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It's a long story but I accidently spent an evening at a lesbian bar in El Paso Texas several years ago. What I found (and it surprised me) was that the butch lesbians hung out with each other and partnered up together while the pretty "lipstick lesbians" hung out with each other as well. I saw little interaction between the groups.
Is this like the equivalent of an 8th grade dance where the men stand on one side and the women on the other? Or are you just saying the groups seemed to be hooking up with their similar types?
Quote:
Originally Posted by nimchimpsky
Exactly. I love butch women (I love femme women and androgynous women too) but a butch woman is incredibly different from a man in bed. You know, the whole, having a vagina instead of a penis kind of makes it different.
BTW, it's considered polite to use the pronoun corresponding to the gender that a transgender person is transitioning into. Therefore, a male-to-female transsexual would be referred to as she, and female-to-male, as he.
NOTED. I claim ignorance on that one since I have never really been faced with the conundrum of trying to describe her.
Women are more attracted by personality traits than by looks. A confidant tom could probably manage to get even normally straight women in bed ..... a few drinks, a little neck massage, male mannerisms would do it.
Seeing oneself as a woman who simply prefers the sexual company of other women shouldn't, in my estimate, be enough to drive someone to a bad haircut, a walk to rival mine and a fairly strict deviation in fashion from other women in the work and social group. There's some further fiend nudging the arm there toward what may only be termed outward manifestations of masculinity.[/b]
Many of those manifestations may be culturally conditioned, but this IS our culture, the one to which we're born and reared.
If you did think that a lesbian could convince you into having sex with her then you would be bi not straight. There are a number of lesbians that look at straight women as potential conquest and bi women as lesbians in denial.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun
If you did think that a lesbian could convince you into having sex with her then you would be bi not straight. There are a number of lesbians that look at straight women as potential conquest and bi women as lesbians in denial.
Definitely, some lesbians definitely don't think straight women are off limits and love to support studies that support the premise that all women are bi. Maybe they are, but then maybe all men are. It's a minority, I think, but they're out there.
too pretty feminine women in a lesbian relationship is good recipe for a friendship but not a romantic relationship. too much drama and competition. someone has to be more masculine dominant for the romantic relationship role to develop
I'm sure it can work romantically, but I see where you are coming from. Most any straight or even Bi woman that I have ever gone out with expects me to act like a man. That is to take traditional roles as decision maker, protector, provider, etc. I don't always care to be put into the roles because I don't really care for the responsibility, but it seems to be a role that is expected by 100% of the women that I have been romantically involved with. There are innate male and female characteristics that are hard coded into us and as much as modern humans would like us to be 100% the same it's not going to happen.
I'm not sure a Lesbian or Gay person can really identify with the innate human responses of a straight man or woman. Without having the hard wiring of a man/woman being sexually attracted to one another how could you identify. A typical Lesbian is repulsed by the idea of being in contact sexually with a man, even though for 90X percent of the population it is the most natural thing in the world; Ying and Yang, Masculine and Feminine connectivity etc. Likewise, I could not understand, innately how a gay couple could be sexually attracted to one another.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,029,399 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun
I'm sure it can work romantically, but I see where you are coming from. Most any straight or even Bi woman that I have ever gone out with expects me to act like a man. That is to take traditional roles as decision maker, protector, provider. I don't always care to be put into the roles because I don't really care for the responsibility, but it seems to be a role that is expected by 100% of the women that I have been romantically involved with. There are innate male and female characteristics that are hard coded into us and as much as modern humans would like us to be 100% the same it's not going to happen.
I'm not sure a Lesbian or Gay person can really identify with the innate human responses of a straight man or woman. Without having the hard wiring of a man/woman being sexually attracted to one another how could you identify. A typical Lesbian is repulsed by the idea of being in contact with sexually with a man, even though for 90X percent of the population it is the most natural thing in the world; Ying and Yang, Masculine and Feminine connectivity etc. Likewise, I could not understand, innately how a gay couple could be sexually attracted to one another.
Truly bi women seem more open minded, but there are some hypocritical bi women who like to play around with women but shun bi men.
Truly bi women seem more open minded, but there are some hypocritical bi women who like to play around with women but shun bi men.
I've thought the same thing myself, that Bi woman and men would have to be very open relative to they're Straight and Gay counterparts. I was seeing a woman a few years ago that was openly Bi but who had said she had not had an equitable relationship with another woman sexually. She identified herself as Bi but said it was unlikely that she would be in another relationship with another woman. She would also say "Tongue in cheek" there was too much Estrogen in a Female/Female relationship.
"women who like to play around with women but shun bi men"
True. A Bi man coming out will be ostracized by most all woman and Straight men.
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LS Jaun
If you did think that a lesbian could convince you into having sex with her then you would be bi not straight. There are a number of lesbians that look at straight women as potential conquest and bi women as lesbians in denial.
I think most people are POTENTIALLY bi, given the right circumstances. There's a continuum from pure straight to pure gay, with most people falling in between but more of one than the other.
In California, it's really not that unusual for women in bars to pair off for sex after a night of drinking (indicated by touching and dancing before leaving), more often than the stats indicate, in my opinion. Often at the encouragement of their husbands or boyfriends if they're allowed for a menage-a-troi. The culture here actually encourages and praises homosexual experimentation, so we see all the "shades of gay".
On the other hand, as recently as the 1950s in the Midwest such a thing would be unheard of, people who were mostly gay could be stuck in hetero marriages all their lives. Gay sex was actually against the law most places, and guys especially were actually thrown into jail if discovered - in addition religion was taken seriously by many more people ...... so such behavior was very rare. That's still true but to a much lesser extent.
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Why do pretty feminine lesbians like to pair with masculine tom boys?
