Romantic Trip turned into a Hoilday from Hell (boyfriend, women, husband)
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This probably isn't as serious as some issues on here but i hope you guys can help me cause its really started to just effect my whole life.
During the summer I met a woman from Sweden here in Ireland during her hoildays, she was with her friend and i was with mine. My friend and her friend had got together during that first night but me and this girl just talked and talked about our lifes the lows and highs and we hung out all night held hands and just enjoyed each others company . I'm 27 she's 20 but I've never met a woman like her ever she was so easy going and i just felt at ease with her. I taught after that night i wouldn't hear from her again but my friend rang me two nights later that they wanted to meet up with us again. I was over the moon as i really wanted to see her again plus i've never been this popular with many women in my life so it was nice someone wanted to see me. That night we drank a little, we talked, i held her hand and i taught to myself i make a move in to kiss. She stopped me and told me She had a boyfriend. But she told me she was going to break up with him as he wasn't nice to her (Her friend told me the same later on that night). I taught okay another great girl got away but she wanted us to hang out again for the rest of the week in which we did. During the last night she gave me her phone number, added me on facebook and started to tell me i was the guy she always wanted and kissed me for a while . She told me to keep in touch when she left.
So for three months we kept in touch by phone and facebook, telling me every week she missed me and was dreaming every night of me been with her. I really fell for this girl at the time . On Webcam she was doing some stripping and mild sexual stuff for me and She kept telling me she would dump her boyfriend. My friend and Her friend had decided to set up a trip to Sweden for the middle of November for a romantic week. So she decided to ask me would i like to come over to vist her and seen as we were getting along so well and that she would dump her Boyfriend i said yeah. She tells me I won't regret a thing and would say we would have great sex together and that she wanted to spend as much time with me as possible. I paid of the flight (No Refunds) and the Hotel instead of a cheaper Hostel so are respective girls could get in too cause the hostels wouldn't allow it in Sweden this all coming to 600 euro. Expensive for a student but i taught it be worth it just to see her.
Then trouble started, last week she stopped calling and txting me for a few days. She told me she was going to break up with her boyfriend and was looking for a job so she could save and vist me in Dublin during the easter break. So I taught she be pretty busy so i leave her alone. 5 days went by and i saw that she was on facebook and i decided just to ask her how she was doing and that i miss her . She started to be real bitchy towards me telling me that i wasn't the guy she taught i was and that i acted like a teenager. I was always polite and probably a bit too over using of compliments but i never acted any different towards her. She then tells me She just wants to be "Friends". That if i come over we would still have a great time and that i should look for other girls and she would help me find some with a big smiley face at the end of it. I was shocked and a bit upset cause after all we spoke about after all she said to me just like that she wanted nothing but to be friends. I told her I was upset cause I really really liked her and felt we had something there and that she couldn't have told me this a week before seen as i booked the flights and hotel at least of given me the opition now i lost all this money and i had to go on a trip i didn't want to go on. She told me i was selfish for thinking of myself and spoiling it for everyone and that She wanted to see me and hang out. I told her if she wanted to be friends then Facebook was the place and that she could phone me. She then starting to call me names and just deleted me like that.
I haven't spoken or heard a word from her in days and I've been told by my friend she's going to show up no matter if i like it or not. I have become really moody and depresssed over the fact she let me down so much. My college work has been effected and i just sit in bed when i'm not in college going through all the bad this trip will bring.My so called friend doesn't seem to want to rock the boat with his girl so is telling me its going to be great and that i shouldn't let it get me down. Her friend is been polite just so i won't bad mouth her to my friend. So i haven't anyone to give me advice on what i should do so i decided to join this great forum and look for advice cause i really really like this girl. Am i over reacting to this? Thanks in advance
This probably isn't as serious as some issues on here but i hope you guys can help me cause its really started to just effect my whole life.
During the summer I met a woman from Sweden here in Ireland during her hoildays, she was with her friend and i was with mine. My friend and her friend had got together during that first night but me and this girl just talked and talked about our lifes the lows and highs and we hung out all night held hands and just enjoyed each others company . I'm 27 she's 20 but I've never met a woman like her ever she was so easy going and i just felt at ease with her. I taught after that night i wouldn't hear from her again but my friend rang me two nights later that they wanted to meet up with us again. I was over the moon as i really wanted to see her again plus i've never been this popular with many women in my life so it was nice someone wanted to see me. That night we drank a little, we talked, i held her hand and i taught to myself i make a move in to kiss. She stopped me and told me She had a boyfriend. But she told me she was going to break up with him as he wasn't nice to her (Her friend told me the same later on that night). I taught okay another great girl got away but she wanted us to hang out again for the rest of the week in which we did. During the last night she gave me her phone number, added me on facebook and started to tell me i was the guy she always wanted and kissed me for a while . She told me to keep in touch when she left.
So for three months we kept in touch by phone and facebook, telling me every week she missed me and was dreaming every night of me been with her. I really fell for this girl at the time . On Webcam she was doing some stripping and mild sexual stuff for me and She kept telling me she would dump her boyfriend. My friend and Her friend had decided to set up a trip to Sweden for the middle of November for a romantic week. So she decided to ask me would i like to come over to vist her and seen as we were getting along so well and that she would dump her Boyfriend i said yeah. She tells me I won't regret a thing and would say we would have great sex together and that she wanted to spend as much time with me as possible. I paid of the flight (No Refunds) and the Hotel instead of a cheaper Hostel so are respective girls could get in too cause the hostels wouldn't allow it in Sweden this all coming to 600 euro. Expensive for a student but i taught it be worth it just to see her.
Then trouble started, last week she stopped calling and txting me for a few days. She told me she was going to break up with her boyfriend and was looking for a job so she could save and vist me in Dublin during the easter break. So I taught she be pretty busy so i leave her alone. 5 days went by and i saw that she was on facebook and i decided just to ask her how she was doing and that i miss her . She started to be real bitchy towards me telling me that i wasn't the guy she taught i was and that i acted like a teenager. I was always polite and probably a bit too over using of compliments but i never acted any different towards her. She then tells me She just wants to be "Friends". That if i come over we would still have a great time and that i should look for other girls and she would help me find some with a big smiley face at the end of it. I was shocked and a bit upset cause after all we spoke about after all she said to me just like that she wanted nothing but to be friends. I told her I was upset cause I really really liked her and felt we had something there and that she couldn't have told me this a week before seen as i booked the flights and hotel at least of given me the opition now i lost all this money and i had to go on a trip i didn't want to go on. She told me i was selfish for thinking of myself and spoiling it for everyone and that She wanted to see me and hang out. I told her if she wanted to be friends then Facebook was the place and that she could phone me. She then starting to call me names and just deleted me like that.
I haven't spoken or heard a word from her in days and I've been told by my friend she's going to show up no matter if i like it or not. I have become really moody and depresssed over the fact she let me down so much. My college work has been effected and i just sit in bed when i'm not in college going through all the bad this trip will bring.My so called friend doesn't seem to want to rock the boat with his girl so is telling me its going to be great and that i shouldn't let it get me down. Her friend is been polite just so i won't bad mouth her to my friend. So i haven't anyone to give me advice on what i should do so i decided to join this great forum and look for advice cause i really really like this girl. Am i over reacting to this? Thanks in advance
Lesson 1. Never get involved with a girl who has a boyfriend / husband even if she claims it is soon to be over.
Lesson 2. Cut your losses, stay home and find another girl.
My advice is to NOT go. Take it as one of life's obscure and expensive lessons and move past it. We've all had such misadventures on the road.
I agree with this. I would not go if I were you.
I would also try to find a way to get the hotel to give me a credit for a future stay (since no refunds). I think you should be able to do this.
There are so many red flags here
1. She is Swedish.
2. She had a boyfriend. If someone is willing to break up with their boyfriend for a random guy, then she lacks values.
3. You hardly know her
4. You don't pay for tickets and hotel for random girls. Only suckers do that.
5. If you do, make sure it is refundable
Also, never contact that women again. And don't give her the ticket or cancel it if you already have. She is using you.
I would go but I would make sure the reservation was changed so she would not have a place to stay without paying for it which she of course would be told she has no reservation AFTER they arrive. Then I would just go and do what I wanted to without her, her friend and the other guy. There is no reason to waste all that money and not take a trip just because some stupid human decides they just want to be friends.
Honestly, you were screwed from the start because you never, ever get involved with someone who is still attached. If someone says, " I'm in a relationship, but don't worry, I'm going to break up with that person soon."
1. They're lying.
2. They're lying.
If I were you, I would still go on the trip. Hell, it's already paid for and you're unattached -- go out and have fun. Stay away from that girl. As for the hotel room, I agree with changing the reservation like CSD610 said because there's no reason for her to stay there on your dime.
I would go but I would make sure the reservation was changed so she would not have a place to stay without paying for it which she of course would be told she has no reservation AFTER they arrive. Then I would just go and do what I wanted to without her, her friend and the other guy. There is no reason to waste all that money and not take a trip just because some stupid human decides they just want to be friends.
I agree with this.
Also, you just learned a valuable lesson (and it's not about the boyfriend thing).
NEVER plan a trip with a girl (unless she's already a good friend) until you've had sex with her and/or are in some kind of committed relationship with her.
You should have gone for the sex asap when you were hanging out with her the first time around. No worries though. This is a lesson that we all have to learn (I just learned it recently myself). Now you know for next time.
Also, go out and get some experience with women asap.
I am pretty much screwed really ain't i that was the whole reason for the trip was to see her. I'm going on the trip for sure with my friend (he's with the Swedish Chicks friend whhich makes it slightly awkward). I will try to give it a go trying to find another but me and my friend do it together so on my own chatting women up i'm pretty much useless. I think thats what i'm worried about that i will be like a puppy dog if she acts all nice. I doubt she will but stranger things have happened but i'm going over there wanting to enjoy the trip. Its only 5 days so it ain't too long.
There are so many red flags here
1. She is Swedish.
2. She had a boyfriend. If someone is willing to break up with their boyfriend for a random guy, then she lacks values.
3. You hardly know her
4. You don't pay for tickets and hotel for random girls. Only suckers do that.
5. If you do, make sure it is refundable
Also, never contact that women again. And don't give her the ticket or cancel it if you already have. She is using you.
Thanks for the advice Camlon
I won't be paying anything for her. I was a sucker i admit that but probably my lack of experience with women certainly came up in this situation. I won't contact her again thats for certain. I didn't buy her a ticket for any flight and the hotel ws only chosen cause it would allow other guests over.
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. I think thats what i'm worried about that i will be like a puppy dog if she acts all nice. I doubt she will but stranger things have happened but i'm going over there wanting to enjoy the trip. Its only 5 days so it ain't too long.
