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Old 07-01-2012, 11:04 AM
 
1,882 posts, read 4,607,594 times
Reputation: 2683

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I got a buddy that is doing something I think is wrong. He is seeing a girl(both in their 40's) that has a boyfriend of 2 yrs. The girl and bf only see each other on weekends due to locations, and my buddy is see'n her every once in a while during the week. Started out as just friends, have a drink type thing. buddy has been divorced for about a yr and is just getting back in the game. Now he kissed her and i guess she kissed back. nothing else, he says.

I think its wrong, but i have never seen him so happy. he is "bright" now, if ya know what i mean. He says i just don't understand. i guess they get along great. she is a good person, but i just don't get this. but im out of the loop as i'm just now getting a divorce. i don't know all the dang rules, don't want to i got kids to raise.

i want my buddy happy, but don't want him hurt or do something that God would not look well upon.

Do ya support him, or tell him to quit?

BTW, its been going on for about 3-4 weeks now.
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Old 07-01-2012, 11:16 AM
 
5,472 posts, read 7,583,992 times
Reputation: 5793
If hes your bud and its something you think about, just mention it to him and tell him it bothers you. She may be looking for an upgrade (as often seems to be the case) or to get out of a LDR, which isnt working for her. I wouldnt get too involved other than just a simple conversation. Its his life and if thats something that makes him happy, you should let him roll with it.
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Old 07-01-2012, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,393 posts, read 30,832,320 times
Reputation: 16642
Not really your position to say anything. I think if it were my friend I would say that I don't really agree with what he's doing and that he's setting himself up for trouble... but I wouldn't say more than that. He's your friend, you aren't anyone to judge him past that.
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Old 07-01-2012, 11:30 AM
 
4,837 posts, read 8,836,089 times
Reputation: 3026
For the modern woman, isn't this just considered having a "gaggle" - whether she is married or not?

Having men for every need is the new thing:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/...rticle4362778/

Your friend must consider whether he's being used!
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Old 07-01-2012, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,393 posts, read 30,832,320 times
Reputation: 16642
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck View Post
For the modern woman, isn't this just considered having a "gaggle" - whether she is married or not?

Having men for every need is the new thing:

The new way to date: Don

Your friend must consider whether he's being used!
There's probably a 3rd guy in the picture somewhere




I don't see how the OP's friend could be so happy in a situation like that though. It's one thing to just have a **** buddy or something, but to be so happy over a situation like this is a bit alarming.
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Old 07-01-2012, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Georgia, on the Florida line, right above Tallahassee
10,471 posts, read 15,786,226 times
Reputation: 6435
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post
Not really your position to say anything. I think if it were my friend I would say that I don't really agree with what he's doing and that he's setting himself up for trouble... but I wouldn't say more than that. He's your friend, you aren't anyone to judge him past that.
Beat me to it.
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Old 07-01-2012, 12:15 PM
 
3,762 posts, read 5,400,050 times
Reputation: 4832
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Cave Man View Post
I got a buddy that is doing something I think is wrong. He is seeing a girl(both in their 40's) that has a boyfriend of 2 yrs. The girl and bf only see each other on weekends due to locations, and my buddy is see'n her every once in a while during the week. Started out as just friends, have a drink type thing. buddy has been divorced for about a yr and is just getting back in the game. Now he kissed her and i guess she kissed back. nothing else, he says.

I think its wrong, but i have never seen him so happy. he is "bright" now, if ya know what i mean. He says i just don't understand. i guess they get along great. she is a good person, but i just don't get this. but im out of the loop as i'm just now getting a divorce. i don't know all the dang rules, don't want to i got kids to raise.

i want my buddy happy, but don't want him hurt or do something that God would not look well upon.

Do ya support him, or tell him to quit?

BTW, its been going on for about 3-4 weeks now.
They are both single in the sense that neither is married to someone else. It certainly isn't fair to the weekend boyfriend if they don't have an agreement to see other people. And someone is going to end up getting hurt. On the other hand someone could end up very happy. That's life I guess. So I'm going to withhold being my judgmental self.
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Old 07-01-2012, 12:59 PM
 
1,834 posts, read 2,010,122 times
Reputation: 4351
She is unmarried. The weekend boyfriend has not seen fit to commit to this woman, so she is free in God's eyes to take up with someone else if she wants to. But she needs to be honest with all parties.
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Old 07-01-2012, 01:11 PM
 
13,498 posts, read 18,106,969 times
Reputation: 37885
Quote:
Originally Posted by forum_browser View Post
She is unmarried. The weekend boyfriend has not seen fit to commit to this woman, so she is free in God's eyes to take up with someone else if she wants to. But she needs to be honest with all parties.
Excellent summary. And all other parties should just butt out.
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Old 07-01-2012, 01:18 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,075 posts, read 107,068,415 times
Reputation: 115874
What we don't know is the status of the weekend relationship. It could be unravelling, and she could be looking for a way out. As far as you know, she could be on the verge of breaking up with the weekend guy, and is just as happy with the weekday guy as he is with her. We don't have all the facts. It could be that the new guy does have all the facts.
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