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Its good in the sense that if you know they've been around and that turns you off, then you know no longer to invest any time into them. Other than that, I can't think of any good that can come out of it.
It really just depends on the people. My girlfriend can tell a story/situation that involves her ex and I'm fine with it. I don't see the need to pretend he never existed.
I started dating my ex-wife when she was a freshman in college. She was staying in the dorm, and visitors had to leave their ID with security. I just moved to Richmond from Phoenix, so I still have my Arizona ID (and Arizona licenses don't expire until your 60th birthday). I would come downstairs, and the kids behind the security desk would be showing off my driver's license, showing off the expiration date.
Those are the stories I like to tell. My last girlfriend went into way too much detail, like we were driving past a Fresh Market, and she had to make it a point to say she dated a guy who worked at said store, and went into detail about his apartment. To add insult to injury, she dated a friend of mine, and she had to talk about how bad the sex was with him (a mental picture I did not need).
Why are people so threatened by previous relationships. You can't pretend they didn't exist. Especially if children were produced. These experiences made the person who they are today. I find it extremely immature and somewhat possesive and controlling. If you don't trust your partner then you have more than an ex to worry about. Pathetic
Those are the stories I like to tell. My last girlfriend went into way too much detail, like we were driving past a Fresh Market, and she had to make it a point to say she dated a guy who worked at said store, and went into detail about his apartment. To add insult to injury, she dated a friend of mine, and she had to talk about how bad the sex was with him (a mental picture I did not need).
It sounds like she just talked too much, but at least she was putting down the sex. Besides, I assume you knew they had sex anyway.
That's why I would never date any girl who has been with a friend of mine. Its a real nice way to mess up a friendship.
I wasn't really that good of friends with him to begin with. I just knew him from school; we were both in the same program. Apparently he cheated on her with his current wife, but they only end up marrying because he knocked her up. You'd think he's some sort of pimp, but dude looks like the result of inbreeding gone terribly wrong.
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Originally Posted by Slanderous
It sounds like she just talked too much, but at least she was putting down the sex. Besides, I assume you knew they had sex anyway.
She talked way too much about exes, but I think that may have to do with the fact I was her rebound from her previous relationship. She's not the only one like that; I know way too much detail of when my ex-wife and ex-fiancee both lost their virginity.
I wouldn't want to know personal details of their intimate life together, but a synopsis of the relationship as a whole is always good...how long did they date and why did they break up is important to know if I'm thinking about a serious relationship with someone.
I cannot speak for everyone, but for my wife and I, speaking about our pasts was part of our relationship growing together.
Her past relationships (as well as mine) are part of what makes us who we are today, and allows us to better identify the things in relationships and others that we like and do not like, can accept and do not accept. They helped us form a better knowledge of ourselves and what makes us tick, and sharing that with each other teaches us those things about each other. IMO it has helped us be better spouses to each other.
Just as a note, this includes intimate details too... which I do not really ask or need to know but listen if she feels it is important to tell me. I do not question where her heart of commitment is, and do not find jealously in anything she wants to share. I know it is made her who she is now, which is the woman I love.
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