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I don't understand the OP. Why play games, if you like the guy? Call him up, ask him out, or ask him over and cook him a meal. Greet him at the door with a big kiss and smile. Tons of guys would love to have someone that's positive, optimistic, fun, loving and giving. (And that doesn't mean sex.) When I was young, a girl was kind of flirty and fun, and we ended up dating for three years. I got real interested because she was real interested in me.
Last edited by augiedogie; 07-09-2012 at 10:46 AM..
Reason: Forgot something
Tons of guys would love to have someone that's positive, optimistic, fun, loving and giving. (And that doesn't mean sex.) When I was young, a girl was kind of flirty and fun, and we ended up dating for three years. I got real interested because she was real interested in me.
This is it. It's the fun aspect that helps make people attractive.
Stop seeing it as "dating" and just get out there and meet people. You're not a bad looking lass from what you've said in your posts, but I feel like you (and others) take a far too business-like approach to meeting the opposite sex. The online dating thing is very hit & miss (more miss than hit), so just get out there and approach men who you feel you have stuff in common with or join something where you can find people with common interests and be a bit flexible on your "standards".
Yep...it is depressing sometimes, but I think you're just too focused on finding someone. You have to try to just say okay - I'm going to meet a new person and enjoy a conversation and some drinks and that's it. I've gotten myself into trouble by placing too many expectations on a first date or getting really excited about a good first date and then being disappointed later. I do online dating too and it's hard - getting ready, having the same first date tell me about yourself conversations over and over, and 99% of the time having it go nowhere. Plus, I don't think people are very accountable online. I've met guys who stopped e-mailing, I went on a first date last Tuesday with someone I liked and haven't heard from him even though he sent an after date follow up text and said he would call...whatever. You have to try not to take anything personally. And to be fair I've disappeared on guys too if I met someone or got busy or decided they did something that made me no longer interested.
30 isn't 50. You still have time to meet someone and have kids. Remember that you can go on a million dates but it only takes meeting that one right person. Things change fast too. The next guy you go out with might be amazing and next year at this time you'll be telling us you're married and pregnant!
Yep...it is depressing sometimes, but I think you're just too focused on finding someone. You have to try to just say okay - I'm going to meet a new person and enjoy a conversation and some drinks and that's it. I've gotten myself into trouble by placing too many expectations on a first date or getting really excited about a good first date and then being disappointed later. I do online dating too and it's hard - getting ready, having the same first date tell me about yourself conversations over and over, and 99% of the time having it go nowhere. Plus, I don't think people are very accountable online. I've met guys who stopped e-mailing, I went on a first date last Tuesday with someone I liked and haven't heard from him even though he sent an after date follow up text and said he would call...whatever. You have to try not to take anything personally. And to be fair I've disappeared on guys too if I met someone or got busy or decided they did something that made me no longer interested.
30 isn't 50. You still have time to meet someone and have kids. Remember that you can go on a million dates but it only takes meeting that one right person. Things change fast too. The next guy you go out with might be amazing and next year at this time you'll be telling us you're married and pregnant!
i feel its hard, i fell for this girl that has a lot in common with me and has a great sense of humor only to find out that she has a laundry list for things she looks for in a guy (has to be a democrat..etc) its just dumb, shes in her mid 20s but treats dating like the next guy she meets she has to marry rather than just see what happens.
i feel its hard, i fell for this girl that has a lot in common with me and has a great sense of humor only to find out that she has a laundry list for things she looks for in a guy (has to be a democrat..etc) its just dumb, shes in her mid 20s but treats dating like the next guy she meets she has to marry rather than just see what happens.
This laundry list thing is starting to ring a bell. This comes from pop psychology, and some real psychologists advocate this. They say that if you make a list of all the characteristics you want in a partner, somehow magically the right person will appear. The idea seems to be that if you clarify your intent, you won't spend so much time flailing around, and confused about whether this or that person might be right for you. They say it also helps you prioritize, and realize that eye/hair color aren't that important, but compassion and a loyal, supportive nature are. But this advice was never meant to be taken literally, as a shopping list. It seems like something got lost, or misinterpreted, in the translation into pop women's magazines.
The thing about love is that you can't order a custom-made person to fit your requirements. You have to be open to serendipity. Carrying around a "must have" list in your mind cuts you off from that. If love is anything, it's completely unpredictable and serendipitous. It's something pretty well out of our control. To try to exert control over this mysterious force is to kill it.
This laundry list thing is starting to ring a bell. This comes from pop psychology, and some real psychologists advocate this. They say that if you make a list of all the characteristics you want in a partner, somehow magically the right person will appear. The idea seems to be that if you clarify your intent, you won't spend so much time flailing around, and confused about whether this or that person might be right for you. They say it also helps you prioritize, and realize that eye/hair color aren't that important, but compassion and a loyal, supportive nature are. But this advice was never meant to be taken literally, as a shopping list. It seems like something got lost, or misinterpreted, in the translation into pop women's magazines.
The thing about love is that you can't order a custom-made person to fit your requirements. You have to be open to serendipity. Carrying around a "must have" list in your mind cuts you off from that. If love is anything, it's completely unpredictable and serendipitous. It's something pretty well out of our control. To try to exert control over this mysterious force is to kill it.
i agree, and i feel like the older one gets its not so much they settle but realize all the things that arent important. For those women that think a guy should have this car and this type of job and look this way and that way.... so if the guy has all that and you guys have an awful marriage which leads to divorce, what really mattered? The money and status or the fact that you guys could love and be supportive of each other?
i agree, and i feel like the older one gets its not so much they settle but realize all the things that arent important. For those women that think a guy should have this car and this type of job and look this way and that way.... so if the guy has all that and you guys have an awful marriage which leads to divorce, what really mattered? The money and status or the fact that you guys could love and be supportive of each other?
I would like to date a man who is confident with who he is, and doesn't need to date, just to get out of the house...he is patient and kind and enjoys life...I don't care what job he has or how much money he has or what college he attended. What I care is how he treats me, and he will treat me the same way he respects and treats himself.
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