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I'll be honest. To him it may be a case of your not wife material. He can sleep with you but from a personal perspective he may not see you as some who he wants a long term relationship with.. You slept with him too soon and for the wrong reasons.. If you don't see it talk to a more mature woman with life experience who can spell it out to you...
Don't you think this is over simplified? (Spelling?) If the man is interested , he will be in touch. She is going to try to repair the friendship. Sometimes people don't know what they have until it's gone. Im sure he wants sex , maybe not getting it he could wise up. The op wants better thab friends with benefits and good for her. I wish you the best op.
It would be nice if that would happen. I mean, I remember when I would go out on dates with other people (nothing serious) he would get super jealous. I keep hoping, but I'm trying to be smart about this and not be a silly girl who is going to sit and wait and wait.
I'll be honest. To him it may be a case of your not wife material. He can sleep with you but from a personal perspective he may not see you as some who he wants a long term relationship with.. You slept with him too soon and for the wrong reasons.. If you don't see it talk to a more mature woman with life experience who can spell it out to you...
Before the sex, that's stuff that we talked about. We wanted the same things when it came to that. We ended up talking about what would happen if I got pregnant and he was relieved that I said I wouldn't abort. We talked about a lot of serious things, and we pretty much wanted the same things.
My take on it ... he's into you, just not THAT into you. You are a convenient lay for him. You are never going to get the kind of relationship you want with this guy. And after falling in love with him and going through all this, do you really think you can be "just friends" with him? I don't.
i wouldnt flake like a coward like he did, and give you a real answer. If he doesent want to be in a relationship dont sleep around. it is the chance you take when you get attached to someone. Attachment leads to expectations and expecatations lead to dissapointment.
Girl, why do you keep asking him what he want? On the valentine's day bail he's showing you his words doesn't match his actions (i.e. game) so he's not feeling you like that. Quit telling him you're in love and all that stuff.
If you want more from him other than a fwb -you need to move on. He enjoys you being into him and sleeping with him -that's it.
You need to stop being available for him to talk to all the time and get on with finding someone who feels the same way about you that you feel about them. He's not putting in any effort or work to get with you so you provide him with the stable lay while he shops for what he really wants.
I think it's interesting he said it was cruel of you to ask him if he wanted you to move on, if it was over. And then he said he didn't know. He would know if he wanted you around. So it means he's indifferent. It also means he's immature to not want to discuss where the two of you are at. If there were a meaningful relationship there, what mature people would do is talk about it, they would clarify it for each other if that's necessary.
So...move on. You can do better than this.
Besides, do you really want to be risking catching all those other women's cooties, through him?
I agree, I think he likes the variety of the different women....OP, his calling you his "girlfriend figure" is really weird...I mean what the hay does that mean?....He's playing games with you, and probably says the same to all his women....I don't understand why you're wasting time with this man...unless of course you don't desire a committed relationship, and are only in it for the sex....like him.
So, this might end up being a little long, but here goes.
I became friends with someone (through mutual friends) and we started sleeping together. We ended up getting extremely close, and he was calling me his "girlfriend figure". If we weren't together, we were ALWAYS on the phone. Every single day we talked several times. When we started talking, within a few weeks, we knew that we both liked each other and admitted it. Since we started out as friends with benefits, I knew that he was still sleeping with other girls. I know that I went wrong on my part by bringing up a relationship with him (too much). He said that it wasn't that he didn't want to, just that he didn't want to unless I quit smoking and he made sure that he wouldn't cheat. He has never denied that he has cheated before. About a week before V-Day, he found out that I am in love with him, and told me that he loved me. Not as a friend, but that he was falling in love with me. He ended up bailing on me on vday, and after that he sopped talking to me as much as he used to. We talked every other week or so and almost never saw eachother. We just started hanging out again (and sleeping together) and me being me, had to know if what we had was over. I asked him if he wanted me to move on or not. He said that it was cruel of me to ask that, and that he doesn't know. So, guys, if that were you...what would really be going on?
What would be going on is that he has more GF's in the stable. You are an object and not a person to this guy. In medical terms your a recepticle for a body fluid. Maybe a pump is a better term. Their is no love with this guy. I have plenty of friends just like him. I have one friend that keeps a "bull pen" of women, to use a Baseball term. He rotates them through the field when he decides to play them, or play with them. For others you would be like the car in a collection of cars, and he being the driver chooses which car he wants to drive that day. Maybe he drives you more often than them but still he has other choices.
Bringing up the relationship word sparked a fear in his mind that he has a problem with one of his cars and needs to drive other cars for a while, untill you were fixed or cured of your relationship problem. He doesn't want a relationship with you at all.
It is amazing that you would sleep with him before getting close, but then I guess that is how things are done now.
here is a story for you. When my wife was in high school she was dating this guy that worked on her to get her to put out. She never did. One of her girlfriend asked why she wouldn't do it. The girlfriend told my wife that if she wanted to keep her boyfriend she would have to eventually put out or he would be gone. Turns out that she was right, the guy eventually dumped her. That guy didn't want a relationship, he wanted sex. Your guy is the same way.
You're a girl who's willing to be friends with benefits, so that's how he views you also. He can have the sex, good conversation, social validation, late night booty calls and no strings attached.
The only thing he needs to do to obtain all of this from you is USE HIS WORDS. "Girlfriend figure", he loves you, he's glad you wouldn't abort if you were pregnant. He's learning how powerful words alone can be, and unfortunately he probably doesn't mean a lot of them.
Chalk it up to a guy who is playing the field and having a good time. Time to move on girl.
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