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Just a forewarning that this post is a bit lengthy - thanks to anyone that actually reads the whole thing.
I met this guy randomly a few weeks back – we had a connection and the feelings were definitely mutual (not sure if just friendly at the time, but the conversation flowed so well considering we had just met). We mutually agreed to meet up again. Never really specified what it was – we both called it a “get together” if that helps. But anyway we planned to meet up after work one day for drinks - just the two of us.
He came straight after work and was dressed super nice. I recently quit my job and am actively job hunting, but didn’t want to look too casual when meeting him, so wore a typical work dress. The conversation flowed really well. We chatted over a few drinks and an appetizer and talked for over 2 and a half hours.
As a side note, this meeting actually took a long time to coordinate. So after I was out of town, then he was out of town, then I was out of town again – so it was definitely a month ish since our initial meeting, and the fact he even followed through is a good sign, right?
When the bill came, I didn’t know if he was expecting us to split it or if he’d pay (it wasn’t clear from our initial meeting what exactly this was…). So he put down his credit card, and I pulled out my wallet, and he said “I’ve got it covered” and I said “Are you sure?” and he said “yeah” and joked, “when you land your new job you can buy me a drink.” So I thought maybe that was a way of hinting that we would in fact meet up again.
After he paid the bill he asked if I would be interested in joining him at his place for a get together with some friends this weekend. I said yeah sure that sounds like it would be a lot of fun. He said great – and that he would follow up soon with more details since he has my info. He said he had fun (I said I was glad we got together, had a good time too, etc), gave me a hug and then we went our separate ways.
So I guess my first question is (as stupid as it may sound) – I felt like this was a date, but was it? (I haven’t been on any before this, so have nothing to compare it to)
Second, it’s been 5/6 days since we met and tomorrow is Saturday and no word about upcoming weekend plans – is that a bad sign that he didn't follow up yet? I figure if he isn’t interested, he could have just left it all vague at “see you around” instead of inviting me over this weekend (although, if he means to, I haven’t heard anything yet and it’s already Friday?) – so I don’t really know if he’s just not interested anymore or plans things last minute.
Could I have misread these signs and the date didn’t go as smoothly as I thought? Or am I just over thinking everything given my lack of experience? I would really appreciate any input – thanks in advance.
Last edited by theonion77; 06-08-2012 at 05:29 PM..
It doesn't sound to me like it was a date, especially since he asked you over for a 'get together'. Most of the guys I know who are dating a girl won't introduce them to their friends for a while.
If he was interested, he would have made contact by now. Sounds to me you've been ladyfriend-zoned.
It sounds like he likes you but something may have come up. As hard as it will be, don't try to contact him. Just find things to distract yourself. Take any job you can find (and still respect yourself). Mostly that's for you, but guys these days feel more comfortable when their women are gainfully employed.
I don't know hat the future holds, but you won't be wrong to continue living your life and being productive. If he calls again, then you'll have been intriguingly busy.
Hard to say, but my guess is he's interested. He'll probably let you know last minute (which he shouldn't do), at which point you could teach him a lesson and say you made other plans because you didn't hear back from him. That will tell you right away if he's interested.
All you can do is wait and see. Not much of an answer, but that's reality. Maybe the get-together didn't happen or got postponed. Occupy yourself with something else, so you won't go crazy waiting for that call.
idk, if he paid, it was a date. If he dressed super nice, and you dressed nice, it was a date. Does that really matter? Whether it was or not, you're still left hanging re: the weekend get-together with friends. Actually, meeting his friends wouldn't be a bad idea, because you can learn a lot about a person by observing their friends.
I did the read the whole thing and I get this feeling that it's possible that he could be married. Not saying he is, but keep your eyes open and I've had experiences like this where I was invited for something and didn't hear from him and then found out that he was married.
Thanks for all the input so far. Yeah, definitely thought he was interested initially but the lack of a follow up is a big red flag for me. Even if he's not seeing someone else, that could just be a sign that he's a flake (and I don't need one of those). I'll definitely keep my eyes open...
Thanks for all the input so far. Yeah, definitely thought he was interested initially but the lack of a follow up is a big red flag for me. Even if he's not seeing someone else, that could just be a sign that he's a flake (and I don't need one of those). I'll definitely keep my eyes open...
Although I'm onboard with the, where the heck is the communication? But I had dates that didn't want to seem overly anxious. They waited a week. But you don't know what is going on in his life? Plus in the beginning they don't owe you a thing or do you. If they want you they will come around. If they don't move on. Not many men like the beginning small talk. Nor do some women. Yet it is exciting and nerve racking in the beginning.He made plans with you, big plus. He dressed up (I'm impressed),he paid(a plus), willing to look over your joblessness, although I did think he jumped the gun with inviting you to a type of social event alreaady. Don't be that woman who waits. Do your life like he never came and he might surprise you. Good luck.
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