Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If my ex have me designer purses and I still liked them I would keep them too, as I could not afford to buy new ones for myself. It isn't like she is thinking of "him" while using her purses. You are making this a much bigger deal than it needs to be.
Your original post was about not understanding why she kept 5 expensive handbags that her ex gave her, right? And in the last you post you said it was weird that she'd kept them. You asked her who gave them to her (so you must have realized that they're quite expensive and that she couldn't afford them on her own) and didn't like it when she told you her ex gave them to her. So you're either bothered by the fact that she retains something her ex gave her or that you're not going to be able to provide her the same material items he provided for her. Either way, it triggered something in you that's really bothering you. I'm not attacking you, but I do think you need to address whatever it is that's truly upsetting you.
I'm bothered by the fact that she retained something her ex gave her yes, several things actually. I can buy her one tomorrow for sure. But it is what it is, I've read just about every post here, and I do appreciate all the criticism, even if I 100% disagree about the insecurity part, but its what it is. Like I said, I'm not bringing it up again, I've voiced my opinion, I don't expect her to do anything and I don't want her to do anything.
BTW, the whole I'm making the bigger deal out of this. I just came on here to get opinions. The conversation I had with her was on Saturday, and I thought that was the end of it until she asked me again last night. So yeah...I didn't post here to get people to side with me, just to hear other opinions on it, and I keep reading in the last couple of pages about her throwing them away which is something I never mentioned. I'm not sure how it's gotten to that point.
I'm bothered by the fact that she retained something her ex gave her yes, several things actually. I can buy her one tomorrow for sure. But it is what it is, I've read just about every post here, and I do appreciate all the criticism, even if I 100% disagree about the insecurity part, but its what it is. Like I said, I'm not bringing it up again, I've voiced my opinion, I don't expect her to do anything and I don't want her to do anything.
My daughters ex got her a cat. That would be a difficult thing to give up for some dude she might only date a couple months...haha.
I read a post once where someone wanted a new matterss and beddding because past lovers had used it. People have all sorts of weird hangups don't they?
Alright, quick back story, I've been dating this girl for about 4 months now, in a relationship for 3. We were driving to my house on Saturday, everything was fine. She has about 3 or 4 pairs of sunglasses in her car and she picked one out and said "maybe I should wear these" (but she didn't) and I asked, those are nice, who gave them to you. Turns out they were Aviator sunglasses that her ex from 8 years ago gave her. Fine, whatever.
Turns out she has about 4-5 bags (maybe more), brand name, Louis Vuitton bags that she still uses. Also gifts from her ex. The only comment I made to her was that it's weird that she still uses stuff her ex-boyfriend gave her. If it was 1 bag, whatever, the fact that it's 5, and she still uses them, makes it awkward. She said they don't mean anything to her, and that the reason why she still has them is because she can't afford them, and they are brand name purses. She tried to flip it and say "if your ex gave you your glasses that you're wearing, I would have a problem with it." Mind you, I need my glasses b/c my vision is ****. I'm not going to throw away prescription glasses just because an ex gave them to me. I need my glasses, she don't need a Louis Vuitton purse. Big difference.
I didn't ask her to throw them away, I didn't ask her to pawn it, even though she pawned off all the jewelry her ex gave her, and she threw away the clothes (but kept all the bags??), I just found it weird and she doesn't seem to understand that. She's perfectly fine with keeping them because she couldn't afford it on her own dime. I don't get it?
Edit: What pissed me off was that she went the "I shouldn't have told you" route. It's coming from the same person who has told me repeatedly that we need to be open and honest with each other, but then she pulls that line out. That irritated me, it's ok for her not to tell me things, but I have to spill everything about me?
Do you want her to get rid of the bags? Why?
Bags aren't important as jewelry. They're just handbags. They mean nothing and neither do the shades she got from some guy 8 years ago.
You're being silly and ridiculous. Keep it up and then she'll get rid of you.
I read a post once where someone wanted a new matterss and beddding because past lovers had used it. People have all sorts of weird hangups don't they?
I know a guy that had to get rid of an almost new bed because he and his ex had used it.
You told her that her choice to keep her own possessions was "weird."
Quote:
I said it was weird that you still had stuff your ex gave you, that was it.
You called her a hypocrite.
Quote:
I'm being portrayed as the weirdo here for voicing an opinion and for noting her hypocrisy,
And you still don't understand why your reaction is being called out?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
