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She can be black, white, red, yellow -- and if the colours were available, green, blue, pink, orange or purple. I just do not CARE.
If she's eight feet tall and has no problem with my 5'10"-5'11", then I have no problem with her eight foot height. If she's Meredith Eaton, I have no problem with her 4'3" height, not for a second.
If she's plump (I draw the line at FAT, there IS no such thing as a SSBBW, this is self-delusion), lean, thin, stocky, muscular, willowy, athletic, "festive", etc -- I do not care.
Red hair, blonde hair, black hair, auburn hair, brown hair, lavender hair -- I just don't care.
Glasses, contacts, brown eyes, green eyes, grey eyes, blue eyes -- DON'T CARE.
I like boobs but they're NOT a prerequisite.
I like women with hair "down there", but again NOT a prerequisite.
I like a pretty FACE, but a sincere, bright smile goes a long way toward making any face pretty.
Now, then....
I love a sense of humour. I have NEVER met a woman who loved to laugh who didn't also love sex, and prove as giving in bed as she was willing to receive (as a giver myself, that's important).
I love a sense of humour because NOT all of life is spent in bed; not everything is about Fu*#!n@. I love to laugh. In fact I have a sense of humour which can range from the subtle all the way to stupid word-play, from "pull-my-finger" to jokes involving lofty academics. I love to be around HAPPY women who know how to PLAY.
I love a woman who actually loves cooking. I love cooking myself, and cooking and eating are SO amazingly fun when there's someone with whom to share the experience -- feeding each other, trading places as chef/soux-chef depending on the day... sharing and exploring recipes...
I love a woman who enjoys outdoor life AND indoor life. I love being out on the farm, working with animals, working in the garden, planting herbs and trees and vines. A woman who enjoyed this would be great. Not too squeamish, not afraid to get her hands dirty. I am NOT going to make her handle everything and I'm willing to step in where necessary, but at least TRY and be brave.
However I HATE hot, humid weather with a passion and don't want to be with someone who insists on dragging me out into what equates to misery and walking around soaked with sweat, constantly mopping my brow with my sleeve to keep salt out of my eyes.
She must love winter and snow, even if she also loves summer and beaches.
I DON'T want a woman who wants everything to be a debate or argument, BUT --
I also don't want a woman who's afraid to stand up to me, speak her mind freely and openly, TELL me when she thinks (not feels, THINKS) I'm wrong.
Must at least tolerate children good-naturedly. Not everyone loves children and that's fine; but I would expect good-natured TOLERANCE at a minimum. (Hey, if you were screwing up you'd want me to be patient and understanding, wouldn't you?)
Must enjoy romance, and must have the ability to SEE romance in different places, things, settings, scenarios and gestures. Must understand that when I walk through the kitchen in the morning and grab a handful of keister and waggle my eyebrows, it means "I love you, you're the one who puts this sense of life, this air of boyish mischief into my soul and makes me breathe."
Must enjoy being groped and fondled. Must enjoy kissing -- NO EXCEPTIONS!
Must enjoy reading a variety of things; it would be great if she preferred NOVA to America's Next Top Model.
It would be spectacular if she spoke or wished to speak other languages.
Honesty -- if you need to lie about it then you probably shouldn't be doing it and you KNOW it, hence the lie; and if you're the kind of person who's okay lying to me because you can't face me and talk about something, then you are NOT the woman for me. Period.
I love corny jokes. I love playful silliness. I love singing and it would be great if she loved these things too.
Time on the lap, time with my hand down her blouse "just because", time apart actually sucks...
Loving
Affectionate to me
Outgoing
Understanding
Intelligent
Likes meaningful conversation
Brown eyes
Black hair
Cherokee Indian
Not overweight
Doesn't smoke or use weed
Not an alcoholic
A hard worker
Likes outdoorsy activities
Tall, about 6"
Light-skinned, dark hair
Would never cheat; is faithful
Doesn't do drugs or have a gambling addiction, occasional drinking or smoking is fine
Has at least a bachelor's degree
About 5 years older, so around 26
Helps clean around the house without me having to ask
Doesn't want kids either, but maybe someday
Is open-hearted and willing to fall in love
Doesn't have some kind of porn addiction, doesn't tweet to girls in the porn industry via Twitter, and would never advise a girlfriend to become a camgirl...or anything of that nature
Enjoys the outdoors
Doesn't have a preference for Asian women (a lot of white guys do these days eh)
Appreciates fine art (not the crappy modern stuff)
Has good music taste, i.e. stuff like Motown and various rock
Tall, about 6"
Light-skinned, dark hair
Would never cheat; is faithful
Doesn't do drugs or have a gambling addiction, occasional drinking or smoking is fine
Has at least a bachelor's degree
About 5 years older, so around 26
Helps clean around the house without me having to ask
Doesn't want kids either, but maybe someday
Is open-hearted and willing to fall in love
Doesn't have some kind of porn addiction, doesn't tweet to girls in the porn industry via Twitter, and would never advise a girlfriend to become a camgirl...or anything of that nature
Enjoys the outdoors
Doesn't have a preference for Asian women (a lot of white guys do these days eh)
Appreciates fine art (not the crappy modern stuff)
Has good music taste, i.e. stuff like Motown and various rock
Unrealistic...... 95% of single men would fail on at least one of those
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I don't know how you managed, because no one gets between me and my coffee.
