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I think the thirties is a perfectly normal time to want to get married.
For me, I wouldn't want to see my kids start a family or get married too early. I'd agree that it is important to have some time to enjoy life in a way that it is more difficult once you have kids.
One thing that I've notice, for both genders, is that once you see your friends get married and have kids of their own, everything starts to change. Life changes a lot once your buddy starts prioritizing tball games over getting drunk every weekend. So either you are sort of left out of the loop, you look for new friends, or you may even come to the realization that you are ready for marriage and a family.
See I don't have that experience because those party days were long past before they even thought about family. The weekends now are spent at BBQs with groups of all types. There are drinks and the designated drivers who also watch the kids. The parents usually trade off on who is sober for the day. No one really gets trashed either or acts like a jerry springer guest while drinking. We all just laugh too loud and thats about it.
There are all adult parties too where the sweet grandmas swoop in to take the kids for the night. Then we can laugh AND swear. LOL
You can make life a prison or a party. Its all about being true to yourself and loving the people around you.
My future mother in law was giving us crap at a wedding recently (where we were the youngest people AND they were speaking tagalog FWIW) about always being off alone and talking together and SO said, entirely straight faced: "That's because we're best friends."
::swoon:: I adore that man. And he's 100% right. Everybody else annoys me after a while now, but he (almost) never does.
Because perhaps they met women who knocked their socks off and they wanted to settle down and start a family. Marriage isn't for everyone, obviously, but it's just odd to me that some of you interweb dudes can't fathom that not all guys want to play the field, or that they really enjoy the company of their girlfriends and wives. They're not miserable in relationships.
This. ^^^^
Barring shotgun weddings and green card weddings, most people get married because they are in love and want to live the rest of their lives together.
Why this is so hard to understand is beyond me. My only guess is that people who don't get it have never loved someone just that much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
Uh yeah it does. And I can't imagine myself being in love and I'll do anything to prevent it.
Which is going to make it that much more funny when it happens.
I can sort of understand why average guys get married in their 20s and 30s, but why do so many guys who are or will likely be highly successful (top law school students, med students, Wall Street guys, successful entrepreneurs, etc) marry in their 20s and 30s?
I understand if a guy wants to start a family one day, but wouldn't it be better to finish school, start making some serious money (6 figures), enjoy the bachelor life while making 6 figures for a good 10 years, THEN look to settle down around 40 to a woman who is around the age of 30? I'm just wondering because I know so many guys who worked very hard to put themselves in a great financial position, but got married/engaged prior to making excellent money and pretty much missed out on everything that comes with being a highly successful, single guy. I just don't understand why so many guys do this to themselves.
Can someone please explain this insanity?
Can someone explain to me the insanity of why a man would want to be in the dating game?
Dealing with rejection, meeting shallow women who size you up, going to bars and trying to decide which women you have a chance with and which are going to shoot you down and how hard. Getting rejected to build confidence and boost your game?
That's horrible. Even if you have $, you are going to get shot down a lot. If you're good looking, then maybe your rejection rate will be quite low. Then, maybe I can see it.
But for the rest, I can't see how any man would prefer the dating game to a relationship. Relationships are awesome. You have somebody who cares about you and somebody to lean on. Sometimes when I'm in a relationship, I think it would be good to be single and I slap myself when I remember how horrid it is.
(Just to clarify, being single and content ain't bad, but being single and looking ... sucks)
Harry (Billy Crystal) had a nice take on it: "because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
Exactly. That's why it's harder and harder for women in their 30s to find decent men - we don't want guys who've slept with every woman possible just because they thought their success entitled to them to that behavior.
...and then just assumed that women would then fall all over them to get married, have their kids, and then give up the prime of their lives taking care of said "established" older men when they start getting creaky.
I met a few men like that in my late 20s, 40-somethings who made it a point to inform me that they were done "sowing their wild oats" and wanted to settle down.
And I'd smile and say, "But don't women your age have a harder time conceiving?" [URL="http://******************"][IMG]http://******************/angel-smiley-5090.gif[/IMG][/URL]
The OP assumption is on its basic principle incorrect. He imagines that the greatest goal is to sleep with lots of women?? Many men have higher goals in their life than to be a player and user, trying to get as many women in the sack as possible before they die. Many men decide they've had enough of dating, they meet a fine woman who they want to settle down with and spend their lives with. They look forward to and enjoy the idea of family, children, home, a happy marriage. Yes, many fail to achieve this but a very large number are also quite successful with it. I know many of them. They wouldn't have it any other way, and have a life, a wife and children they wouldn't trade for all the money and "hotties" in the world.
I can sort of understand why average guys get married in their 20s and 30s, but why do so many guys who are or will likely be highly successful (top law school students, med students, Wall Street guys, successful entrepreneurs, etc) marry in their 20s and 30s?
I understand if a guy wants to start a family one day, but wouldn't it be better to finish school, start making some serious money (6 figures), enjoy the bachelor life while making 6 figures for a good 10 years, THEN look to settle down around 40 to a woman who is around the age of 30? I'm just wondering because I know so many guys who worked very hard to put themselves in a great financial position, but got married/engaged prior to making excellent money and pretty much missed out on everything that comes with being a highly successful, single guy. I just don't understand why so many guys do this to themselves.
Can someone please explain this insanity?
Because you'll be ready to retire when your kids graduate HS. It's kind of hard to play ball with your kids at age 60 compared to 40.
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Wow
