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Old 06-28-2012, 10:41 PM
 
1 posts, read 15,439 times
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I am dating a younger man--I am 32 and he is 10 years my junior. He is a great guy and he treats me very well. However, lately, a lot of issues are coming up that put the age difference right out there. It's the proverbial elephant in the room. We know it's there, but we avoid talking about it out-right.

This guy wants children some day. I don't really know that I do want more children (I have one child-a 9 year old-from a previous relationship). He has several hobbies that he enjoys doing, but seems to be under the impression that the time he spends on those hobbies should not change at all if and when we move in together.

On the weekends, he usually spends most of his time here. This past Sunday he couldn't wait to get out of here, much earlier than usual. I invited him over for dinner a couple of nights ago and he declined. He declined because he's recently resumed playing an online RPG. I am starting to feel a little like his hobbies are more important.

And I can't help wondering how much of a future we really have, when I think about the issues that we have. The issues are the biggers ones; religion, children, etc.
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Old 06-28-2012, 10:53 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,052 posts, read 106,836,948 times
Reputation: 115784
A 10-year age difference isn't big when people are older. But dating a 22-year old? Though mature 22-year olds do exist, it sounds like yours may not be one of them. (More interested in online distractions than being with his woman.) And if you don't agree on the big issues, it's probably time to move on. It sounds like you two got along great in the beginning, but now as you get to know each other better and settle into routines, you're finding things out about each other that indicate that it's not as good a fit as you'd thought. idk, that's how it looks from a distance, from what you've posted.
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Old 06-29-2012, 12:04 AM
 
1,171 posts, read 1,944,388 times
Reputation: 621
Don't know why a 32 woman in her prime is messing with a 22 year old into WoW type stuff anyway. Men your own age and a tad older are dying to meet you. They won't pull your leg either.
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Old 06-29-2012, 12:14 AM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,400,270 times
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only one way to know...talk to him (though in not sure a 22 year old male will ever have any life goals clear in his mind)
he can be the nicest guy in the world, but if you both dont meet down the middle on key relationship items there really isnt much point in keeping the dream alive. a big part of being in ANY form of relationship is having a common goals.

it sounds like the "honeymoon" is starting to wear off with you and now the idea of being with him for the long haul is showing up when you rub your eyes every morning.
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Old 06-29-2012, 01:01 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
819 posts, read 1,127,128 times
Reputation: 1279
Quote:
Originally Posted by SameOne View Post
Don't know why a 32 woman in her prime is messing with a 22 year old into WoW type stuff anyway. Men your own age and a tad older are dying to meet you. They won't pull your leg either.
What kind of 32 year old man is dying to meet a single mother?
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Old 06-29-2012, 01:06 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,295,459 times
Reputation: 40193
Quote:
Originally Posted by HippyDreamer80 View Post
I am dating a younger man--I am 32 and he is 10 years my junior. He is a great guy and he treats me very well. However, lately, a lot of issues are coming up that put the age difference right out there. It's the proverbial elephant in the room. We know it's there, but we avoid talking about it out-right.

This guy wants children some day. I don't really know that I do want more children (I have one child-a 9 year old-from a previous relationship). He has several hobbies that he enjoys doing, but seems to be under the impression that the time he spends on those hobbies should not change at all if and when we move in together.

On the weekends, he usually spends most of his time here. This past Sunday he couldn't wait to get out of here, much earlier than usual. I invited him over for dinner a couple of nights ago and he declined. He declined because he's recently resumed playing an online RPG. I am starting to feel a little like his hobbies are more important.

And I can't help wondering how much of a future we really have, when I think about the issues that we have. The issues are the biggers ones; religion, children, etc.

You're dating a 22 year old boy??

If I were you, I'd be asking myself some tough questions.
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Old 06-29-2012, 01:11 AM
 
1,171 posts, read 1,944,388 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Beer View Post
What kind of 32 year old man is dying to meet a single mother?
Who said 32 was the cap. 33-45 ARE interested too. They pick up where the boys left off!
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Old 06-29-2012, 02:04 AM
 
Location: Southern California
15,083 posts, read 20,391,397 times
Reputation: 10343
Quote:
Originally Posted by HippyDreamer80 View Post
I am dating a younger man--I am 32 and he is 10 years my junior. He is a great guy and he treats me very well. However, lately, a lot of issues are coming up that put the age difference right out there. It's the proverbial elephant in the room. We know it's there, but we avoid talking about it out-right.

This guy wants children some day. I don't really know that I do want more children (I have one child-a 9 year old-from a previous relationship). He has several hobbies that he enjoys doing, but seems to be under the impression that the time he spends on those hobbies should not change at all if and when we move in together.

On the weekends, he usually spends most of his time here. This past Sunday he couldn't wait to get out of here, much earlier than usual. I invited him over for dinner a couple of nights ago and he declined. He declined because he's recently resumed playing an online RPG. I am starting to feel a little like his hobbies are more important.

And I can't help wondering how much of a future we really have, when I think about the issues that we have. The issues are the biggers ones; religion, children, etc.
A little? He'd rather play a video game than be with you?

[a video game? ]
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Old 06-29-2012, 02:09 AM
 
1,171 posts, read 1,944,388 times
Reputation: 621
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lariat View Post
For most, at 22, they don't want a relationship. They want pusssy. You're one of his hobbies.
While the 35-40 year old wants to marry them. Let the 22 year old go play his WoW and jam rap until the rooster crows. lol
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Old 06-29-2012, 02:15 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,993 posts, read 8,892,899 times
Reputation: 8105
Few years back, I dated someone 15 years younger than me.
We got on great, the relationship was stable, we loved each other ok, and the age difference did not present any problems.

However, after about 3 years, she decided she wanted kids.
I didn't.

There's no compromise on this one, I'm afraid, no matter how hard you try it's impossible to meet in the middle.

Eventually she decided she wanted kids more than she wanted me and left.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HippyDreamer80 View Post
This guy wants children some day. I don't really know that I do want more children
This guy is only 22.
Do a search on here, and see how many of the younger members of the forum think it's cool to be "banging" an older woman, and observe their attitudes.

If he'd rather play an online game than be with you, then that speaks volumes, I'm afraid.
Yes, it's important that we keep our hobbies in a relationship to keep our sense of "self", but this doesn't sound healthy.
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