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I'm missing the big deal here....A couple people were in bed, just had sex, it was good, but, sex is NOT everything. yes, it's a big deal, but not all live for it...I desire conversation, closeness, snuggling, some one can be good in the sack and a cold fish otherwise...
So, then they break up and do so without the drama, move on folks, nothing to see here...
Because so far you sound like a selfish man who thinks too highly of himself.
But please, feel free to correct the impression you'd made on all the women here.
Don't count me in ALL the women here. Personally I would have done the same thing he did. After that much time of being together it is obvious they were not good together. No fault either way in my opinion just a fact of being human. I probably would have walked a lot sooner than he did. At least they did not waste any more of each's others time.
I'm missing the big deal here....A couple people were in bed, just had sex, it was good, but, sex is NOT everything. yes, it's a big deal, but not all live for it...I desire conversation, closeness, snuggling, some one can be good in the sack and a cold fish otherwise...
So, then they break up and do so without the drama, move on folks, nothing to see here...
Exactly. I don't understand why people are more concerned about this relationship than he is, when they don't even know him or this woman. He knows more about this woman than we do. A breakup like this probably didn't come out of the blue. More likely, it was coming: The signs of the relationship falling apart were probably already there; either one or both of them were tiring of one another, and that final night was the last straw. Notice she didn't argue with him/try to stop him when he was walking out, so it's clear to me she was also finished.
And I would agree with you. But we don't have any facts either way.
We will never get the entire story on this forum. I have yet to see the other party come on here and defend him/herself or prove the OP was right all along. All we have to go on is what he said. I think, for some of us, it is more about how he handled it and the picture it paints about him. We don't need all the facts to draw that kind of conclusion. I see a lot of ego.
He said it was great while it lasted. So, (a) it isn't likely she was nagging at him the whole time and (b) that explains the reaction. He wasn't expecting it, he was hurt and he wanted to hurt her in return.
He said she told him her needs weren't being met. It wasn't "You suck in the sack" or "Your weeny is teeny". It was a general statement of her needs not being met. She was being honest. Some people are direct that way. It does him no good to be coddled and not know what is going on.
However, he proceeds to blame her for it. At no point does he own ANY of the reason her needs aren't being met:
"She dumped me. She loves the excitement that comes with a "new relationship".
"She gets bored with her lovers after a certain while...."
"Simple. She dumped me because she's bored and wants a new lover."
"The woman wants the excitement of the new, the flashy, the edge."
"Again, her true need is constant excitement from her lovers, especially that rush of emotion that teases at her life-long fantasies."
"She doesn't have needs, I said that in the opening post. I am a doctor, I deal with people's needs. She's just a rich woman looking for constant excitement."
He has yet to share why he feels this way. Repeating this so much, after being asked why he's saying this and not offering anything to back it just confirms what many of us already deducted.
In addition, not only does he blame her, he completely dismissed that she even has any needs, twice. They are merely desires, so she can do without them. Then he tells her if she had needs, he wouldn't have the time nor the desire to satisfy them. She has no right to complain, no right to anything more than what he deems her worthy of.
No one NEEDS good sex, communication, affection or excitement to live and breathe. So, medically, he is right. But we are not here to just live and breathe. There are, in fact, needs that are vital to our happiness and fulfillment in a relationship, no matter how casual or substantive. And it doesn't take a PhD to know this is what she was referring to. By dismissing her completely, he doesn't have to face the possibility that he failed somehow. The ego at work. Now, she may very well be the type that is never satisfied. But we never know that and neither will he. But all he has shared does speak to his selfishness.
His back peddling doesn't help either:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danbo1957
She broke up with me. Just in a very polite, clean way. Just after a huge orgasm that "she'd been waiting for all day."
So was she or was she not polite? And why mention the orgasm? Clearly, it didn't make a difference. Again, the ego at work.
Quote:
She loved my horses, the trips through the Hill Country, and my veal scallopine. Doctors are reliable, responsible, and practical, ...well "she can find that anywhere".
It's true. There are plenty of reliable, responsible and practical people out there.
Quote:
But when an adult woman says that it's over, it's over-- an adult man agrees.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Danbo1957
Again, relationships evolve and then end. If you get the chance to end it somewhat respectfully, so much the better for all.
Maybe next time, eh? You didn't agree. You insulted her and left. Doesn't sound so neat or respectful to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LexWest
Exactly. I don't understand why people are more concerned about this relationship than he is, when they don't even know him or this woman.
It's a discussion board. If being here required us to care, there would probably be more crickets than posters.
We will never get the entire story on this forum. I have yet to see the other party come on here and defend him/herself or prove the OP was right all along. All we have to go on is what he said. I think, for some of us, it is more about how he handled it and the picture it paints about him. We don't need all the facts to draw that kind of conclusion. I see a lot of ego.
He said it was great while it lasted. So, (a) it isn't likely she was nagging at him the whole time and (b) that explains the reaction. He wasn't expecting it, he was hurt and he wanted to hurt her in return.
He said she told him her needs weren't being met. It wasn't "You suck in the sack" or "Your weeny is teeny". It was a general statement of her needs not being met.
She was being honest. Some people are direct that way. It does him no good to be coddled and not know what is going on.
However, he proceeds to blame her for it. At no point does he own ANY of the reason her needs aren't being met:
"She dumped me. She loves the excitement that comes with a "new relationship".
"She gets bored with her lovers after a certain while...."
"Simple. She dumped me because she's bored and wants a new lover."
"The woman wants the excitement of the new, the flashy, the edge."
"Again, her true need is constant excitement from her lovers, especially that rush of emotion that teases at her life-long fantasies."
"She doesn't have needs, I said that in the opening post. I am a doctor, I deal with people's needs. She's just a rich woman looking for constant excitement."
He has yet to share why he feels this way. Repeating this so much, after being asked why he's saying this and not offering anything to back it just confirms what many of us already deducted.
In addition, not only does he blame her, he completely dismissed that she even has any needs, twice. They are merely desires, so she can do without them. Then he tells her if she had needs, he wouldn't have the time nor the desire to satisfy them. She has no right to complain, no right to anything more than what he deems her worthy of.
No one NEEDS good sex, communication, affection or excitement to live and breathe. So, medically, he is right. But we are not here to just live and breathe. There are, in fact, needs that are vital to our happiness and fulfillment in a relationship, no matter how casual or substantive. And it doesn't take a PhD to know this is what she was referring to. By dismissing her completely, he doesn't have to face the possibility that he failed somehow. The ego at work. Now, she may very well be the type that is never satisfied. But we never know that and neither will he. But all he has shared does speak to his selfishness.
His back peddling doesn't help either:
So was she or was she not polite? And why mention the orgasm? Clearly, it didn't make a difference. Again, the ego at work.
It's true. There are plenty of reliable, responsible and practical people out there.
Maybe next time, eh? You didn't agree. You insulted her and left. Doesn't sound so neat or respectful to me.
EXACTLY what I've been saying too
Thank you for summing up!
Sadly, his ego will get in the way of learning a damn thing from all we've each tried to tell him.
But that's why he'll end up alone without anyone to help change his Depends one day.
It's a discussion board. If being here required us to care, there would probably be more crickets than posters.
This wasn't necessarily directed at you, but it certainly seems as if people are getting worked up over a relationship and people they know nothing about. Besides, regardless of what he should/should not have done, it's water under the bridge at this point, and it wasn't as if the OP was seeking advice.
We will never get the entire story on this forum. I have yet to see the other party come on here and defend him/herself or prove the OP was right all along. All we have to go on is what he said. I think, for some of us, it is more about how he handled it and the picture it paints about him. We don't need all the facts to draw that kind of conclusion. I see a lot of ego.
Dr. Danbo,
Do ask this real estate agent to chime in, it would be most interesting to see if she agreed that you executed a sophisticated, mature, professional, clean break-up, as you feel you did.
There have been a good number of assumptions made in this thread that took on a life on its own based on those assumptions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Sadly, his ego will get in the way of learning a damn thing from all we've each tried to tell him.
I'm not looking for a long-term relationship, and I date those women who feel the same. And as I have mentioned before, I always date three or four women at any particular stretch of time. I never lie to them about exclusivity.
Most posters on this board seem to be young with much of their lives ahead. Relationships during that period have the added weight of expectations (companionship, marriage, children, house and home, etc.)
I am at the time of life where I want a woman who lives in the moment, enjoys what she's earned, and values a man who's the same. Again, I just found the unique ending of this relationship worth noting; I have had my share of "bad endings " as well, of which I don't care to tell.
This is a relationship between 2 50-something people. People that age generally know what the are looking for. And it sounds to me to be a pretty mutual thing. On one hand you have a woman who is got 'getting her needs met'. On the other you have a man who at this point in his life is just not willing to meet said needs. So the result is a split. I doubt either party is losing sleep.
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But we are not here to just live and breathe. There are, in fact, needs that are vital to our happiness and fulfillment in a relationship, no matter how casual or substantive. And it doesn't take a PhD to know this is what she was referring to. By dismissing her completely, he doesn't have to face the possibility that he failed somehow. The ego at work. Now, she may very well be the type that is never satisfied. But we never know that and neither will he. But all he has shared does speak to his selfishness. 
