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My possible future employer wanted to know by tonight! I asked if i could make the decision by Monday, as even the best of decisions should not be made so quickly. If she says no, I will be declining either way.
I told the girl last night. I can tell she doesn't want me to give it up, but thinks things the as me (she drove up at 1am-we live 25 min apart now, but I work where she lives). I think the line that stands out is she said there are plenty of fish in the sea, but I told her I had caught my fish and this was the one I wanted, she agreed and came in close to cuddle the rest of the night. She works as a stylist, so her job is transferable to another area. I am going to see if she will move. If not, I believe I will stay. I have had panic attacks and been sick to my something since getting the offer, and thinking about losing her. I also think other factors are coming into play (do I really want to stay in my field? I like Charlotte, but my first choice is out West.) I do not think I should be feeling this sick if this is the right move for me.
Thank you guys for your help thus far. I will let you know more as things develop. I am still pretty shaky and my anxiety-ridden right now.
I so agree! I'm actually from WI and live in NC, trust me, good WI girls don't exist in the south, unless they are transplants like me!!
I had the same decision to make about 13 years ago. Stay in DC with a guy I had just started dating, but was head over heels in love with, or go to Germany for a minimum of three years where I'd be making more money, and get to see the world (or at least a small portion of it). I talked about it with my boyfriend and he said that I should go overseas, that we would visit each other a few times a year, and after about a year or so when he got his finances together he would move over there with me. So I moved.
A month after I left, he cheated. We broke up for good when I came back to visit (and he told me about the other woman).
I ended up with three years of amazing experiences in Europe, and made lifelong friends with some of my co-workers. The shared experience of being overseas without any other friends or family was a great bonding experience and even though none of us work in the same place now, we are all still very close.
A few years after getting back from Europe, I moved to be with someone, not because of a job. Again, the relationship failed and that time I was stuck in a hell hole of a city with a crappy job and no boyfriend.
I'm not saying that your girlfriend is about to dump you, but I certainly wouldn't move, or stay, based on a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. You need to do what is right for you. I'll never move for anyone again, or stay put for anyone either, not unless that person is already my husband.
It's very sweet and romantic to want to stay but is it a good idea? It's hard to say. There are no right answers. I'd like to tell you to be practical. But investing in a relationship is not a bad idea, either. It's your life.
Considering her job seems very transferable, I would tell her that you're wanting her to join you in Charlotte. Is she declines, IMO, I would still leave.
Well, I ended up turning down the job. I thought about other reasons I should or shouldn't take it and decided to stay. My real goal is to get to ABQ, and I can get a higher paying job here (I wasn't applying, because I do want to leave the area badly). I am going to try things out with the girl, get the job here, and then if it does or doesn't work out, move. Thanks for all the replies.
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