Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I recently dated a girl for nearly two months and every time we were together was better than the last - more fun, more passionate. It became sexual despite some apprehension on her part and I slept over with her one night. She just got out of a 3-year relationship but we were amazed at our compatibility, talking and laughing together for hours. Then one night she was acting somewhat distant and finally broke into a nervous discussion with me about not being emotionally ready to be fully sexually intimate or to start a new relationship yet. I called her the next week and she officially said she wasn't ready and apologized for trying things out with me and it not being the right time. I couldn't believe it; one night she was half naked in my arms in bed, and the next time I saw her our relationship was put into question.
I'm 25 and can safely say that I'm not a very average person. I'm not attracted to most girls psychologically and I've never met a girl like her that I'm so compatible with. She and I could relate to one another so well and talk for hours. Our values, morals, and lifestyles are nearly identical and we have many similar tastes. I know we're highly compatible for a serious relationship. There's no doubt in my mind that we're a great match.
She closed her online dating account, proving that she was honest with me. She said she'd be open to staying in touch, but we both agreed that friendship could get messy. As we said our goodbyes in person, we laughed and joked just like in the past. After she hugged me and we parted ways, I told myself to never look back, but it didn't take long for me to shift on that. I plan to call her in a few months to see if she'd like to casually meet at a restaurant and catch up.
I've never met anyone like her - not even close - and I can't let her go without giving it another try. I've had girls find me attractive physically and mentally, but it ultimately never led to a strong mutual interest. This girl was different. She won't stay unready to date forever, and I'm dying to pick up where we very abruptly left off. I thought I could move on, but the pain seems to only increase every week.
Well, in the end if you call and she rejects you .. you at least know. I don't think it could hurt, but just know that if you do call her and she turns you down that you should move on for good.
I recently dated a girl for nearly two months and every time we were together was better than the last - more fun, more passionate. It became sexual despite some apprehension on her part and I slept over with her one night. She just got out of a 3-year relationship but we were amazed at our compatibility, talking and laughing together for hours. Then one night she was acting somewhat distant and finally broke into a nervous discussion with me about not being emotionally ready to be fully sexually intimate or to start a new relationship yet. I called her the next week and she officially said she wasn't ready and apologized for trying things out with me and it not being the right time. I couldn't believe it; one night she was half naked in my arms in bed, and the next time I saw her our relationship was put into question.
I'm 25 and can safely say that I'm not a very average person. I'm not attracted to most girls psychologically and I've never met a girl like her that I'm so compatible with. She and I could relate to one another so well and talk for hours. Our values, morals, and lifestyles are nearly identical and we have many similar tastes. I know we're highly compatible for a serious relationship. There's no doubt in my mind that we're a great match.
She closed her online dating account, proving that she was honest with me. She said she'd be open to staying in touch, but we both agreed that friendship could get messy. As we said our goodbyes in person, we laughed and joked just like in the past. After she hugged me and we parted ways, I told myself to never look back, but it didn't take long for me to shift on that. I plan to call her in a few months to see if she'd like to casually meet at a restaurant and catch up.
I've never met anyone like her - not even close - and I can't let her go without giving it another try. I've had girls find me attractive physically and mentally, but it ultimately never led to a strong mutual interest. This girl was different. She won't stay unready to date forever, and I'm dying to pick up where we very abruptly left off. I thought I could move on, but the pain seems to only increase every week.
The way I look at it, if you've touched her, then she was attracted to you and you've already broken the biggest barrier.
Unless she gets someone else, I don't see why you shouldn't keep going after her.
As for the compatibility part, she may or may not feel the same. Quite honestly, she might feel like you guys aren't even that close as you're proclaiming her as 'the one'. Life is sooo like that. Not that it matters. If she's attracted to you, she'll probably give it a shot. People start dating and realize they're not compatible after all and breakup all the time.
I don't think it could hurt, but just know that if you do call her and she turns you down that you should move on for good.
I agree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba
The way I look at it, if you've touched her, then she was attracted to you and you've already broken the biggest barrier.
There was strong physical attraction and sexual activity. We always made out and had "heavy petting" in her bed twice.
She doesn't have much of a social life and she closed her dating account, so I doubt she'd meet a new guy very soon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maddog1
^^^^^ excellent point. Id wait only a month , though
It's been one month now. I was going to wait one or two more. The idea is that she wasn't ready yet, and she said how she wants to focus on her friends right now. Plus she was busy this last month with driving across state to stay with her family. So I think only one month might be a bit too soon.
[FONT=arial][FONT=arial][FONT=arial][FONT=arial] I plan to call her in a few months to see if she'd like to casually meet at a restaurant and catch up.[/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]
That sounds like a plan. I think you're right to stick to what you said about a few months, too. She was in a three-year relationship. It's going to take more than another four weeks of going out with her friends, doing things she didn't, couldn't, or wouldn't do while she was with the last guy, and just plain healing, for her to be ready.
My current and I went through something like that. Not a rebound situation, but the timing wasn't right. We left off with "it's not our time yet" and parted ways for about four months, emailing occasionally and chatting online once in a while, and we had lunch when I came up to see a few more apartments before making my decision on a lease. I stayed busy planning my move, going out with friends, and so on, and trying not to think, "OMG, what if he meets someone this summer?" It was hellish, really, even though I was the one who did the dirty work of pushing for the break. He just worked a boatload of overtime that summer and always knew we'd get back together when I got here, the rat fink. But if either of us had pushed, it wouldn't have worked.
Stay in touch, but casually and lightly. Hold on loosely, is the best way I can put it.
That sounds like a plan. I think you're right to stick to what you said about a few months, too. She was in a three-year relationship. It's going to take more than another four weeks of going out with her friends, doing things she didn't, couldn't, or wouldn't do while she was with the last guy, and just plain healing, for her to be ready.
Stay in touch, but casually and lightly. Hold on loosely, is the best way I can put it.
Thanks so much, Yzette. We parted ways in late April. Right now I'm thinking of just leaving her alone and then, assuming I don't meet anyone, calling her in August or possibly late July. I've kept somewhat busy this last month but I'm incredibly eager for the chance to call her again and see if she reacts positively.
--she just got out of relationship, so she wants some time to emotionally recover
--you got physical with her, so you are way ahead of the game in terms of developing a relationship
--she doesn't want a relationship right now, and you should agree that now is not a good time for your guys to be in a relationship, so you should suggest that you guys stay in the "friends zone" while she is emotionally recovering.
--"as a friend", call and ask her out to do stuff --nothing romantic. just activities to "take her mind off her ex". only rule is that you guys don't talk about her ex while out.
--call her now, don't wait any longer, you are making yourself cold, especially after connecting with her physically. wait till July you leaving the door open for some other guy to hang out with her.
--remember the rule "the best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one". be standing by...
Good Luck.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It was hellish, really, even though I was the one who did the dirty work of pushing for the break. He just worked a boatload of overtime that summer and always knew we'd get back together when I got here, the rat fink. 
But if either of us had pushed, it wouldn't have worked.
