'I just want to take care of my man' (wife, girlfriends, married)
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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Say a woman with a lot of modern, independent girlfriends said the above to her group of friends while they were sipping cocktails or something at some hip, urbane cocktail lounge, the type Carrie and co would be seen at.
What do you think the reaction would be?
Would she be ridiculed as a 1950s housewife type?
Do a lot of women ridicule the idea of loving your man enough to want to take care of him?
Make what you will of the statement 'take care of him.' It doesn't necessarily mean waiting on him hand and foot and treating him like you're his mother, but it could to someone. It could also mean just being there emotionally, doing nice things, making sure that person is happy and doing okay (within your abilities of course. not say making their happiness your RESPONSIBILITY). I.e. focusing on what you give to the other. I'm sure both men and women could do more of it.
Let's say the lady who said this was reasonably educated and did not come from a super-conservative background.
Please don't take this post to say that's MY ideal in a woman. I mean sure, I'd like to be taken care of, but no more or differently to how I take care of her. I want a reciprocal arrangement and certainly do not EXPECT a woman to pander or pamper me, although I would like it if she sort of 'took care of me' in a way, not as a child or a dependent but as a loved one.
Say a woman with a lot of modern, independent girlfriends said the above to her group of friends while they were sipping cocktails or something at some hip, urbane cocktail lounge, the type Carrie and co would be seen at.
What do you think the reaction would be?
The reaction would vary depending on the particular personalities, experiences, demographics and attitudes of each individual involved in the conversation, of course. This is a question without an answer.
It's sort of normal for couples to want to take care of each other, but whether or not it's a topic for bar talk on girls night out...what's your point? Is this something that educated women don't want to do, or is it not considered modern? Exactly what does one do in an established relationship? I think you more or less answered your own question.
Doesn't reek of independence to me. With that said, most womens self esteem is enforced by having a man, whereas a mans self esteem is derived from his career, the ability to slay the dragons.
Me, I always took care of myself and "shared" my life with a man, not take care of a man.
When I am partnered I view my SO as part of my life. I have his back and he has mine. But, no the words "I just want to take care of my man" would not leave my lips ever, because there is so much more to life than just being someone else's support system. I will go to extremes to help the one I'm with, but they're never going to be my sole focus, and I would not want to be theirs. Balance - it's all about balance.
Please don't take this post to say that's MY ideal in a woman. I mean sure, I'd like to be taken care of, but no more or differently to how I take care of her. I want a reciprocal arrangement and certainly do not EXPECT a woman to pander or pamper me, although I would like it if she sort of 'took care of me' in a way, not as a child or a dependent but as a loved one.
Do a lot of women ridicule the idea of loving your man enough to want to take care of him?
This statement is skewed. I love my husband very much indeed but have no interest to "take care of him." Nor do I have an interest in him "taking care" of me. Exceptions would be during illness. If he was an invalid, I would take care of him. For me, parents are the ones "taking care" of children. Married people should be in a committed and loving relationship, but they should take care of themselves.
I would never be attracted to a man who wanted to "take care of me." I'm independent, have my own career and would regard any guy saying this as being very sexist and wanting a stay-at-home wife-- pregnant and baking oatmeal cookies. No thanks.
The irony is that feminism stresses women can do whatever they want, but if a woman wants to stay home and be a housewife she's "doing it wrong". Which is it? If you're allowed to make your own choices, why are some of those choices less valuable than others?
Unless I'm paying someone else's bills, I could care less what they do. It's only when I have some financial responsibility that their decisions impact me whatsoever.
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