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I assume you mean in general, and not as in sexual/romantic details.
Sometimes it's just part of getting to know your SO. Places they have been, the types of relationships they've had. It can be helpful to know how they are accustomed to thinking of what a relationship is. If it was problematic for them, it can be helpful for them to work through past problems by talking about it with someone who loves them in a healthy way.
I would never compare current and former lovers. That definitely would not be helpful.
I think it can be beneficial in the sense that the other person is open to discussing it, getting to know how many people they have been with (STD's etc.), what worked and didn't work in their past relationships etc. I do however think there is a very thin line between it being a good thing and going horribly wrong. I don't think it is good to go into details of your sexual exploits and discuss how you were so in love with this person or that, at least women do not handle hearing that so well.
I think it can be beneficial in the sense that the other person is open to discussing it, getting to know how many people they have been with (STD's etc.), what worked and didn't work in their past relationships etc. I do however think there is a very thin line between it being a good thing and going horribly wrong. I don't think it is good to go into details of your sexual exploits and discuss how you were so in love with this person or that, at least women do not handle hearing that so well.
You raise some good points, but let me take it a bit further as to how detailed one should get about past relationships. I happen to come from an abusive marriage (where my ex-wife was the abuser), and an engagement were my ex-fiancee and her mom played a lot of mind games with me. How much in depth should I get with that?
It really just depends on the people. My girlfriend can tell a story/situation that involves her ex and I'm fine with it. I don't see the need to pretend he never existed.
It really just depends on the people. My girlfriend can tell a story/situation that involves her ex and I'm fine with it. I don't see the need to pretend he never existed.
Agreed
My wife and I are open about our previous lovers. We have even shared very intimate details.
We are secure in our relationship. I can find no fault in her previous lovers as I was one of them myself. She chose me!
We met 20 years ago and lived together a couple years. Broke up and remained friends. We married new years day 2001.
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