Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Wondering if anyone has experience with a relationship that is solid but has gotten ahead of where it can be....for right now.
Short version is 2 1/2 yrs to this point. Two single parents with a common property line who happened to fall in love. Lots of prior sadness on both sides leading to the singleness.
We spend time in each others homes but do not stay the night....example for the kids. Neither of us is going anywhere but a marriage or cohabitation would be several years up the road.
Has anyone else been able to sustain the magic through periods where you want to have more(both) than is right for the situation and timing?
A little more info would help. If the two of you are right next door, I am guessing that seeing each other practically daily for significant time would not be a problem.
What would seem to be a hurdle would be spending time alone together, since both of you have children. This of course is unavoidable, so maybe that has things moving a little slower?
No reason to jump the gun and move in together, but why do you think the relationship is not ready to move to a next stage? is it lack of quality time to really get to know each other? Too many distractions? Still enough uncertainty that you want to protect feelings of the kids?
is the reason for more time needed after 2 1/2 years. They're not young enough for a blended family to work....nor old enough to be totally out of the house yet.
It seems like a lot to force each of our kids to swallow at this point....she feels the same.
A little more info would help. If the two of you are right next door, I am guessing that seeing each other practically daily for significant time would not be a problem.
What would seem to be a hurdle would be spending time alone together, since both of you have children. This of course is unavoidable, so maybe that has things moving a little slower?
No reason to jump the gun and move in together, but why do you think the relationship is not ready to move to a next stage? is it lack of quality time to really get to know each other? Too many distractions? Still enough uncertainty that you want to protect feelings of the kids?
Yes we do get plenty of time together and there are no issues with that. It's just that we have a lot of what we could have anyway, and time passing will prevent disruptions with the kids.
Do the kids not get along? Do they harbor resentments that they are not with both of their biological parents?
I would think with some explanation at their knowledge level, familiarty, and slowly transitioning, they could be eased into blending. My stepdaughter had a little bit of an adjustment initially when her, and her mom moved into my house, but we worked with her, made sure she had fun, kept to schedule, explained things, and she has gotten accustomed and accepted everything very well. (She is 3 too, so on the young side which helps... plus she has not seen her bio dad since she was an infant).
Do the kids not get along? Do they harbor resentments that they are not with both of their biological parents?
I would think with some explanation at their knowledge level, familiarty, and slowly transitioning, they could be eased into blending. My stepdaughter had a little bit of an adjustment initially when her, and her mom moved into my house, but we worked with her, made sure she had fun, kept to schedule, explained things, and she has gotten accustomed and accepted everything very well. (She is 3 too, so on the young side which helps... plus she has not seen her bio dad since she was an infant).
The kids get along well enough. Mine are almost out of the house, and hers are 4 or 5 years younger.
The biological thing....we have one death and one rotten ex between us....and some level of teen depression on both sides.....which we are working through separately.
The kids get along well enough. Mine are almost out of the house, and hers are 4 or 5 years younger.
The biological thing....we have one death and one rotten ex between us....and some level of teen depression on both sides.....which we are working through separately.
Sounds like you are handling things in a good way then. That age, I am sure, can be a lot more difficult when dealing with their parents new relationships, compared with the broken ones of the past. It is a lot on top of all the normal teenage hormones (as I am sure you know far better than I, as your living it).
Sounds like really easing into things is good. What do her kids, and yours, think of your relationship? Are they generally approving and accepting? Encouraging?
Sounds like you are handling things in a good way then. That age, I am sure, can be a lot more difficult when dealing with their parents new relationships, compared with the broken ones of the past. It is a lot on top of all the normal teenage hormones (as I am sure you know far better than I, as your living it).
Sounds like really easing into things is good. What do her kids, and yours, think of your relationship? Are they generally approving and accepting? Encouraging?
All of the kids get along and are pretty supportive....nobody is upset in that regard.....it's just that they like their own space and stuff, which is understandable.....and it would seem like pulling the rug on all of that might be a bit selfish on our part.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ages of kids
