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You are at a point when you need to decide if you can live with some of these unique traits of hers.
Based on all your posts, it sounds like your biggest concern is her use of time, and apparent lack of respect in how she treats your time.
That to me is a red flag. Not insurmountable. However, she is not likely to immediately or quickly change. She is a free spirit, and by the sounds of things, very spontaneous with her time. It causes her to struggle to keep to a schedule and set plans. If she cannot compromise some, and you some, to meet somewhere in the middle, I think this issue will continue to eat away at you, based on your posts.
I can feel for you somewhat too. I am a definate scheduler. I like to know what and when I am doing things in advance, to plan out my day. I don't carry a daytimer, but if I know in general what I will need to do and when, I can fit in other things around it. My wife is the opposite. She is a terrible planner, and just kind of does things spur of the moment. She forgets obligations because of this, or is late to them.
We have compromised on it. She likes that I can help keep her on schedule and task with obligations she makes and needs to be to. I remain open to doing things spur of the moment, and at her pace, when a big obligation isn't scheduled. Seems to mostly work well for us. At least to the point neither of us feel stressed or disrespected.
I'm in my mid 20's and in my first real relationship (1 year in). What I want to ask is "Am I putting up with too much, or is this "balance" normal in a relationship?" Here are my issues:
1) She's always late and very disorganized. I'm talking 15-45 mins late for everything. Whether it's date night or an appointment, she's late. One of the problems has been that I feel like a parent instead of boyfriend at times because I need to constantly remind her of basic things.
2) She's extremely social, while I'm introverted. When I say extreme, I mean to the point of meeting a random stranger and going for coffee with them 15 mins later. Because of this, she has a need to socialize which impacts our relationship in a negative way. Since meeting, I am the one who changes their schedule to make time. My week is built around her plans. Every week. On average, we get less than 10 hours of time together. I think it's important that we have personal time with friends/hobbies…etc, but it's to the point where it's like I have to make an appointment a week out to see her. We've have talked about this. She agrees with me, but hasn't changed as much as I would like.
3) She's naive when it comes to peoples intentions and her own safety.
4) She's focused more on travel/other things over setting up a foundation and career. Not that this is bad, it's just I'm way more career focused and driven to have a financially comfortable life.
With all of this said, we very much love each other. I just hate that I'm stressed out a lot. When we do get time together it's amazing. I would like to know if all of this above is common for a relationship, or am I putting up with too much?
You sound like fundamental opposites, and while that's cool for attraction, it's not at all good for the long haul.
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