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So we went out a week ago; he called me the next day, then 2 days later, then 3 days later to ask me out (left message), then the next day left a message, then the next day we talked and arranged a next date. So he's interested and we see each other again in 3 days.
But then why is he logging onto match.com every day?
(and yes, on the one hand I know I shouldn't check, but on the other hand I'm glad I know, I basically just peek once a day to see if he's been on and he's on a lot, what do people do all that time on match? are they just searching around or are they emailing or what?)
No offense but I think it's kind of a bad sign on YOUR part that you're match stalking him after only a couple dates. It's tough when you really hit it off with someone to think that they're still seeing other people, but really until you have a talk and decide to be exclusive he is free to be on match and to date others. If I were you I'd just try to relax and see what happens. Obviously he is interested in you if he's calling and planning more dates. Enjoy each date and try not to over analyze things too much. If there's someone else you're interested in then you should feel free to see other people as well. And if in a few weeks you think things are going well you can always bring up not seeing others, but I'd wait it out for now. If you come on too strong you might scare him away completely.
No offense but I think it's kind of a bad sign on YOUR part that you're match stalking him after only a couple dates. It's tough when you really hit it off with someone to think that they're still seeing other people, but really until you have a talk and decide to be exclusive he is free to be on match and to date others. If I were you I'd just try to relax and see what happens. Obviously he is interested in you if he's calling and planning more dates. Enjoy each date and try not to over analyze things too much. If there's someone else you're interested in then you should feel free to see other people as well. And if in a few weeks you think things are going well you can always bring up not seeing others, but I'd wait it out for now. If you come on too strong you might scare him away completely.
Yes, I mean, I am partly posting here just to keep my head in check. I am glad to know he is on match because things seemed, in their own way, to be moving very fast (not physically, but we seemed to be having kind of a soul mate thing). So I'm glad to know he's on match, I'm not intending to stalk, but am just curious, just find it kind of curious. He technically called me like 5 days out of 8 (a couple were messages with some texts to coordinate call times), so something seems ... to be happening. But then he's on match all the time. And I'm trying not to get carried away, but it seems like a really unusually strong connection.
It's still really early in the relationship. He is on match to keep his options open in case something else would spark up. Maybe he'd pursue that. Have you guys stated exclusivity?
Oh no, not AT ALL. But something just happened. Right out of the gate it was like ... all of the places we needed to go together, restaurants we needed to try. (And we're not, you know, kids, we know what we're doing ...).
Oh no, not AT ALL. But something just happened. Right out of the gate it was like ... all of the places we needed to go together, restaurants we needed to try. (And we're not, you know, kids, we know what we're doing ...).
That happens quite a few times though. I'm not saying he's not super into you and wants to do those things, but making those suggestions/statements so early on doesn't exactly imply soulmates, but excitement.
Yes, I mean, I am partly posting here just to keep my head in check. I am glad to know he is on match because things seemed, in their own way, to be moving very fast (not physically, but we seemed to be having kind of a soul mate thing). So I'm glad to know he's on match, I'm not intending to stalk, but am just curious, just find it kind of curious. He technically called me like 5 days out of 8 (a couple were messages with some texts to coordinate call times), so something seems ... to be happening. But then he's on match all the time. And I'm trying not to get carried away, but it seems like a really unusually strong connection.
Oh trust me, I'm the same way. I always over analyze things and try to figure out where things are headed. Are you on match as well? I'd stay off of there unless you're on there looking for other options too. I'd just enjoy the moment for now and not worry about what he's doing on there. I have gotten really crushed a few times with online dating getting excited about a few wonderful first dates only to be disappointed a few weeks later when these guys turned out to be all talk. Don't set yourself up to be hurt like that. Be excited, enjoy his company, but do not get ahead of yourself this early.
Thanks, yes I'm not on match, I just (aaah, I sound like such a stalker), just set up enough of a profile to see who is on there, did this a few years ago, not traceable.
btw, he just called me again last night, I was asleep, he left a message.
For what it's worth, I fit his "match" thing pretty much 100%.
That happens quite a few times though. I'm not saying he's not super into you and wants to do those things, but making those suggestions/statements so early on doesn't exactly imply soulmates, but excitement.
I had a first date on Friday with someone I had been facebook friends with for a few years but never met (we had started talking on the phone, really hit it off). It was like a "10", and the entire time he was talking about places we should try, places we should go together, we closed the restaurant ... and then he called me the next day (I was leaving town for 2 days) and he told me to let him know as soon as I made it back. And he had followed up on all kinds of things we had talked about, places, people, ... he had charted my trip and had suggestions for the route I should take, ... and kept talking about events in town generally ("oh there's this thing every summer") and I was like "great"!
Then last night I texted him that I was home from my trip and he said (texted) to call if I was up for it, if not another night. And I called and it was a good conversation, but no future plans, no places in town, no summer events, just a run through of what was going on .... It was somewhat distant ... I don't know what I possibly could have done wrong, there's no way I came off as too pushy, and he also couldn't be interpreting me as not interested because I followed through, called him back Saturday and last night ... and I know he was interested, his face lit up when he first saw me ...
My first thought as a suspicious older woman who has in her 64 years seen a lot of situations similar to this one...perhaps he is married or already with someone? He was curious as to what you really looked like and wanted to meet you; the lure of the danger of him perhaps getting caught by his fiance, wife, significant other, etc. was more than he could stand so he made the arrangements for you two to meet. He finds out that you are actually pretty awesome and now finds himself in the predicament of not wanting to hurt a nice person and getting his private parts rearranged by his fiance, wife, significant other...etc. So...he is now backing down from you gradually so as not to hurt you with a BANG..just a little kick in your butt to knock the wind out of you. Anyway you cut it deceitful on his part. My advice..RUN. I simply just don't trust meeting men/women online and find that it is the perfect place to "cheat" on a partner and dump the person you use as your pawn. I would say you didn't do anything wrong. It was him.
My first thought as a suspicious older woman who has in her 64 years seen a lot of situations similar to this one...perhaps he is married or already with someone? He was curious as to what you really looked like and wanted to meet you; the lure of the danger of him perhaps getting caught by his fiance, wife, significant other, etc. was more than he could stand so he made the arrangements for you two to meet. He finds out that you are actually pretty awesome and now finds himself in the predicament of not wanting to hurt a nice person and getting his private parts rearranged by his fiance, wife, significant other...etc. So...he is now backing down from you gradually so as not to hurt you with a BANG..just a little kick in your butt to knock the wind out of you. Anyway you cut it deceitful on his part. My advice..RUN. I simply just don't trust meeting men/women online and find that it is the perfect place to "cheat" on a partner and dump the person you use as your pawn. I would say you didn't do anything wrong. It was him.
Oh no, nothing like that and it's all evolved since my first post. We're going out again in 2 days and he's well known in our city, he's totally legit. Big time legit, holds some important positions, etc.
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