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So a few months ago, I was over my mother in law's place with my wife for a party and one of my MIL friends was there. Well my wife is pregnant and was at the time. She began coughing and I was sitting next to her. She pretty much had been coughing the whole day and so I figured she just needed some water, so I asked her did she need some water? I guess because I didn't jump up and ran to my wife's aid, my MIL's friend took exception and told me I needed to snap out of it (snaps her finger at me) and help her. I was very upset. My BIL and SIL were also offended that the lady said that to me and they told my MIL that they didn't like her friend's attitude. She was basically questioning me as a husband. Finally I told my MIL that I was upset but I understood where it was coming from (her friend in the middle of a marriage separation).
Fast forward to now, my SIL is throwing my wife a baby shower and my MIL wants to bring her friend. Keep in mind that my wife and I don't know this woman a great deal so we only see her through my MIL. With that said, do you think it is disrespectful for my MIL to invite this woman to the baby shower?
Last edited by justtitans; 06-05-2012 at 05:13 PM..
If it makes your MIL happy to invite her friend, just leave it alone. The party might last two hours. Then it will be business as usual. In two years no one will remember what happened with the cough episode unless you keep complaining.
If it makes your MIL happy to invite her friend, just leave it alone. The party might last two hours. Then it will be business as usual. In two years no one will remember what happened with the cough episode unless you keep complaining.
^^ yup-she dissed you not your wife- you shouldn't be there anyhoo-plus she might bring a great gift
^^ yup-she dissed you not your wife- you shouldn't be there anyhoo-plus she might bring a great gift
I'm more or less being coerced to go. I wasn't going even before this news, but I was told that my brother in laws are coming too (they are all traveling from out of town with their wives) so I wouldn't want to leave the men there by themselves and not have the father there.
If it makes your MIL happy to invite her friend, just leave it alone. The party might last two hours. Then it will be business as usual. In two years no one will remember what happened with the cough episode unless you keep complaining.
Who is complaining? I just asked if she went too far? Was I upset about what her friend did? Sure, but in what way have I brought this up? I told my MIL I was upset with the incident when it happened and that's it.
Let me put it like this, let's assume you are married (not sure if you are or not) and your mother in law had a friend, who you not know and that friend said something along the lines that you are a bad mother or a bad wife. Would you be okay if that mother in-law invited that same friend to an event for you (like a birthday party)? Why would that person need to come to that event if they don't really know you?
Gawd I hate it when men show up at baby showers- I just really hate it- it changes the whole vibe- the only thing i hate more is to hear a man say "we're pregnant" (or a woman for that matter) -but I understand if your BIL"s are going to be there- you do have to be-maybe you can hang out at the bar with them.
Just ignore it but if the friend disrespect you at the shower, put her in her place as nicely as possible. (now don't go nit picking on every silly thing). Congrats on the pregnancy. Hope your wife has a safe delivery.
So a few months ago, I was over my mother in law's place with my wife for a party and one of my MIL friends was there. Well my wife is pregnant and was at the time. She began coughing and I was sitting next to her. She pretty much had been coughing the whole day and so I figured she just needed some water, so I asked her did she need some water? I guess because I didn't jump up and ran to my wife's aid, my MIL's friend took exception and told me I needed to snap out of it (snaps her finger at me) and help her. I was very upset. My BIL and SIL were also offended that the lady said that to me and they told my MIL that they didn't like her friend's attitude. She was basically questioning me as a husband. Finally I told my MIL that I was upset but I understood where it was coming from (her friend in the middle of a marriage separation).
Fast forward to now, my SIL is throwing my wife a baby shower and my MIL wants to bring her friend. Keep in mind that my wife and I don't know this woman a great deal so we only see her through my MIL. With that said, do you think it is disrespectful for my MIL to invite this woman to the baby shower?
Tell your wife to talk to her mother and tell her the woman that insulted you won't be invited. End of story. It's her baby shower, not her mother's. I wouldn't be happy with a rude guest that would make my husband feel uncomfortable, especially if the occasion is to celebrate us.
Congrats on the baby!
Quote:
Originally Posted by exit82
Gawd I hate it when men show up at baby showers- I just really hate it- it changes the whole vibe- the only thing i hate more is to hear a man say "we're pregnant" (or a woman for that matter) -but I understand if your BIL"s are going to be there- you do have to be-maybe you can hang out at the bar with them.
LOL I also find weird that men show up at baby showers but apparently it's becoming common these days.
Last edited by DFWgal; 06-05-2012 at 05:56 PM..
Reason: spelling
Well, if your SIL is the host, it's basically up to her to deal with the situation. How does she feel about having that woman there? Does she even know?
Who is complaining? I just asked if she went too far? Was I upset about what her friend did? Sure, but in what way have I brought this up? I told my MIL I was upset with the incident when it happened and that's it.
Let me put it like this, let's assume you are married (not sure if you are or not) and your mother in law had a friend, who you not know and that friend said something along the lines that you are a bad mother or a bad wife. Would you be okay if that mother in-law invited that same friend to an event for you (like a birthday party)? Why would that person need to come to that event if they don't really know you?
I've learned to leave things like this alone when it comes to extended family. When I was younger I'd get more worked up, but I find the less I address it the quicker it goes away.
Just act nice and let it go. Doesn't matter if what anyone did was right or wrong. Nothing will be gained by harping on it.
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