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She kept her father's secret a secret. The moment she saw him, she was implicated, whether or not she wanted to be, and by keeping his secret a secret, she made a decision.
It was a bad, bad decision.
She is not out of the picture.
Sometimes we don't want to be part of something, but circumstances THROW US into things. We don't ask to be implicated, and we are. Once we are, and if we are adults, our behavior becomes accountable.
For example, the witness to a crime might wish a thousand times he/she had not witnessed the crime. But if he/she keeps silent, the law will not view him/her in a kindly, forgiving manner.
The relationship between parents and children, even adult children, cannot be compared to any others - especially situations involving crimes of any kind.
These are very complicated relationships and decisions to act or not act in certain situations can have life long ramifications to the emotional health of all involved.
I feel sure Kudzu's daughter did what she thought was right for her mother and family.
At the end of the day, that's what we all have to do - follow our conscience.
She does not deserve to judged by you or anyone, including her own mother.
Her father put her in a terrible situation, one that there was not going to be a good outcome from. She likely chose what she thought was the lessor or two evils.
So you're telling me if one of your parents were beating on the other you'd stay out of it because the relationship between parents and children is like no other?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
The relationship between parents and children, even adult children, cannot be compared to any others - especially situations involving crimes of any kind.
These are very complicated relationships and decisions to act or not act in certain situations can have life long ramifications to the emotional health of all involved.
I feel sure Kudzu's daughter did what she thought was right for her mother and family.
At the end of the day, that's what we all have to do - follow our conscience.
She does not deserve to judged by you or anyone, including her own mother.
Her father put her in a terrible situation, one that there was not going to be a good outcome from. She likely chose what she thought was the lessor or two evils.
She kept her father's secret a secret. The moment she saw him, she was implicated, whether or not she wanted to be, and by keeping his secret a secret, she made a decision.
It was a bad, bad decision.
She is not out of the picture.
Sometimes we don't want to be part of something, but circumstances THROW US into things. We don't ask to be implicated, and we are. Once we are, and if we are adults, our behavior becomes accountable.
For example, the witness to a crime might wish a thousand times he/she had not witnessed the crime. But if he/she keeps silent, the law will not view him/her in a kindly, forgiving manner.
We don't have laws against cheating (which is a crying shame if you ask me) or against bad relationship dynamics so using crime and it's corresponding laws is not a good example.
Children, even adult ones, are in a precarious situation when placed in the middle of parents problems, because they love them both, don't want to have to choose between the two and are CONFUSED. It's best to just keep them out of it.
It is about envy about seduction. I have studied words all my life and the term seduction is not fully understood. In the animal kingdom- Two creatures will pair up- most for life...seduction does not mean that the seducer is in need of sex- or wants to pair up with the already mated male or female...Seduction means to "draw away" To take measures that separate a pair- to destroy union...It is a strange phenomena....once the seducer has separated the mating pair- They are rarely interested in taking the position of the displaced mate. It's simply a destructive evil act.
Woman and some men are prone to the power of flattery>>>I have seen a man seduce another's wife simply by saying " You are very special and I BELIEVE in you" - ALSO the term faithful or unfaithful have little to do with sex- When a man is unfaithful- or a woman is unfaithful..It means they have lost or given up FAITH in the person as a person..
Now the "different" sex part- that is a myth....sex and the quality of it can be attained anywhere...with anybody...and most think that the wonderful feeling of sex is LOVE- most married couples are not in a state of true love- True love would be if the man lost his penis and the woman's vagina disappeared- and they still want to be with each other- that is true love- add some sex to that and you are in heaven.
The reason there is so much cheating and divorce is people after all this time do not find love ever. A woman might say "Joe I am leaving you - I can't help it I have fallen in love with Bill"- same for the man- They have not fallen in love- they are lower than dumb animals...they will give up a relationship with a history all for that fleeting feeling that is like morphine...it's a chemical reaction that has little to do with love or logic.
So you're telling me if one of your parents were beating on the other you'd stay out of it because the relationship between parents and children is like no other?
Let it go honey, I am not interested in arguing with you.
Violence against anyone is never okay, I think we all know that.
And yes, I get that you are saying he beat Kudzu up emotionally, but it's not the same thing.
The only two people who ever know what truly goes on in a marriage and why it is or isn't working are the two people in the marriage. Because of that, issues need to stay between the two involved. And like I have stated numerous times already, the daughter thought she was doing the right thing, and nobody here has the right to criticize that.
Well, sure, lots of things aren't illegal, but they are wrong and extremely harmful nonetheless.
Minor children can be put in precarious situations.
Adult children, however, are responsible for their behavior and choices. If they choose to keep secrets for the misdeeds of one parent, that's a choice they make and which they are then responsible for.
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
We don't have laws against cheating (which is a crying shame if you ask me) or against bad relationship dynamics so using crime and it's corresponding laws is not a good example.
Children, even adult ones, are in a precarious situation when placed in the middle of parents problems, because they love them both, don't want to have to choose between the two and are CONFUSED. It's best to just keep them out of it.
I couldn't disagree with you more. Again, the daughter was thrown into this through no fault of her own, but once she began to guard and keep the secret of her father's violence against the mother, she became wholly responsible for her behavior and choices. It was a wrong thing she did. If she's living with this on her conscience, good. I doubt she is though, or she'd have nipped this in the bud 3 years ago.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Let it go honey, I am not interested in arguing with you.
Violence against anyone is never okay, I think we all know that.
And yes, I get that you are saying he beat Kudzu up emotionally, but it's not the same thing.
The only two people who ever know what truly goes on in a marriage and why it is or isn't working are the two people in the marriage. Because of that, issues need to stay between the two involved. And like I have stated numerous times already, the daughter thought she was doing the right thing, and nobody here has the right to criticize that.
It is about envy about seduction. I have studied words all my life and the term seduction is not fully understood. In the animal kingdom- Two creatures will pair up- most for life...seduction does not mean that the seducer is in need of sex- or wants to pair up with the already mated male or female...Seduction means to "draw away" To take measures that separate a pair- to destroy union...It is a strange phenomena....once the seducer has separated the mating pair- They are rarely interested in taking the position of the displaced mate. It's simply a destructive evil act.
Oh I think some people do want to take the position of the displaced mate. It happens.
Quote:
Woman and some men are prone to the power of flattery>>>I have seen a man seduce another's wife simply by saying " You are very special and I BELIEVE in you" - ALSO the term faithful or unfaithful have little to do with sex- When a man is unfaithful- or a woman is unfaithful..It means they have lost or given up FAITH in the person as a person..
Which person are you talking about - their spouse - and what do you mean they have lost faith in the person?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saritaschihuahua
Well, sure, lots of things aren't illegal, but they are wrong and extremely harmful nonetheless.
Minor children can be put in precarious situations.
Adult children, however, are responsible for their behavior and choices. If they choose to keep secrets for the misdeeds of one parent, that's a choice they make and which they are then responsible for.
That you can type such a thing proves that you have never experienced real violence in your life, which makes you a lucky person. Don't go lording that over other people as you are doing here. You don't know what violence actually is.
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