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Some of what is touted as negatives by the OP are positives.
Is the culture good or bad because of higher divorce rates? Could be both. Bad if people take the committment too flippantly. However, it is a positive too, as it is a sign that people are more likely, able, willing, and accepted when getting out of truly bad marriages.
Also, I am not sure everyone in the country is in the "dating" scene for casual hookups and relationships. Those people are certainly out there, but there are those that stick a little more to some of the basic ideals of courtship, searching for long term quality relationships, etc.
Maybe it is a case of seeing it as a half full or half empty glass.
If you had a particularly low market value, say youd get success for every 300 rejections of average looking people in your age group, then id say maybe you might want to consider if its worth it and concentrate on achieving other things in life. I dont think im quite at that rate. If i were i might just consider calling it quits until next lifetime.
Whatever your values and whatever you think of current social norms and trends, you can find someone who shares YOUR values if you really try. Giving up because you think everyone ELSE is part of the problem is damned arrogant and incorrect. You're defeated before you even try.
If I become a widow or divorcee I will never date again. I think the problem is not with men and not with women but the dating CULTURE. The "hookup" culture, the online dating culture, the transient nature of relationships, the high divorce rate...it's the CULTURE that needs to change. We need to go back to the "old school" system of courtship, romance and long lasting marriage in which divorce only happened in the cases of adultery or abuse. Who is with me on this one?
So perhaps when I am 80 years old I may be the owner of 150-200 cats, but if the horrific era of modern dating culture with all its hookups and flings doesn't change lots of cats doesn't seem like a bad alternative.
I wish we could follow the ideals of India or China where they still arrange marriages.
Who out there on this board still thinks dating in modern day North America is worth the trouble? If you find the right person I guess it is. Otherwise it sounds like all wasted time.
Sometimes dating seems like an odd custom. For one thing, it puts the woman at risk, to be going out with a stranger, or virtual stranger. Stuff happens to some women when they're dating strangers, that's why some dating sites advise to start with a coffee meeting or lunch only. When I was in my 20's, I didn't do the traditional dating thing. I met guys by hanging out with my circle of friends. New people were always joining the group, or dropping in for a few visits, and so forth. That makes a lot more sense to me, but that doesn't happen much when you're older.
I might add that the thing about going back to courtship and romance sounds like a very female thing to say. This is what women expected when I was in college. I think there are still college women who think this way, though there have always been partyers as well. I don't know how many guys are into the courtship and romance thing.
Sometimes dating seems like an odd custom. For one thing, it puts the woman at risk, to be going out with a stranger, or virtual stranger. Stuff happens to some women when they're dating strangers, that's why some dating sites advise to start with a coffee meeting or lunch only. When I was in my 20's, I didn't do the traditional dating thing. I met guys by hanging out with my circle of friends. New people were always joining the group, or dropping in for a few visits, and so forth. That makes a lot more sense to me, but that doesn't happen much when you're older.
I might add that the thing about going back to courtship and romance sounds like a very female thing to say. This is what women expected when I was in college. I think there are still college women who think this way, though there have always been partyers as well. I don't know how many guys are into the courtship and romance thing.
Courtship? Romance? What are those???
This is why I am having mucho difficulty 'out there'. I am a gentleman who is all about those things... yet no woman, it seems, wants that. No way. The 'culture' has become way too shallow, plastic, fake, you name it, for such 'quaint' concepts. It's now all about emulating what is on the television and/or radio - and what's there now is downright ugly and repulsive.
Courtship? Romance? Those things are dead. Dead dead dead.
This is probably true until around age 40-45. Then the tables turn.
I was really really board and went on okcupid just for grins and all of the mens profiles in my age range stated they were looking for a serious long term relationship and/or marriage.
That's because they're looking for someone to keep them up.
This is why I am having mucho difficulty 'out there'. I am a gentleman who is all about those things... yet no woman, it seems, wants that. No way. The 'culture' has become way too shallow, plastic, fake, you name it, for such 'quaint' concepts. It's now all about emulating what is on the television and/or radio - and what's there now is downright ugly and repulsive.
Courtship? Romance? Those things are dead. Dead dead dead.
There's an unfortunate reason for many women acting like that... I've had a few guys act very romantic and treated me great... Turns out it was all an act to get my defenses down so they could sleep with me.
I'm VERY cynical when it comes to romance... As they say, once bitten twice shy.
Whatever your values and whatever you think of current social norms and trends, you can find someone who shares YOUR values if you really try. Giving up because you think everyone ELSE is part of the problem is damned arrogant and incorrect. You're defeated before you even try.
and where exactly did he blame everyone else? And furthermore what's so bad about giving up?
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