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When you see a highly attractive person, what do you think? Do you assume their socially confident, can get anyone they want, etc? Do you stare? Do you become envious?
I'm doing research on highly attractive people and trying to determine whether or not they receive better treatment than us regular folks.
I have a friend who is highly attractive and he tells me that people often stare and give him better treatment because of his looks.
I'm curious to find out your opinions, and then I'll share with you my findings so far on this issue.
My landlord, the electric company, the gas station none of them care how beautiful I am...lol....
If I was able to get anyone I want I'd have Brad Pitt right now.
People do stare, but I dont mind, I like looking at beautiful people too.
I'm doing research on highly attractive people and trying to determine whether or not they receive better treatment than us regular folks.
why are you trying to re-invent the wheel when plenty of such research has already been done, and has conclusively proven that better looking people really do get better treatment?
Yes, people that are highly attractive do get better treatment,only because someone is hoping to go to bed with them. If an attractive man were to snub a woman for whatever reason, she would treat him like a dog in the street. If an attractive woman was to snub a man, he would treat her like trash and make rumors about her.
When you see a highly attractive person, what do you think? Do you assume their socially confident, can get anyone they want, etc? Do you stare? Do you become envious?
I'm doing research on highly attractive people and trying to determine whether or not they receive better treatment than us regular folks.
I have a friend who is highly attractive and he tells me that people often stare and give him better treatment because of his looks.
I'm curious to find out your opinions, and then I'll share with you my findings so far on this issue.
From personal experience of my late teens, 20's and 30's:
Bad-
Men who were married (with or without kids), men who otherwise weren't gay, and most black men would come on to me. Wouldn't be so bad if I weren't a GUY!
Women stalked me too long.
Lots of jail bait coming on to me, including neighbors 14 year old daughter knocking on my bedroom window in the middle of the night.
Many of the men who didn't come on to me, hated me on sight. Men can be cattier than women.
Women sometimes assumed I was married or in a relationship and many who didn't care if I was.
Good-
I got a LOT of free and discounted stuff from retail workers.
Women bought me real estate, gave me money, gifts, plane tix etc.
I got a lot of discounts free coupons insider deals, better seats and jobs based on my looks.
Sold a lot when I worked in sales. Didn't really matter what I was selling.
I was stalked by women, showed up at and broke into my house, came to my job. One time 5 of them showed up at my home at once. They weren't there to take me to a bar. (being stalked can be good).
Since I turned 50 and have been struggling with a 20 pound weight gain, I have noticed a striking difference in how I am perceived by the public at large. I don't see as many smiling faces and people no longer go out of their way to hold doors open for me, or hold elevators, or other small gestures of consideration that I once took for granted.
I never really realized how cold and unfriendly the world was until after I turned 50. I took it all for granted. I didn't realize that it had anything to do with attractiveness. I thought the world was a positive, happy place where people offered to do favors for each other and compliment each other. A world where others would step aside to allow me to pass as I walked by. Alas, it was a temporary phase in life that has passed. I am still adjusting to my new reality of being a nobody.
**sigh**
Wow. This post is unaccountably sad. Women have always known that their worth is balled up in how they look and that some women who were used to being treated well due to looks may find it jolting that they may seem invisible after a certain age. Still, modern expectations dictate that a woman is worth more than her looks, but thousands of years of social conditioning cannot be undone just because women have more rights and choices then 60 years ago.
But being invisble and a nobody is not a pre-determined destiny. I know they are extreme examples but look at Helen Mirren--she is way in her 60's but she has aged well and is considered "a thinking man's sex symbol". Look at Joan Rivers--still doing stand up comic at 76 and she is worth over 200 million dollars. She really worked hard to get where she is no matter what people think of her.
Age does not have to be a sell by date. You have the potential to enjoy life and attract people who value you and won't relegate you to a non-entity. The fact that western women can live well into their 80's illustrates that you still have plenty of time to craft a good life and damned those who would judge you as not worthy because of your age.
Everyone ages and will die. Women aren't the only ones who will suffer this indignity.
When I see a very attractive person, at first all I really can do is admire the way they look. I don't know anything about them other than how they look. So, there is a first impression. However, after that things can change. The "attractive" person may have an annoying high pitched voice or is so arrogant I want to puke.
So I think attractiveness is more complex than just what you see. I "do" think there is a basic standard of beauty. There have been scientific studies done that verify that is true. People who have symmetrical features tend to appeal to more people. This standard can be true across all ethnic backgrounds. I'm sure we would all agree that nice shaped eyes, nice skin, straight teeth, and a nice figure would be attractive.
Still, the inside can make and break the way they look on the outside. Contrary to popular belief an egocentric player will not win every woman's heart. Especially not mine. If he is arrogant he can kiss his chances with me goodbye. Major turnoff.
So, back to the main question...I do think attractive people are treated differently. I have read studies that show attractive people will be promoted and get raises more than their less attractive counterparts. I also think that people assume life is easier for attractive people. Which is not true. They have disappointments and struggles just like anyone else. So they may attract attention and people at first but in order to be a healthy happy person they have to have some substance on the inside.
Judging on looks is illogical, first impressions aside.
Since I turned 50 and have been struggling with a 20 pound weight gain, I have noticed a striking difference in how I am perceived by the public at large. I don't see as many smiling faces and people no longer go out of their way to hold doors open for me, or hold elevators, or other small gestures of consideration that I once took for granted.
I never really realized how cold and unfriendly the world was until after I turned 50. I took it all for granted. I didn't realize that it had anything to do with attractiveness. I thought the world was a positive, happy place where people offered to do favors for each other and compliment each other. A world where others would step aside to allow me to pass as I walked by. Alas, it was a temporary phase in life that has passed. I am still adjusting to my new reality of being a nobody.
**sigh**
Why do you care if strangers think you're a nobody.
I can see where Booda's coming from. Example, I know of this transportation employee, who always has a smile for the gals, but at the same time, I've witnessed him singling out the really pretty ladies while in the process snubbing those surrounding. Reminds me of a guy who would take the step stool from one exit where a 50 yr old lady would be trying to get down and place it on the other side for the 18 yr old "hottie".
When you see a highly attractive person, what do you think? Do you assume their socially confident, can get anyone they want, etc? Do you stare? Do you become envious?
I'm doing research on highly attractive people and trying to determine whether or not they receive better treatment than us regular folks.
I have a friend who is highly attractive and he tells me that people often stare and give him better treatment because of his looks.
I'm curious to find out your opinions, and then I'll share with you my findings so far on this issue.
I don't have any opinion about highly attractive people, other than that they're pleasant to look at. Very good-looking women do make me somewhat nervous. I've read a recent study that when a very hot woman enters a room, men biologically react (stress levels, cardiac frequency) exactly like they would in an imminent danger situation...probably due to competition with other males.
A lot of people tell me I'm very good-looking (I'm not pretentious about it) and it has not given me a lot of free passes, except maybe with older women at work, who tend to be nicer than they are with other guys.
I'm kind of shy and I keep to myself. A lot of people assume I'm a snob. People I'm friends with today tell me the first impression they had of me was of someone pretentious and arrogant, mostly because I'm kinda awkward when I introduce myself. This always made me laugh because if I was the ugliest guy in the room, these people would just pity me for being shy.
I used to be very emo about this, until I grew up and realized that the people who don't bother to get to know me because they assume I'm a snob are just as superficial as those who don't bother to talk with ugly looking people. Basically, these people are guilty of what they accuse me and not worth being friends with.
I hang out with people who I feel good with on an intellectual level. People who judge everyone based on their appearance usually have not much else to talk about.
That said, I take great care of my appearance. I don't obsess about it but I think it's worth the effort in comparison with the condifence issues you have when you "let yourself go". I didn't care about how I looked when I was a teenager, I gained weight, bad diet, no exercise, excessive drinking, dressed badly, etc...and I was just depressed all the time. It's hard to begin a day when your body feels like crap because you eat badly and never exercise and what you see in the mirror is all messed up.
I also take care of myself because I think it's important that my GF likes how I look. I don't want her to be embarassed when she introduces me to other people. I want her to be attracted to me, not just pretend she is. And I don't this to then require the same "standard" from her (some guys do this). It's just something *I* want to do. I don't really care about how she looks. I'm a lot more attracted to "brainy women" and confidence than physical appeareance, which is a bonus in my book.
When I see a highly-attractive person, either male or female, my first thought is usually, "Wow...they look great!". And then, I pay attention to the way they carry themselves around others. I've seen a lot of them intentionally try to get their way around others just based on their looks (i.e. getting discounts at stores). If this happens, then my thought changes to, "Wow...they look great...but they seem sad and pathetic!"
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Superficial world.
(being stalked can be good).
