How many women are initially attracted to promiscuous men... (date, wife, marriage)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,034,272 times
Reputation: 11862
Advertisements
The James Bond thread got me thinking.
If those successful, popular guys are getting more than their fair share of women and sex (single or even attached), and they have what it takes to make women fall at their feet, wouldn't it follow that women would actually be attracted to a male who had good genes, who was sowing his seeds as far and wide as possible? It would broadcast the fact that he is stronger/fitter...
I guess I'm talking about the initial stage of attraction but also what follows. Maybe not so much the promiscuity itself, but I think the sleeping around with a lot of women is definitely intrinsically linked with being popular and having those desirable attributes. It's no secret that women tend to like men who are successful with women in general, and most of them aren't turned off with a guy who has say been with 50 women. I would also say, as a rule, that someone who is serially so promiscuous is probably more likely to cheat.
So keeping that in mind, once these women bag these studs, do many realistically expect them to settle down and be satisfied with being totally faithful? I'm sure it happens, but often as not it's harder for these fellas to change to accept the fact that they're only allowed their one and only. The paradox is that that is what initially attracted her towards him, yet now she suddenly wants to 'transform' him now that he's hers.
On the other hand, she rejects the hopeless romantic who might not be the 'alpha male' type racking up a high tally...and so the cycle goes on. Some of these women complain that they can't tame these cassanovas that they were attracted to precisely for this reason.
Sooo... you aren't asking a question exactly, you are reviewing old talking points. Cool, but let's be clear why not. First, you have overstated the degree to which women might be attracted to "players". No woman I know would be attracted to a guy with a known kill tally of 50 women. About the only part of your post that holds true is that, in general, American women are very hot button about infidelity and most will put the kibosh on a relationship in which they discover infidelity. That they don't usually expect it nor are they prepared to dealing with it in any other fashion but ending the relationship outright is unfortunate. It is also unfortunate that the myth persists that only men are "James Bond" type Lothario's. Recent data shows that men and women now cheat in exactly equal proportion. Who knew? I had to wear a prototype GPS monitoring ankle bracelet during my marriage because of the presumption on the part of my ex-wife and her family and my family that me, being a man, would eventually cheat and that my ex had a right to know the moment I did and take proper legal action. Interesting that it was she who eventually did the cheating, secure in the knowledge that all eyes were on me. The cheating might never have been uncovered if I hadn't left her, for other reasons. Men are dogs but women are sneaky.
Sooo... you aren't asking a question exactly, you are reviewing old talking points. Cool, but let's be clear why not. First, you have overstated the degree to which women might be attracted to "players". No woman I know would be attracted to a guy with a known kill tally of 50 women. About the only part of your post that holds true is that, in general, American women are very hot button about infidelity and most will put the kibosh on a relationship in which they discover infidelity. That they don't usually expect it nor are they prepared to dealing with it in any other fashion but ending the relationship outright is unfortunate. It is also unfortunate that the myth persists that only men are "James Bond" type Lothario's. Recent data shows that men and women now cheat in exactly equal proportion. Who knew? I had to wear a prototype GPS monitoring ankle bracelet during my marriage because of the presumption on the part of my ex-wife and her family and my family that me, being a man, would eventually cheat and that my ex had a right to know the moment I did and take proper legal action. Interesting that it was she who eventually did the cheating, secure in the knowledge that all eyes were on me. The cheating might never have been uncovered if I hadn't left her, for other reasons. Men are dogs but women are sneaky.
H
what other options should they be considering? Staying with a cheater? Even if they aren't a cheater themselves? That sounds like a good deal
The OP is totally over-analyzing the whole situation. Basically promiscuous people are drawn to other promiscuous people. I've never known a male ho who married a bookworm female virgin, nor have I known a studious, strait-laced female marry some dude like Kanye West. Like generally sticks to like, with a few exceptions.
Personally, the male ho's I've known have without any exception repulsed me. I found them vapid, self-absorbed and insecure. They sat around speaking about their (real or imagined) "conquests." Promiscuous men are generally not like Don Draper in Mad Men. They are generally not sophisticated, debonair and handsome, at least outside the entertainment or music industry.
Quote:
I think the sleeping around with a lot of women is definitely intrinsically linked with being popular and having those desirable attributes.
And I think you're projecting. When I reflect on all the popular people I've known at work or in life almost none of them slept with a lot of people. Screwing anything that moves is not a "desirable attribute," and if you think it is, I hope you're no older than 18 or 19. And isn't this a massive double standard? So a man who nails 100 babes a year is a "desirable stud" in your eyes. What about a woman who sleeps with 100 different men in one year? Are they popular and "intrinsically valued?"
The OP is totally over-analyzing the whole situation. Basically promiscuous people are drawn to other promiscuous people. I've never known a male ho who married a bookworm female virgin, nor have I known a studious, strait-laced female marry some dude like Kanye West. Like generally sticks to like, with a few exceptions.
Personally, the male ho's I've known have without any exception repulsed me. I found them vapid, self-absorbed and insecure. They sat around speaking about their (real or imagined) "conquests." Promiscuous men are generally not like Don Draper in Mad Men. They are generally not sophisticated, debonair and handsome, at least outside the entertainment or music industry.
And I think you're projecting. When I reflect on all the popular people I've known at work or in life almost none of them slept with a lot of people. Screwing anything that moves is not a "desirable attribute," and if you think it is, I hope you're no older than 18 or 19. And isn't this a massive double standard? So a man who nails 100 babes a year is a "desirable stud" in your eyes. What about a woman who sleeps with 100 different men in one year? Are they popular and "intrinsically valued?"
Think about it.
I dunno - I think I might be one of the exceptions. I've tended to date fairly promiscuous men, but I haven't had all that many partners myself. But I think there's a certain distinction to be made: None of the guys I've dated have been "belt-notchers." Meaning, they're not going around talking up their conquests or bragging - more they are high-sex-drive individuals who, when they are not in a committed relationship, feel free to hook up when there is a mutual attraction.
I'm similarly high-drive when it comes to sex, so there's never been a conflict in that regard in my relationships. Given that they have been more about just having lots of sex rather than how many partners they can rack up, I've never really worried about my significant others cheating during our relationships.
That said, I do not find promiscuity to be necessarily attractive - but I'm not going to judge someone just based on the number of partners they've had. If they'll obsessively sleep with anyone that comes down the pike, that's a problem - and kind of seems like a mental illness. But if they view it as getting together for a mutually enjoyable activity, I have a hard time finding fault with it.
hate to say it but they like competition. initially they like a man that other women want, unfortunately once they get a man that every woman wants they dont like it.
aside from the intial ego rush aka vanity shot, wanting and getting are not the same.
I had to wear a prototype GPS monitoring ankle bracelet during my marriage because of the presumption on the part of my ex-wife and her family and my family that me, being a man, would eventually cheat and that my ex had a right to know the moment I did and take proper legal action. Interesting that it was she who eventually did the cheating, secure in the knowledge that all eyes were on me. The cheating might never have been uncovered if I hadn't left her, for other reasons. Men are dogs but women are sneaky.
That's how it usually works, when one spouse is constantly suspecting the other of cheating, but for no reason, no evidence, no behavioral indications. They're projecting their own cheating (and guilt) onto their spouse. There may be a few cases of people who have experienced so many cheating SO's, that their trust is broken, and so the suspicion comes from their past experiences. But if someone is constantly, irrationally, and vehemently accusing their SO of cheating, it's usually because the accuser is the one who's cheating. It's a red flag. A flashing neon red flag.
That's really weird, Leisesturm. Why would you put up with wearing a bracelet if there were no solid reason to suspect you? Who requires the wearing of an electronic bracelet for (suspected) cheating, anyway? Is there more to this story? What country was this in? Germany? (I'm guessing, by your username.)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
