Hanging out with opposite sex friends while in exclusive relationship (women, love)
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Hmm, wow. I appreciate the honesty. I have been cheated on before.
But, I had caught her up in a couple lies over the relationship. So you see nothing wrong with your significant other giving their number to someone of the opposite sex to hang out?
I really would like help here? Maybe I do have trust issues....but the people I have spoke with this about (close family members and friends) say she was basically wrong to do that. But the apple doesnt fall far from the tree right? Was the exGF just doing normal "friend" behavior? Isnt looking the other way on something like that setting yourself up for a devestating oppurtunity for the S/O to cheat?
You sound very young
You have been cheated on before, but not by her. Don't let your fears rule you.
Jealousy is such a waste of time and energy.
Either you trust her or you don't.
If she has done something VALID to lose that trust then break up with her.
If she hasn't done anything real to lose your trust then you need to grow up a bit.
BTW, clingy people are very unattractive to emotionally healthy partners.
I hang out with male friends that are both friends of mine and my bf. He hangs out with girls that are both friends of mine and his. It works if you have a good relationship with the friend your SO/bf/gf is hanging out with. AKA you both have this persons number in your phone, you both hang out with this person etc.
You have been cheated on before, but not by her. Don't let your fears rule you.
Jealousy is such a waste of time and energy.
Either you trust her or you don't.
If she has done something VALID to lose that trust then break up with her.
If she hasn't done anything real to lose your trust then you need to grow up a bit.
BTW, clingy people are very unattractive to emotionally healthy partners.
hmm, blunt honesty.
Bit of a gut check...
Am I wrong assuming that for the majority, woman are more accepting of this mentality about the whole situation?
well you already dump her anyway or is it the other way around? and if she did and she is now with the dude in your scenario then isn't it safe to say you already know the answer to your own question based on experience?
what's the point of this if you are not with the girl anymore anyway?
hmm, blunt honesty.
Bit of a gut check...
Am I wrong assuming that for the majority, woman are more accepting of this mentality about the whole situation?
No, we are not.
You can't trust someone blindly in all situations. We are all human. Findly185 has the most realistic, human response.
hmm, blunt honesty.
Bit of a gut check...
Am I wrong assuming that for the majority, woman are more accepting of this mentality about the whole situation?
It's not a male or female thing - the green-eyed monster does not discriminate.
When you are jealous you have a choice not to give in to it and let your imagination run away with you.
But being able to tame that green-eyed monster can take maturity and practice.
I suggest you start now
Again, IF your girl is not someone you can trust, you need to break up with her because this relationship is going nowhere.
If she is trustworthy, then you need to get a grip and quit letting your ego make your choices for you.
She's your ex now, so what difference does it make?
But I suppose you're asking the theoretical at this point.
My answer is that it depends on how long you've been dating and why you've never met the guy. If you had only been dating for a couple of months and he was her childhood buddy and she just hadn't had an opportunity to introduce you yet, that would be one thing.
But if you had been dating for a while and this guy just appeared out of nowhere, as this guy did, then no, I wouldn't like that, either. I'd also wonder why she made a point of announcing that he's a "ladies man" and why, if they were friends, she never introduced you to him and why he didn't extend the invitation to you.
That's just the way I was raised, and something I've kept with me my whole life. Once you commit to an SO, you should know that person's friends--if you haven't already met them, as you can tell a lot about people by the company they keep. If they are truly friends of your SO, with no designs on that person, they will invite you along to things because they would want to know this wonderful person their buddy has been dating. They might even want to check you out and make sure you're not some dirtbag who is going to do their friend wrong.
And if you're the one being invited to do something, you make it a point to mention your SO, if you haven't had a chance to make introductions yet.
I'm sure some people will disagree with me, and say I'm too hung up on what is appropriate, but I think it goes beyond manners: When you care about someone, you want the person to feel comfortable and to trust you.
I hang out with male friends that are both friends of mine and my bf. He hangs out with girls that are both friends of mine and his. It works if you have a good relationship with the friend your SO/bf/gf is hanging out with. AKA you both have this persons number in your phone, you both hang out with this person etc.
I met this guy twice early in the relationship with the now exGF. Literally, the only thing he ever said to me was this exactly: "good luck buddy", with a pa on the shoulder. kinda weird. the weird thing is, everytime I met her friends, no one EVER spoke to me. Except, one of the married guys in her socail group. But that might be a whole other issue. But needless to say, it was very weird and awekward.
I went to college, I've been to tons of parties and tons of bars. At times in my life, I have had 20-30 friends of whiich I could call up and hang out with. I don't consider myself socially inverted. But the social situations that panned out with this exGF were the weirdest socail situations I've EVER experienced. Barely no one ever talked to me, then the GF would walk away, and "go to the batchroom". She would come back 30 minutes later and say sorry, got caught talking to so and so. But she would NEVER engage her friends in conversation in my presense. EVER.
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