foreign countries in spots knwon to have tourists...
Let me get this straight. The guys go to a social venue, where they know there will be women there, women who want to meet guys, a place that's all about dancing, but the guys are convinced that it's an aggressive act to invite a woman to dance, i.e. to fulfill the purpose of his going there, of her going there, and of the owners of the establishment in creating the venue for people to dance, mix and mingle? You do realize that's the purpose of the club, right? And that's why people go there, to meet new people and have fun dancing. So why on earth would the guys think you're not supposed to ask a woman to dance at a dance venue full of single women???!!! He's not asking her to marry her, or to go home with her, he's just asking her for one dance.
Does this sound as crazy to you as it does to me? Women go to those places because they want to be invited to dance! Unless maybe they're with a crowd of girlfriends and maybe they're just there to listen to the music.
So ... did I read this right? They guys end up what?? dancing with each other?? What kind of a crazy thing is that?
Info guy: it's not so much about picking up a girl, it's about having an enjoyable evening. And if you meet someone you hit it off with, so much the better, but that's pretty much a one-in-a-hundred chance. If no one wants to dance or to talk to anyone else, why bother to go at all? Just to listen to the music?
Rejection, mostly. Most guys fear it. Now a days, you'll probably see 50/50 initiating from both men and women. Really, that's probably how it should be. A little further down the road, you'll see mostly women initiating, unless the guy isn't that terrified of asking a girl to dance.
To be honest, I think things will go a lot easier if women did all the initiating. They hold that power over us anyways. Why not just give all of it to them?
You have got to be kidding me. No wonder there are so many single good women out there. #smh in disgust!!!
I have noticed this quite a bit but I don't understand why this occurs. You will see guys rocking to the music with dozens of girls surrounding close to the dance floor (waiting) and guys will not ask them to dance. I don't understand why you would go to a club and stand around...........you can do that at home.
Some guys have all this anxiety. Perhaps it's a lack of confidence. So I experimented in this environment and had a ball. What did I do? I walked around, smiled, tapped a few guys on the shoulder and flirted/rocked to the beat of the music, and the majority were willing to dance to a few songs with me and I had a great time. I even tapped a few guys on the shoulder and asked why they weren't on the dance floor with their girl. Every now and then someone would say their girl wasn't with them, I let them know that she's (their girl) was lucky to have them. Some guys danced with me and had a good time and I told them goodnight with no numbers exchanged as they were involved.
My point. I had a ball because I was in a good mood, looked cute, and I didn't stand around waiting for opportunity but created my own.
Why do the majority of guys who go out dancing seem incapable of doing the same? Do guys set out to just sway to the music while standing next to their male friends? What is the problem?
For some it is a confidence issue (fear of rejection blah blah blah) other times, its a strategic move. Trust me on this!
I always thought a loud club/bar was a terrible place to actually meet and talk to someone. The times I went I would usually get drunk and end up dancing with other drunk people. I'm not a loud person and preferred somewhere quieter to have actual conversations.
Part of it was a fear of rejection, of course. If I thought every girl wanted to talk to me, I would have talked to more people, but it's still not a great place to talk.
You have got to be kidding me. No wonder there are so many single good women out there. #smh in disgust!!!
To me, it looks like they are very few and far between. Or they just don't give me the time of day. Either way I've been on a long hiatus from the rat race lol.
has anyone ever tried to have a convo in a club? Theres no way.....
Pfff...club amateur here When I learned sign language in HS, they laughed. They laughed...
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He's not asking her to marry her, or to go home with her, he's just asking her for one dance.
When I learned sign language in HS, they laughed. They laughed... 
