Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20
It's the opposite of my approach to finding the 'one.' My attitude is, if she doesn't like me if I was unemployed (I have a good reason to right now) - not considering other factors like motivation, I don't want her, even if she's really hot. I find the idea of trying to 'win over' a woman with money or popularity totally alien. I don't even WANT to be in a relationship with somebody like that. Maybe a few flings, but nothing serious.
I don't get why so many guys want a 'trophy wife' - well I do, to show off, and a hot bod, but if the relationship is so shallow and based on money why treat it as anything else but a semi-'professional' arrangement.
Who here is more like me?
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Trimac,
I can see this happening when both parties are young ( early 20’s) due to the reality that both parties are very young and are trying to get things going ( college and a job) hence the starving student..
I recall being this age once. A young woman attending college, doing both early day and night classes due to the fact that I was determined in paying for my education even though dad wanted too. I wanted to show him I could do it.
I worked 3 JOBS.. One at the local Y as a an after school counselor, one as a adapted physical education assistant ( Physical therapy) on site at the college and my third job? As a English 101 tutor from 10-11 am Monday through Friday. From this I paid my own car, insurance, my own clothes and expenses ect.
I met my ex husband in college, I was 21 he was 25. He was active duty but utilizing the GI bill and did not have much money but I knew he had a future and sometimes I offered to pay for a date if he did not have funds.
But he was not a BUM.
When we got married? He was active duty again and I stopped working after the birth of our son for 3 years until I started working again and seeking my bachelors with tenacity,
Now that I am 38? Have job security, make good money and am raising a child on my own? I have no time for a man that does not strive to be the best man he can be..
These are the expectations I have for myself so why in gods name should I lower my standards to accept anything less than I ask of myself?
Have a good job, be successful and have something to bring to the table?
I am not asking for a man to be a millionaire. I am simply asking him to match or exceed what I bring home.
My mother always told me “Love is great but not having money can break a marriage very easily” My father is the same, with the same mentality. He has always been a hard working man and has stated “Any man worth his own weight will always do whatever is called of him to provide for his family or he does not deserve them.” MY father does not come from money matter of fact he comes from an immigrant family that has always traveled many places following crops. He aspired to be more and has, he was the type of son that always worked even when he served In the viet war he sent money home because his mother my mama always worked in the fields and he felt no woman should ever have to work this hard.
He had a lot of respect for my papa’s work ethic and understood why he could not get another job ( his illegal status) but as a man himself he always strived to do whatever to get ahead and get that promotion. He never called my mother a gold digger for what she was useto, he knew she came from an affluent family. Knew and knows that mom does not need him because she could live off of her inheritance alone but felt that a woman does not need to work if she has a good man by her side.
And this comes from watching mama work all her life till she was too tired and soaking her feet and her fingers were bleeding.
There are some men that still believe in this and this has nothing to do with having the trophy wives it comes from the private pleasure a man gets from providing for his girl and kids knowing that he is doing for them.
As far as some men that are affluent and think they can get whatever woman they want and treat them how they want ( Objects) ? This is done for all the wrong reasons.
I recently posted about this man a little while ago on the foreign thread. \
Not only is this man an engineer but he also owns a separate company.
I dated this man for 5 months. He is filthy rich. I am sure by the way he is that all the girls he dated were barbies.
It was even too much for me!
Money was no object and this was ok. However driving me up to the door at a store because he thought it was too hot for me to walk a couple of extra feet? Shoving money in my hand when I wanted to buy a soda?
Treating wait staff like second hand citizens did not fly with me.
Making me sit in the car after he threw his keys to a sweaty kid whom was doing valet at the cheesecake factory? So this kid could open my door so I could get out of the corvette when he could have done this and it would have impressed me more? Ewww! It was awkward.
Not waiting in line at the viper room instead laughing as we walked past people in line whom had been there for about an hour and he showed the bouncer his vip pass and we walked right in? Again awkward/
Telling me that I needed to get over myself when I stated he was rude and his justification was “Get useto it baby, I am rich and so are you now.”
I dated him for 5 months..and by end of the 4th month he was audacious enough to state that he was not going to wait a year to marry me, I was the one he wanted! And after we got married he was not going to waste anytime in getting me pregnant.
We lived 3 hours apart and he stated he did not care about my son’s school he would pay for another private school and get him whatever he wanted and he would get over all his friends and so forth.
He stated I did not have to work, I could stay home and he would provide me with a nanny and I could get fit again and do whatever I wanted..
Alarms went off in my head since I am very family oriented..it seemed as if he was out to control every aspect of my life, keep me from working so I would be totally reliant on him and be there for him whenever…
He was very clingy and needy and just mean due to his money regarding the treatment of others and I could not be a part of this.. So I could see this type of affluent man.
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Men who try to win over women with money
