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Women aren't idiots; they know any man randomly starting a conversation with her wants to ****.
I couldn't disagree more. Where I come from in CA, it's very common for strangers to chat and pass the time in the grocery line, or wherever. Old, young, male, female, everyone does it, so no one associates it with a come-on. But if a chat goes well, I stick around for more. Maybe we walk out to the parking lot together, or if the guy has the nerve, he could say, would you be up for sitting down for some coffee/tea for a few minutes? This sort of thing does happen, and it's very pleasant when it does. Unfortunately, because some guys buy into all the negativity about this type of approach, it doesn't happen often enough. You guys could be getting a lot more play if you quit buying all the "NO, don't do THAT, she'll think you're a creep/dork/fill-in-the-blank" stuff.
I couldn't disagree more. Where I come from in CA, it's very common for strangers to chat and pass the time in the grocery line, or wherever. Old, young, male, female, everyone does it, so no one associates it with a come-on. But if a chat goes well, I stick around for more. Maybe we walk out to the parking lot together, or if the guy has the nerve, he could say, would you be up for sitting down for some coffee/tea for a few minutes? This sort of thing does happen, and it's very pleasant when it does. Unfortunately, because some guys buy into all the negative posts about this type of approach, it doesn't happen often enough. You guys could be getting a lot more play if you quit buying all the "NO, don't do THAT, she'll think you're a creep/dork/fill-in-the-blank" stuff.
Guys do not talk to women they're not attracted to unless necessary. And what's wrong with that? Your reply is pretty funny because you seem oblivious to it...and exactly why guys get friend-zoned and have no idea WTF happened. Guy talks to a girl, she thinks it's "just platonic", he gets confused and his feelings hurt.
I saw the film on another thread. Yes, I choose to be oblivious to it. When I talk to a guy, it's not necessarily because I might have a personal interest in him. Women think differently than men. My post was addressing the assumption that the woman will automatically find it creepy if a guy just casually makes a comment, a joke, or starts up light banter in a public place or grocery store. I know no one who would find that creepy. See some of the women's posts on the first couple of pages of this thread for more evidence of that.
I saw the film on another thread. Yes, I choose to be oblivious to it. When I talk to a guy, it's not necessarily because I might have a personal interest in him. Women think differently than men. My post was addressing the assumption that the woman will automatically find it creepy if a guy just casually makes a comment, a joke, or starts up light banter in a public place or grocery store. I know no one who would find that creepy. See some of the women's posts on the first couple of pages of this thread for more evidence of that.
Hmmm...I think you didn't read what I wrote. Creepy guys will come off as creepy, normal guys will not. The guys who think it's creepy to approach women in public situations either don't know how basic human interaction works (women have a pretty high tolerance for bull**** from guys) or have tried talking to women in regular situations and were labeled as creepy.
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JL
A woman is always going to be wary initially when a stranger suddenly talks to them. It really doesn't matter whether it is a library, grocery store, etc. A guy should just observe discreetly for a while before approaching. You want to make it as if she doesn't even realize you are hitting on her initially. This makes it less creepy,threatening.
If she is at the library reading or looking for a book, try to see what the book is about. You can start by asking her about the book or subject she is reading...then go from there. If she is at the grocery store looking for wine, ask her what she recommends and other things about food, etc....then go from there. I usually will compliment on something physically about her if we are in the beauty section(hair care, hygiene, etc. shelves) of a store, but normally i would just start conversation relevant to what she is doing at the time. I want to give her control and let her be comfortable. I would make it all about her and let her do the talking unless she asks me about my opinions or interests.
Good to have your IPhone with you too. So you can look up topics that you have no clue on. If she is in the fertilizer section of Home Depot, then i would look up online right then and there whether i can ask her if Scotts or Vigoro is better....then go from there
LOL.....you must hate the New York male mating method...
i do...esp when they get violent that you won't give them a chance
Never understood that one. Why would it matter how the guy takes the rejection... it's over, he doesn't have a chance so what difference does it make?
It simply means that he doesnt take the rejection personal, as there could be a multitude of reasons why he was rejected. Perhaps the woman is taken, is having a difficult day, is studying for a test, just got out of a bad relationship or has her mind focused on something else. His chance may indeed be gone, but if there are other women around, they will notice that he handles being rejected gracefuly and if he approaches another woman in vicinity, his chances are now much better.
It simply means that he doesnt take the rejection personal, as there could be a multitude of reasons why he was rejected. Perhaps the woman is taken, is having a difficult day, is studying for a test, just got out of a bad relationship or has her mind focused on something else. His chance may indeed be gone, but if there are other women around, they will notice that he handles being rejected gracefuly and if he approaches another woman in vicinity, his chances are now much better.
This is a good point. Many men seem to take rejection as a personal affront. Lighten up, guys! For women, getting rejected is just part of the sifting and weeding process. Everyone has personal preferences, if there's no "click" with one person, you move on to the next. I must say, there have been times when I've been approached and I really wanted to talk to the guy but couldn't, because I was in a hurry to get to an appointment, or wasn't feeling well and couldn't deal with it. So just because someone seems to reject you doesn't mean you shouldn't give it another try the next time you run into them.
why does it always have to be coffee!!!!!?????? lol
Because coffee/tea is informal. It keeps things casual. Lunch can also work. But if you're in the moment, and you'd like to continue the conversation, coffee/tea will work at almost any time of day.
I was just wondering how do women feel about a guy approaching her that she has never met.
Would most women go out with a strange guy?
I've only done the "cold" strange woman approach once. She was flirty and I was working on the job. I made up an excuse to give her my work cell number on the back of a business card. lol I told her if she needed "ANYTHING" to please give me a call.
Well, she never did, and I felt like a idiot. I remember driving away after giving it to her with my hand on my forehead shaking it for how lame that stunt was!
I should have won a price for the most courage and confidence, yet being an idiot! lol
Prowly never again! lol
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