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The 'numbers' don't necessarily help the situation. You alone know deep inside when you feel comfortable, happy, satisifed...in love.
Let me give you some wisdom. When you are young, and these wonderful feelings embrace you, but you force yourself, for whatever reason, to keep looking...or you listen to the 'you are young; give it time; there are millions of fish in the ocean' line from those who would try to 'help', you can convince yourself that there are many, many others out there who will give you these wonderful feelings.
Not so. There is one. If you have found that one person, don't give up on them. Ever. And don't give up on yourself, either. If you do, one day you will be older, and she will be gone, and there won't have been dozens of others just like her, or better. There won't have been ANY that made you feel so wonderful.
Let me tell you a little story. I was 18/19 when i fell in love. Deeply. Through some miscommunication involving another family memebr of hers, we moved apart. She was told 'she was too young, and had her whole life ahead of her....explore. Live. Do all of the things, and then fall in love. There are plenty of boys'.
Well, we both married other people. Her, twice, for over twenty years. Me, once, for almost thirty years. For 15 years i searched for her. I spent thousands of hours looking for her. This was pre-internet.....not completely, but before everything you wanted to know about anyone was a couple of clicks away. My love never waned. It never failed. I just HAD to know.
Twelve years ago i found her. Through a program where she had been in Japan...and a single picture and caption existed which allowed me to locate her whereabouts. We talked. We met. We were both wildly in love. Still.
We both divorced. We married ten years ago. For us, we were each that special person which makes your heart race and your legs quiver. We could have had forty years together, instead of ten. What a terrible loss...because someone said she should 'play the field' just to make sure.
I hope you get my point. The gift of love does not come around very often. Don't let it slip away and spend your life wondering about the 'what ifs.'
Do you need to date multiple people before getting serious/settling down? I'm in my mid-20's and in my first real relationship (1 year in ). Friends and family like my girlfriend, but have often given the advice of "You need to sample multiple relationships so you can understand what you are looking for... don't settle for your first (which she is)."
I have mixed feeling about this advice. On one hand, I have learned a lot from my current gf and what to look for if we ever broke up (given the things I like/don't like). On the other hand, I'm happy right now, so why should I have the mindset of "I just need to run through this relationship to get to the next." One thing that does get me thinking is my gf has had a ton of experience before me with all different kinds of relationships. She knew what she was looking for when she found me. I do not have anywhere near the dating/relationship experience. Any thoughts on this?
Why throw away a good thing? No one's putting pressure on you for marriage, are they? Over time, you'll find out if those things you don't like about your gf are minor or major problems. One of the important things is communication skills. If you can resolve differences fairly amicably, don't harbor resentments or hold back on issues that bother you, but bring them up as they come up, that will do a lot to help things run smoothly. The big question for most couples is: money. How do you both handle money? Is one of you a saver, thinking of the future, while the other's a spender and lives for the present moment, that's not going to work long-term.
There's no magic number. What there are, are coping skills, mutual values and goals in life, etc. that would bode well for a couple's future. You could find what you want in the first person you date (look at all those couples who married their HS sweetheart and lived happily ever after), or in the 10th or the 200th. But when you find her, don't let her get away.
Why throw away a good thing? No one's putting pressure on you for marriage, are they? Over time, you'll find out if those things you don't like about your gf are minor or major problems. One of the important things is communication skills. If you can resolve differences fairly amicably, don't harbor resentments or hold back on issues that bother you, but bring them up as they come up, that will do a lot to help things run smoothly. The big question for most couples is: money. How do you both handle money? Is one of you a saver, thinking of the future, while the other's a spender and lives for the present moment, that's not going to work long-term.
There's no magic number. What there are, are coping skills, mutual values and goals in life, etc. that would bode well for a couple's future. You could find what you want in the first person you date (look at all those couples who married their HS sweetheart and lived happily ever after), or in the 10th or the 200th. But when you find her, don't let her get away.
Exactly - there is no magic number.
Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince, sometimes he shows up first in line
What you think is right for you in your mid 20's, may not be what is right for you when you're 30. I married in my mid 20's and did not have a good marriage, ended up divorced at 50. Take your time, no rush to settle down....enjoy the journey, don't be in a rush to get to the destination.
The way I see it, if it feels right go for it. You don't want to dump someone based on others notions that you should date around or something else will come up better. She may be the best thing that will ever happen to you. It may not work out in 40 years, but you will never know it if you throw it away. Its very hard to find a relationship with someone you are compatible with. Look at the many posters, including myself, who struggle with finding a date or someone compatible in general.
OP, people do say that it's best to wait 'til your 30's, because you know yourself better, you've matured, and so forth, like Ellwood said. That doesn't necessarily mean you should play the field for 10 years, though. What it means is there's no reason to be in a rush. Give your current relationship some time to develop. See how well you two deal with stresses, see if you agree on Big Picture stuff, life goals, etc. You've got plenty of time to let it play out, and see if it's a truly good fit. She seems to think it is. You're not sure, but you say you're happy. Give it time. You've got a whole lifetime ahead of you. Get back to us in about a year, and let us know how you feel about her then.
I could meet the right woman tomorrow for all I know. I think the ideas of relationship minimums and 'term limits' for relationships are stupid. On OKCupid I believe it asks how long you'd like your next relationship to last... seriously? People put expiry dates on these things? If it lasts till I die, awesome. If it lasts for three months, well at least it lasted for a bit.
My parents married at 31, ended up divorced. I know other friends' parents who married way younger and are still happily together.
As many as it takes to find the right one. You'll both know.
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