Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was talking to my friend last week over a beer about the demise of his current relationship. He was crying in his beer over a woman that he's been seeing for a few months. He's a really stable guy and he fell head over heels for a gal who was beautiful but was apparently quite nuts. Unfortunately, he was so wrapped up in "Gaga Love" that he didn't see her turning into her normal Crazy self. He said she was on best behavior for about 1 month, before the signs started coming out.
I'm all for "Love" but it sure doesn't conquer all like the story books say. For the young people out there, there are many exceptions where this foolish "Love Conquers all concept" doesn't apply. Here's a few examples of what I think should override Love, especially before marriage:
-If the other person is Crazy. Don't fall in love with an Insane person.
-Incompatible personalities. Some people just weren't made to live together.
-Extreme Religous differences. Hard core Christian and Muslim or either with an Agnostic or Athiest.
-Alcoholic and non-drinker. Obvious one here.
-Either or both partners are permiscuis.
-Sexual incompatibilty.
-Exteme poverty- #1 reason marriages end.
-Children- One party want's them and the other does not.
These are just a few that I can think of. Any other examples or situations that may apply?
Well yeah....has one or more crazy exes...run her rapsheet and find out she has felonies...is dating or involved with someone else plus YOU. All "get the hell awwwn" reasons.
I was talking to my friend last week over a beer about the demise of his current relationship. He was crying in his beer over a woman that he's been seeing for a few months. He's a really stable guy and he fell head over heels for a gal who was beautiful but was apparently quite nuts. Unfortunately, he was so wrapped up in "Gaga Love" that he didn't see her turning into her normal Crazy self. He said she was on best behavior for about 1 month, before the signs started coming out.
I'm all for "Love" but it sure doesn't conquer all like the story books say. For the young people out there, there are many exceptions where this foolish "Love Conquers all concept" doesn't apply. Here's a few examples of what I think should override Love, especially before marriage:
-If the other person is Crazy. Don't fall in love with an Insane person.
-Incompatible personalities. Some people just weren't made to live together.
-Extreme Religous differences. Hard core Christian and Muslim or either with an Agnostic or Athiest.
-Alcoholic and non-drinker. Obvious one here.
-Either or both partners are permiscuis.
-Sexual incompatibilty.
-Exteme poverty- #1 reason marriages end.
-Children- One party want's them and the other does not.
These are just a few that I can think of. Any other examples or situations that may apply?
This is all good stuff. Love is a beautiful thing. But true love is more than racing pulses and hormones. It's a partnership. And if there are flaws or irreconcilable differences that are fatal to that partnership the relationship is doomed.
My EI and logic helps me to understand myself and the relationship I may pursue, and thankfully, I listen to my head most of the time. Not that I judge those who believe in "following your heart" but I just don't see any wisdom in that tbh.
This is all good stuff. Love is a beautiful thing. But true love is more than racing pulses and hormones. It's a partnership. And if there are flaws or irreconcilable differences that are fatal to that partnership the relationship is doomed.
That's why marriage has a 50% failure rate. No matter how good *it* is, *it* ain't that good!
I was talking to my friend last week over a beer about the demise of his current relationship. He was crying in his beer over a woman that he's been seeing for a few months. He's a really stable guy and he fell head over heels for a gal who was beautiful but was apparently quite nuts. Unfortunately, he was so wrapped up in "Gaga Love" that he didn't see her turning into her normal Crazy self. He said she was on best behavior for about 1 month, before the signs started coming out.
I'm all for "Love" but it sure doesn't conquer all like the story books say. For the young people out there, there are many exceptions where this foolish "Love Conquers all concept" doesn't apply. Here's a few examples of what I think should override Love, especially before marriage:
-If the other person is Crazy. Don't fall in love with an Insane person.
-Incompatible personalities. Some people just weren't made to live together.
-Extreme Religous differences. Hard core Christian and Muslim or either with an Agnostic or Athiest.
-Alcoholic and non-drinker. Obvious one here.
-Either or both partners are permiscuis.
-Sexual incompatibilty.
-Exteme poverty- #1 reason marriages end.
-Children- One party want's them and the other does not.
These are just a few that I can think of. Any other examples or situations that may apply?
I can certainly think of a few:
An un-selfish person who is in a relationship with a selfish person.
A religious person involved with a non religious person.
A person who has money involved with someone who does not have any (especially if the man is the one in the relationship who is broke).
One person is adventurous (loves to try new things) the other person is not.
One person is willing to make sacrifices/compromise to please their partner while the other person is not.
A communicator in a relationship with someone who avoids communication at all costs.
The marrying type in a relationship with someone who has vowed to never get married.
A saver in a relationship with a spender.
A hard worker in a relationship with a lazy person.
A person with a high sex drive in a relationship with someone who does not desire sex that often.
One of the biggest issues is that people hide who they really are in the beginning and move way too fast to get into the relationship.
y. "didn't care for women. "
I remember you saying that in your other post about your Ex. I guess being tired of dating isn't a good reason to jump into a marriage. It's all a risk, for sure. You can always sit on the sidelines or just quit, or throw your hat back in the ring as many of us do.
Yes I think part of my point too was that I thought I was using my head at the time and didn't realize until years later that I had simply given up on love and thought it was some manufactured feeling or an excuse that people use, and that it's a feeling that doesn't last much past marriage so the smart thing was to marry someone that i already knew I liked, and knew well (so I thought.) It wasn't until years later that I realized that I was stupider thinking with my head than my heart and I shouldn't have given up so soon. It was like it was "time" to be married. Dumb But I don't regret it very much b/c I have 2 beautiful girls. I dunno though--I think it's all part of the journey of life and no one gets out unscathed.
Also, back to your friend, I never thought I'd say this but I think we could avert a lot of headaches if we didn't all fall into bed so quickly. I am not saying this in a judgmental fashion, b/c lord knows I've learned the hard way. But if he'd just waited a month, he could have averted some of that heartache. (I know, I know, please don't throw rotten tomatoes at me. )
Yes I think part of my point too was that I thought I was using my head at the time and didn't realize until years later that I had simply given up on love and thought it was some manufactured feeling or an excuse that people use, and that it's a feeling that doesn't last much past marriage so the smart thing was to marry someone that i already knew I liked, and knew well (so I thought.) It wasn't until years later that I realized that I was stupider thinking with my head than my heart and I shouldn't have given up so soon. It was like it was "time" to be married. Dumb But I don't regret it very much b/c I have 2 beautiful girls. I dunno though--I think it's all part of the journey of life and no one gets out unscathed.
Also, back to your friend, I never thought I'd say this but I think we could avert a lot of headaches if we didn't all fall into bed so quickly. I am not saying this in a judgmental fashion, b/c lord knows I've learned the hard way. But if he'd just waited a month, he could have averted some of that heartache. (I know, I know, please don't throw rotten tomatoes at me. )
Yes. All of this. There are never any guarantees.
And now I think that love and compatibility are just miracles that don't happen to everybody, and we need to live our lives and be happy anyway.
Hahaha. "There is a tear in my beer cause I'm crying for you dear......you have been on my lonely mind..."
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But I don't regret it very much b/c I have 2 beautiful girls. I dunno though--I think it's all part of the journey of life and no one gets out unscathed. 
But if he'd just waited a month, he could have averted some of that heartache. (I know, I know, please don't throw rotten tomatoes at me. 
)
