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Get me her number, I'll take out a girl like that.
It sounds like you're both just looking for two different things.. I wouldn't call you wrong or her wrong. You need to ask yourself if that's what you want, because it's not fair for you to ask her to change her personality.
Get me her number, I'll take out a girl like that.
It sounds like you're both just looking for two different things.. I wouldn't call you wrong or her wrong. You need to ask yourself if that's what you want, because it's not fair for you to ask her to change her personality.
2) She works clothing retail, I'm an Engineer. We both work full time and are out of college.
3) The attraction to her is her personality, humor, and fun factor. Our senses of humor are spot on. There has been constant laughter since date one. I do agree with the above reply that suggests we can compliment each other. She gets me out to do things I normally wouldn't do, while I keep her focused on some of the more serious things in life.
All of the replies are much appreciated
ha! I could have guessed you were an engineer (or similar) too! Don't forget that some of your personality traits probably seem pretty quirky to her to
I do agree that I don't want either of us to change who we are. There is definitely compromise, but there shouldn't be change. My concern was more that I'm inexperienced in serious relationships and didn't know if the things that were happening should be considered massive red flags for our future.
No one is perfect or going to have everything that you want. You just need to ask yourself if these are things you can live with or not. I think the thing that bothers me most is how little time you spend together after a year. That isn't much and it wouldn't be enough for me to feel happy and fulfilled. I think sometimes it can become a big issue when one person is constantly busy and out socializing while the other person prefers quiet nights at home. That said, there can be a compromise if both people are willing to give a little. After a year I think it's time to really think about how big of a deal these things are.
I wouldn't call anything a "massive" red flag. Like, she's not secretly a drug addict, or cheating on you, or anything.
You're both young. Give yourselves time to grow. Sometimes the people we're drawn to in our 20's look completely different from the perspective of our 30's. If you get along great otherwise, give this some time to mature. You have all the time in the world. See how it goes over time.
edit: I agree with kiki, the lack of togetherness is odd. Overall, it sounds like she's not ready to settle down, and you are. That might be a yellow flag. Keep it in mind as you watch how things progress. You are allowed to state your needs and preferences. You could try that, and see what her reaction is. Does she make a sincere effort to accommodate you? Does she really hear what you're saying and take it to heart? Or is she too much into being a social butterfly, and can't get a grip on that? Mature couples talk things out and work things out. Give it a shot. See what happens.
Just a thought, since this issue has come up a lot on this forum. Does she enjoy sex? Could the 10 hrs./week limit be a way to avoid intimacy? You don't want to end up being one of those guys who complains his SO has him on a once-a-week schedule.
it's normal for her floridaU.....as for are you putting up with too much....that really depends on you and if you feel she's worth it or not...weigh the pros and the cons in your mind...see which one wins out...though after reading your above post it sounds to me like you get along really well....and maybe these other things she does that bother you so.... might really be worth overlooking...you DO sound good for her...and she DOES sound good for you....that's better, and more than some people ever get....I'd just accept that it's who she is, and continue to stay in love.....
2) She works clothing retail, I'm an Engineer. We both work full time and are out of college.
3) The attraction to her is her personality, humor, and fun factor. Our senses of humor are spot on. There has been constant laughter since date one. I do agree with the above reply that suggests we can compliment each other. She gets me out to do things I normally wouldn't do, while I keep her focused on some of the more serious things in life.
All of the replies are much appreciated
It might be that she balances your.. um,.. engineery-ness, or it may be that her lateness, which is a form of controlling others and self centeredness, is the tip of the iceberg, and as time goes on she will drive you nuts.
As someone else said...sounds like an imbalance in maturity level.
I do agree that I don't want either of us to change who we are. There is definitely compromise, but there shouldn't be change. My concern was more that I'm inexperienced in serious relationships and didn't know if the things that were happening should be considered massive red flags for our future.
Speak for yourself I do Aerospace Engineering hahah
In a sense, yes they are red flags but not because she's a bad person or weird.. just because you two are very different people. Not telling you to end it, which you shouldn't now because you guys seem to get along well, but I just don't think these situations usually end well.
You need to decide if that's what you really want and if you want to deal with her personality.. nothing more, nothing less. If you're not getting what you want out of the relationship then she's not for you. There's always someone else out there who is better looking and will treat you better. If you're happy with what you got then don't worry about that, if you aren't content there's someone else out there.
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