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Good. Then leave it at that, and don't whine about that "relationship" ruining you. YOU are the only one that can "ruin" YOU.
I don't think I'm ruined as an overall person. I just have found myself missing that excitement level and desire for meeting a woman and it's left me emotionless. I just wish I could have that back and I blame her for taking that from me. I don't dwell on it, it doesn't control my life. I'm obviously doing what I can to overcome that and stay optimistic about finding someone as I'm back in the swing of dating.
In some ways the "numbness" and indifference has it's benefits, I'm just worried I may not ever care strongly for someone again as much as I did for her. I really want to be able to do that again.
I don't think I'm ruined as an overall person. I just have found myself missing that excitement level and desire for meeting a woman and it's left me emotionless. I just wish I could have that back and I blame her for taking that from me. I don't dwell on it, it doesn't control my life. I'm obviously doing what I can to overcome that and stay optimistic about finding someone as I'm back in the swing of dating.
In some ways the "numbness" and indifference has it's benefits, I'm just worried I may not ever care strongly for someone again as much as I did for her. I really want to be able to do that again.
You are sounding exactly like you sounded before you ever met her. Really, you do. You obsess over every detail of a possible relationship. You drown in them. You already know that. We've told you a hundred times or more, so you must know that is an issue. I don't know how to help you with it...but somehow you have to find some kind of happiness in your life to get you to stop with the obsessing.
I don't believe you when you say you are "emotionless".
-->I have found myself missing that excitement level and desire for meeting a woman
You want a companion. Period. And you think about it constantly. You aren't emotionless about it. You are however, so worried about things NOT working out that you pretend to not care. I really wish you could stop viewing every woman as a possible girlfriend, and instead think about making FRIENDS...of the female variety. Yep. That's what I said. Friends only. Hang out. Be a buddy. Chatty charlie and all that. You need some worry-free access to women for a while. Get a better perspective on things. And stop obsessing!
You are sounding exactly like you sounded before you ever met her. Really, you do. You obsess over every detail of a possible relationship. You drown in them. You already know that. We've told you a hundred times or more, so you must know that is an issue. I don't know how to help you with it...but somehow you have to find some kind of happiness in your life to get you to stop with the obsessing.
I don't believe you when you say you are "emotionless".
-->I have found myself missing that excitement level and desire for meeting a woman
You want a companion. Period. And you think about it constantly. You aren't emotionless about it. You are however, so worried about things NOT working out that you pretend to not care. I really wish you could stop viewing every woman as a possible girlfriend, and instead think about making FRIENDS...of the female variety. Yep. That's what I said. Friends only. Hang out. Be a buddy. Chatty charlie and all that. You need some worry-free access to women for a while. Get a better perspective on things. And stop obsessing!
I'm not obsessing. I just like discussion, and posts like yours entertain me on slow days at work.
I don't mean to say I don't care at all, obviously I care or I wouldn't date and I wouldn't talk about it. I think I just don't care about the outcome as much. I've been turned down and when I leave these dates I feel indifferent to what happens. I like talking about it and sharing dating experiences because I think everyone can learn from anyone else's experiences. It's actually a good thing, but I find myself getting this feeling like "maybe I don't want to do this" sometimes when I go on these dates or talking to these women. I used to be 100% invested. Now I'm really not.
I'm actually not opposed to being friends with these women. That would actually be pretty cool. It's hard to make just stricly plutonic friends with women sometimes, especially with attractive ones in a big city because they think everything is an advance. I would not be opposed to just being friends with these women, but I don't get the feeling that it's "just a friend" that they are looking for. I'll just continue to take things one step at a time. If that means it ends up with nothing, only being friends, only hooking up, or a relationship. I no longer concern myself with the outcomes as much. What happens happens and I'm okay with it.
I'm sorry that you feel stressed out or annoyed with my posts. No one is forcing you to read them, you really don't have to respond if you seem to have me figured out. There's no need to ridicule and tell everyone they're messed up and need help. You could just do nothing.
Um, no. I wouldn't call a new possible romantic interest while in the car with my parents. Heck no.
I didn't say that. But you could certainly call them back when the opportunity arose. When I was a kid, you'd call your friend and maybe he wasn't home, his mom would take a message and you'd go back outside. Maybe a day later he calls back. Now, if you don't respond instantly people take offense. It's ****ing ludicrous.
I'm not obsessing. I just like discussion, and posts like yours entertain me on slow days at work.
Ah. I'm not on here often as I don't have that much time. And I sure don't get on here while I'm at work - nice that you have access to such sites to keep you entertained. And since this is just entertainment for you, then I won't be worrying about ya.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201
I'm sorry that you feel stressed out or annoyed with my posts. No one is forcing you to read them, you really don't have to respond if you seem to have me figured out. There's no need to ridicule and tell everyone they're messed up and need help. You could just do nothing.
Too funny! There's not one single post on this entire forum that could possibly stress me out (and the annoyance factor is minimal, I assure you .)
Your posts have not changed in the couple of years I've read them, same old issues, same old complaints. So yea, nothing seems to be the right direction.
Ah. I'm not on here often as I don't have that much time. And I sure don't get on here while I'm at work - nice that you have access to such sites to keep you entertained. And since this is just entertainment for you, then I won't be worrying about ya.
Too funny! There's not one single post on this entire forum that could possibly stress me out (and the annoyance factor is minimal, I assure you .)
Your posts have not changed in the couple of years I've read them, same old issues, same old complaints. So yea, nothing seems to be the right direction.
I'm sure you've changed SOOO MUCH as well....
OP Question: I need help with XXX, why does XXXX happen? What should I do?
ChessieMom: My life is perfect because I'm married with kids. It sounds like you have issues and you should see a therapist.
Ladies and Gentleman I present ChessieMom: Advocate and spokeswoman for "Increase Therapy in America". Psychologists and therapists must have you on the payroll.
OP Question: I need help with XXX, why does XXXX happen? What should I do?
ChessieMom: My life is perfect because I'm married with kids. It sounds like you have issues and you should see a therapist.
I am NOT married. I have ONE kid. I don't post endless personal questions on here, so yeah, you might not know much about me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201
I
Ladies and Gentleman I present ChessieMom: Advocate and spokeswoman for "Increase Therapy in America". Psychologists and therapists must have you on the payroll.
And this is your typical response. Really...no one wonders why you have such trouble with relationships.
If she didn't call you when she said she would I'd give her one more day and then just make other plans. If she contacts you just say you'd still really like to see her but you did not hear from her when she said she would call and didn't call you back, so you made plans. Just be honest.
Eh, not really enjoy it. I wish I could just forget her completely but you just have to accept that things happen. In some ways I'm really glad it happened, I improved my life considerably on my own and if it took her breaking my heart to motivate me to do that then so be it.
I just wish I had some of that dating excitement back or that desire to be in a serious relationship but it seems to be missing from me now. Not that I am opposed to relationships, I want to want one, I'm just indifferent now I guess.
In my honest opinion I feel you have every right to keep your options open to date whom you wish. After all you two had "loose" plans to get together on Wednesday and she stated she would text. I realize people are busy and everything however you cannot expect someone to keep their agenda open in the event you finally feel like calling on the actual date night, that is selfish and naive especially being on a dating website. Contact is key. Had she had plans to really see you? She would have contacted you sooner instead of allowing you to send a text the day before and not reply.
I do not think you are indifferent I think you are in a "dating funk" and it happens.
First off there are the dynamics of a past relationship, you getting over it and so forth. Secnd, the actual effort of getting out there again, hence the joining a dating site. Third, Actually connecting with others and spending your time communicating with these people and investing time in the whole process countless times, i.e. the same questions, the same spiel of who you are, where you work, your birth order ect.lol. It can be cumbersome.
So Yes I can understand your so called "Indifference" or boredom and distaste.
It is hard to be engaged when you anticipate the same outcome. It is called a dating funk.
When this happens? Take a breath, stay off of there for a while, focus on work and other things, give yourself some time and regroup and come back when you feel ready. There is no easy way into a relationship let alone enduring a bunch of going nowhere dates.
Good luck
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Too funny! There's not one single post on this entire forum that could possibly stress me out (and the annoyance factor is minimal, I assure you 
.)
