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Old 06-17-2012, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Leaving Montana for good...
227 posts, read 435,327 times
Reputation: 257

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Ok, need input on the politeness and best first impression about this situation. I've been talking with this new gal on met on okcupid for about a week and we agreed for a simple coffee and chat for our first meeting at a local coffee and book shop.

The gal seems real nice but wether due to her lack of computer savory, *she says she poor at computers in general and would rather be outside* unfamiliar with how often to check email message or just lack of dating experience but the few emails we've sent back and forth has resulted in her responding to my emails within one to two days, even right up to the point were we were discussing were and went to meet for the first time, I sent her a reply stating were we should meet up this Friday and I JUST got a reply back from her this Sunday morning indicating that would work fine. She has not given me her phone number during this time, I gave her mine as an option

However, my dilemma is that on Friday is I started getting some signs that I got a cold and by Sat I had the full congestion, achey body feeling and now coughing this morning. I've done best I could to get better over weekend but its still lingering with me

Swallowing my pride, I felt it best and most polite to tell her that I was sick and we should reschedule so I don't get her sick so I sent an email this morning indicating that. I unfortuantely can only communicate with her via email and her track record suggests she likely won't read her emails before tonights meeting

So this begs the questions, if I don't hear back from her, do I clean up best I can and still meet up with her and state up front that im sick and ask if she would prefer to reschedule or go ahead and with our first date so I can show my sincerity in being polite and prevent her from being stood up even though its not MY FAULT she doesn't check her message often?

Or should I take high road and not show up if I don't hear back from her, let her go to meeting place, wait for me, feel stood up and wait to hear back from her after she reads earlier message?

This of course is all negated if she does read my message and replies before tonight but im wondering the best proper and polite way to go about this for worst case scenario
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Old 06-17-2012, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Planet Earth, USA
1,705 posts, read 2,153,589 times
Reputation: 3482
Take some medicine, clean up, dress comfortable and wait near by. If you can sit in your car and still be close that would be cool.

If she shows up, let her know that you sent her an email but didn't want to stand her up. Keep it short but stay for a little bit.

Who knows, you might feel better after you're there.

If she shows up or not, tell her it would be best if you can have her number so this doesn't happen again.
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Old 06-17-2012, 11:05 AM
 
20,543 posts, read 18,789,772 times
Reputation: 48257
I am so confused. Is the date last Friday, this Friday, or tonight? It is Sunday where you are, right?

Quote:
I sent her a reply stating were we should meet up this Friday and I JUST got a reply back from her this Sunday morning indicating that would work fine. She has not given me her phone number during this time, I gave her mine as an option

However, my dilemma is that on Friday is I started getting some signs that I got a cold and by Sat I had the full congestion, achey body feeling and now coughing this morning. I've done best I could to get better over weekend but its still lingering with me

Swallowing my pride, I felt it best and most polite to tell her that I was sick and we should reschedule so I don't get her sick so I sent an email this morning indicating that. I unfortuantely can only communicate with her via email and her track record suggests she likely won't read her emails before tonights meeting
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Old 06-17-2012, 11:11 AM
 
35,203 posts, read 41,249,242 times
Reputation: 51244
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1ceTr0n View Post
This of course is all negated if she does read my message and replies before tonight but im wondering the best proper and polite way to go about this for worst case scenario
I would never have planned anything at all, before talking on the phone. I don't why anyone does this.
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Old 06-17-2012, 11:17 AM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
39,411 posts, read 44,704,199 times
Reputation: 50203
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
I would never have planned anything at all, before talking on the phone. I don't why anyone does this.
New time, new generation. Dating by text message. Works for me... keeps it short and sweet.
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Old 06-17-2012, 11:17 AM
 
Location: Middle America
37,416 posts, read 49,711,870 times
Reputation: 52925
It's just a cold. I'd suck it up and go, if I were interested in meeting the person. I'm not sure, from your post, if you are that interested, though. I'd personally take it as a GOOD sign that somebody's not glued to the internet, but that's just me.

At any rate, I definitely wouldn't bail without making for-sure contact with the person, beyond just "Well, I left you a message." Cancelling plans should never be done via message, IMO, unless it is a true emergency. If it's just a cold, and you can't contact her directly, I'd suck it up and show up, since you already made the commitment. Being stood up truly sucks, and doing it to somebody because you have a cold is pretty lame.
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Old 06-17-2012, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Leaving Montana for good...
227 posts, read 435,327 times
Reputation: 257
Ok, luckily she got my message and told me to feel better so hopefully I get a round 2 attempt at this. Just never met someone who desires not to be on computer if they don't have to be and would rather be outside. Makes me wonder if this is even a good idea with this gal considering our apparent big lifestyle differences.

But my local profile is pretty straight up about who I and what I like to do, so guess if she didn't like what she read or saw about me, she wouldn't have bothered to reply back to my first message to her or said no thanks, not interested like the other girls have
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Old 06-17-2012, 03:39 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 32,584,952 times
Reputation: 19770
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1ceTr0n View Post
Ok, luckily she got my message and told me to feel better so hopefully I get a round 2 attempt at this. Just never met someone who desires not to be on computer if they don't have to be and would rather be outside. Makes me wonder if this is even a good idea with this gal considering our apparent big lifestyle differences.

But my local profile is pretty straight up about who I and what I like to do, so guess if she didn't like what she read or saw about me, she wouldn't have bothered to reply back to my first message to her or said no thanks, not interested like the other girls have
Did she give you her number in case this happened again?
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Old 06-17-2012, 03:47 PM
 
Location: Leaving Montana for good...
227 posts, read 435,327 times
Reputation: 257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
Did she give you her number in case this happened again?
Nope, I even gave mine willingly as an option. So she's either well gaurded, not that interested, just being nice or not that familiar with the dating scene, I honestly don't know
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Old 06-17-2012, 03:53 PM
 
2,886 posts, read 5,421,010 times
Reputation: 1882
Maybe she doesn't want to give you her number until after the first date and that is if it goes well.
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