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Old 06-07-2012, 08:03 PM
 
Location: Cardboard box
1,909 posts, read 3,771,197 times
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With friends and lovers like that, who needs ememies?
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Old 06-07-2012, 08:36 PM
 
Location: Texas
5,007 posts, read 7,848,946 times
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I've become friends with certain girls just to get to know their hot friends better, but I never led them on to believe I was interested in anything beyond a friendship. It has backfired once (hell hath no fury like a woman scorned), but it has worked out in my favor a few times to.
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Old 06-08-2012, 08:01 AM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,507,038 times
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Hmmmm, I wouldn't say I left him for his best friend. But I dated his best friend almost immediately after. Let's just say I did, for the sake of this discussion. I'm sure some of you will see no difference.

It was a bad decision. But that had nothing to do with the best friend issue. That particular boyfriend/ex didn't deserve any considerations. I was not inclined to extend him any courtesies. Would I make it a habit? Certainly not. I recognize that good friendships are sacred and I do value that.

They were best friends, yes. But the man I "left him for" was also one of MY dear friends. He witnessed, first hand, the douchebaggery that I dealt with. He consoled me through some really crappy crap. And it wasn't until I was done with it all that he told me how he felt about me. He'd lost a huge amount of respect for his friend and didn't care if they never spoke again. So, there was no loss there for either of us.

I was the happiest I had EVER been, at the time. I fell in love with someone who was also my friend. I have no regrets in that regard. Would I do it again? If I found myself with another worthless POS, and the situation presented itself, absolutely. But I'm making significantly better choices in men these days. Still, I don't think friends are completely off limits in certain situations. Not every instance is about deceit or infidelity.
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Old 06-08-2012, 09:27 AM
 
7,235 posts, read 7,012,777 times
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This happened to a friend of mine (her husband left her for her best friend). Total scandal. In one fell swoop she lost the two people who meant the most to her. What a ****ty thing to do to someone.
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Old 06-08-2012, 10:51 AM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,417,658 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Philosophizer View Post
I've become friends with certain girls just to get to know their hot friends better, but I never led them on to believe I was interested in anything beyond a friendship. It has backfired once (hell hath no fury like a woman scorned), but it has worked out in my favor a few times to.

but you are interested in something more then their freindship, using them for your own selfish motivations....what a great "friend"
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Old 06-08-2012, 11:09 AM
 
Location: France
158 posts, read 381,623 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevdawgg View Post
Have you ever ended your relationship with someone and went for their best friend? How did it feel?

You know, I would never do something like that. But there are those who are dumb enough to do so.

I was dumb enough to try to do so...
When I was about 12 I met a boy during a summer holiday, kind of liked him but nothing happened because...well, I was 12 (he was 13).

Fastforward 5 years, I meet him again at a club; he is with a friend and I don't know how but I somehow end up dating this other guy. It lasted for a few months and I eventually ended things because I wasn't really that into him, I was a highschool senior with a lot of studying to do and I hoped that as soon as enough time had passed I could try going out with his friend.

I tried getting his attention for about a year, but he would not cave (don't imagine I did anything to drastic, I was very shy). He knew I liked him, so did my ex (and suffered a lot because of it), but nothing ever happened because they were really good friends.
Sometimes I still wonder if he ever really liked me or he would have said no regardless...

Anyway, when I was about 20 I got my karma: I got dumped by someone I really cared about and afew weeks later he started dating a so called friend of mine.
I met with my ex, the one I had dumped before and gave him the most sincere appology I was capable of. Funny thing is, I had the impression he still cared about me.

And, to tie it all with a nice bow, I wasn't able to have a meaningfull relationship up until the day he got married. I met my future husband the weekend his wedding took place.
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Old 06-08-2012, 11:17 AM
 
65 posts, read 84,265 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redvelvet709 View Post
So what if those two people were supposed to be together? What if they married and had a beautiful life together, were super compatible and just one of those couples that "worked?" How do we know what a good match should be?
That does not matter. That's just a code among friends that is taboo to be broken, or at least it was among my friends.

I suppose there would be a situation that I could get over it. Say the woman came to me and was up front and said she wanted to date my best friend. In turn if the best friend came to me and was up front and said they wanted to date. Well, I would still not like it, but I could possibly get past that and still b friends at some point. I would appreciate their honesty and forthright attitude.

I could most likely eventually get past that and be OK with it.

But just to brazenly dump me for my best friend and they had no feelings for me or not a word from them? That would be an EX friend.
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