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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skydive Outlaw
Ok Bro Bot,
First things first, and I don't really know you so some or all of this advice might not be applicable to your situation but at this point you really do not have many options.
Now normally I charge $100 an hour for the Skydive Outlaw's full program (which would normally include some cognitive therapy, self-esteem building and changes to your entire life philosophy) but since this is a post you are going to have to trust me.
Regardless of how you look and you have already said you are not attractive:
01 Go tanning. I recommend Flare Tanning Lotion (bronzer) and alot of it at first along with some medium pressure action.
02 Start working out. Regardless of how much it hurts - hit the gym at least four days a week.
03 Get some ink. Nothing major like a full sleeve. Just something on your upper arm that might be partially visible when you are wearing a short sleeve shirt. You sound like a nerd and probably play XBox360 so pic something meaningful to you from one of the games you play like the dude from Halo or a killer dragon
04 Everyone has their own style, so this is just a general suggestion. Get some Affliction shirts (they look ridiculous but at this point, you need an image) because nothing says playa' like a guy that will spend $80 on a t-shirt. Remember to wash them regularly too.
Now, moving on to your psychological state of mind.
05 You need to have a take it or leave it attitude, and meet women and interract with them as if you have three or four hottery and younger ones waiting for you. Never seem too desperate and do not actively look for or seek out a "relationship". You need to develop an eye of the tiger mentality and although you want to be with a woman, you have to be strong enough to not NEED to be with one.
06 If you have money and the ability to spend it on women - act like you don't, and have to work really hard for what you have so that when you actually do something for her, it seems more important and like you really care about her. This will also directly eliminate any possible gold diggers. If you have resources and money, there are plenty of other more important things you can do with it then spend it on a woman, like fund your IRA every year (Roth and trraditional), make an extra mortgage payment every six months, buy guy toys and put into mutual funds. No woman that you meet at this point in your life is going to be around or care about you down the road anyway so take care of yourself first.
And to continue, you need to differeniate yourself from all of the other clowns that are in position to fight for the attention of the women that you are interested in. This involves an entire change in your personna and approach to life:
07 Take up a sport that the rest of the clowns would never consider when they are playing golf all weekend or sitting around some bar shoving chicken strips in their fat faces when watching games at Sports Bars. That's right - you need to take things to the next level and that involves all or just one of the following activities that keep the ladies interested: rock climbing, base jumping and/or skydiving. doing those will also build your self-esteem and personnal appraisal and evaluation of yourself and in the process increase your confidence level.
08 Consider your choice in vehicle wisely. Now that doesn't mean that you need the newest BMW, Corvette or Porsche to get the women, but at the same time don't drive around in a Honda Accord or Toyota Corolla. Pick a mode of trasnportation that defines you for what you are and signifies your image to the outside world.
In conclusion:
09 Explore other options and avenues of approach to hooking up with women. If you are only trying to meet women that are single, then you are putting yourself into a pool with tons of other guys and letting her subjective valuations determine who she chooses to go out with. Think outside of the box occasionally. Women that are in long term relationships and/or married that are miserable and seeking attention, adoration and sexual experiences outside of the facade and charade known as their lives away from you are great resources to tap into and they are just as readily available so long as you meet their terms and conditions (both stated and implied).
10 And finally. Believe in yourself. Do not let some woman, even if she is a 9 or a 10 define who you are by whether or not she wants to spend time with you, make you her boyfriend or redefine the meaning of the word orgasm over 50 different ways with you. You are a unique and special person with alot to offer the world and do not and should not require any type of validation from another human being in any way to meet your full life's potential, dreams, goals and aspirations. There is a woman out there waiting for you although you have not met her yet. You need to face the challenges, adversity and struggle that the task ahead has in store for you and meet it head on.
Sky-O
1. I'm black. Already taken care of.
2. I just got a cheap gym membership at work, I will start using it pronto.
3. Thinking about some ink. Probably a memorial to my dead dad or a tribute to my fav sports teams.
4. Not one to spend lavish on clothes but am a master to looking presentable on a budget.
5. So pretty much my f&*# it ain't enough?
6. I'm a finance guy so this comes naturally.
7. Think hunting or shooting off a few rounds would do the trick.
8. What's wrong with the Honda Accord? I own a old one and very close to buying a newer fully equipped one. Likely will customize it anyway to prevent the yuppie image.
9 and 10. I'll take these in consideration.
First things first, and I don't really know you so some or all of this advice might not be applicable to your situation but at this point you really do not have many options.
Now normally I charge $100 an hour for the Skydive Outlaw's full program (which would normally include some cognitive therapy, self-esteem building and changes to your entire life philosophy) but since this is a post you are going to have to trust me.
Regardless of how you look and you have already said you are not attractive:
01 Go tanning. I recommend Flare Tanning Lotion (bronzer) and alot of it at first along with some medium pressure action.
02 Start working out. Regardless of how much it hurts - hit the gym at least four days a week.
03 Get some ink. Nothing major like a full sleeve. Just something on your upper arm that might be partially visible when you are wearing a short sleeve shirt. You sound like a nerd and probably play XBox360 so pic something meaningful to you from one of the games you play like the dude from Halo or a killer dragon
04 Everyone has their own style, so this is just a general suggestion. Get some Affliction shirts (they look ridiculous but at this point, you need an image) because nothing says playa' like a guy that will spend $80 on a t-shirt. Remember to wash them regularly too.
Now, moving on to your psychological state of mind.
05 You need to have a take it or leave it attitude, and meet women and interract with them as if you have three or four hottery and younger ones waiting for you. Never seem too desperate and do not actively look for or seek out a "relationship". You need to develop an eye of the tiger mentality and although you want to be with a woman, you have to be strong enough to not NEED to be with one.
06 If you have money and the ability to spend it on women - act like you don't, and have to work really hard for what you have so that when you actually do something for her, it seems more important and like you really care about her. This will also directly eliminate any possible gold diggers. If you have resources and money, there are plenty of other more important things you can do with it then spend it on a woman, like fund your IRA every year (Roth and trraditional), make an extra mortgage payment every six months, buy guy toys and put into mutual funds. No woman that you meet at this point in your life is going to be around or care about you down the road anyway so take care of yourself first.
And to continue, you need to differeniate yourself from all of the other clowns that are in position to fight for the attention of the women that you are interested in. This involves an entire change in your personna and approach to life:
07 Take up a sport that the rest of the clowns would never consider when they are playing golf all weekend or sitting around some bar shoving chicken strips in their fat faces when watching games at Sports Bars. That's right - you need to take things to the next level and that involves all or just one of the following activities that keep the ladies interested: rock climbing, base jumping and/or skydiving. doing those will also build your self-esteem and personnal appraisal and evaluation of yourself and in the process increase your confidence level.
08 Consider your choice in vehicle wisely. Now that doesn't mean that you need the newest BMW, Corvette or Porsche to get the women, but at the same time don't drive around in a Honda Accord or Toyota Corolla. Pick a mode of trasnportation that defines you for what you are and signifies your image to the outside world.
In conclusion:
09 Explore other options and avenues of approach to hooking up with women. If you are only trying to meet women that are single, then you are putting yourself into a pool with tons of other guys and letting her subjective valuations determine who she chooses to go out with. Think outside of the box occasionally. Women that are in long term relationships and/or married that are miserable and seeking attention, adoration and sexual experiences outside of the facade and charade known as their lives away from you are great resources to tap into and they are just as readily available so long as you meet their terms and conditions (both stated and implied).
10 And finally. Believe in yourself. Do not let some woman, even if she is a 9 or a 10 define who you are by whether or not she wants to spend time with you, make you her boyfriend or redefine the meaning of the word orgasm over 50 different ways with you. You are a unique and special person with alot to offer the world and do not and should not require any type of validation from another human being in any way to meet your full life's potential, dreams, goals and aspirations. There is a woman out there waiting for you although you have not met her yet. You need to face the challenges, adversity and struggle that the task ahead has in store for you and meet it head on.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrVanNostren
To OP - Please don't give up based on online dating. It's not a good representation of actual dating.
Also, you live in DC. I had a gf when I lived there, and I thank a higher power every day that I did. I generally found most of the women in DC to be completely undateable. Point being, there are slim pickings. I have a few friends who did online dating in DC and had similar experiences. And they were good-looking guys with a lot to offer.
Good thing is, you are 6'4-6'5. Being tall is a huge plus. If you are indeed 22 and just finished college, you are way too young to 'give up'. I say find a good wingman and hit the bar scene.
Actually I am 24. DC may have something to do with it but to be fair, I didn't get any action either after actively trying in Louisville.
10 And finally. Believe in yourself. Do not let some woman, even if she is a 9 or a 10 define who you are by whether or not she wants to spend time with you, make you her boyfriend or redefine the meaning of the word orgasm over 50 different ways with you. You are a unique and special person with alot to offer the world and do not and should not require any type of validation from another human being in any way to meet your full life's potential, dreams, goals and aspirations. There is a woman out there waiting for you although you have not met her yet. You need to face the challenges, adversity and struggle that the task ahead has in store for you and meet it head on.
This part I agree with. Personally, I don't agree with the tatoo suggestion. It depends on what kind of women you want to attract. The car suggestion is interesting. The problem with Hondas and Toyotas is they're so reliable!! They're a great buy! Now I'm curious as to what our man drives.
I'm also curious as to what kind of women Dissenter usually approaches. If he's going mainly for top-tier women (i.e. going by appearance only, 9's or 10's), I'd say cast a wider net. What you want is someone you can get along with who shares your values, is drama-free, and cares about you.
I agree about the alcohol. That could be a liability down the road. Alcohol can destroy the best relationship. Even if you attain your dream, alcohol could end up trashing it. Be good to yourself. Don't start off life with bad habits. We're rooting for you, Diss!
Consider the last 24 hours the last straw for me and dating. I sent about 15 messages to women on a couple of dating sites. Not just hey how are you , but I read through their profiles and found a couple of things we could connect on, but that still isn't enough. Nearly all of them looked at my profile and read my message and not a single response.
I'm facing facts here. I'm not physically attractive. I'm not very interesting. I'm never going to have what a girl wants. I've got to accept it, dating and me are never going to mix.
(Alcohol and frustration are beginning to wear off)
Okay, just what the makes ladies respond to you when you ain't got much that they want?
Ok.. Here's what you do;
Post an online picture of a hot guy with great abs. Then insert a small picture of yourself on his nipple in a flesh tone.
When u meet you tell them you should have looked closer. You didn't lie. Lol!
Actually I am 24. DC may have something to do with it but to be fair, I didn't get any action either after actively trying in Louisville.
Rabbitluvr lives in DC and says the dating scene stinks. He says it's a meat market. But there are micro-environments in DC, with different types of people. Explore around. Also, there's nearby Maryland. Lots of diversity there, young professionals, like yourself.
A finance guy! Sounds like you have a bright future. Play your cards right, get some promotions. Women are interested in potentially good providers. Sounds promising!
P.S. I vote for the memorial to your dead dad. That's a very touching story. Women love that. It'll give you something to talk about when she notices it and asks what it's about. It presents an opportunity to get to know you more deeply. Plus I have the feeling it might help you feel better.
Skydives list has some pretty good points on it. Pay attention to #10. Women dont really have any interest in guys who think they have nothing to offer or arent the brightest bulb in the box. They do prefer guys who know exactly what they have to offer, know how to demonstrate it and feel like they are the prize that any woman would be happy to have. Many times its the difference between being rejected and given a shot, and thats all you really want. good luck.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
This part I agree with. Personally, I don't agree with the tatoo suggestion. It depends on what kind of women you want to attract. The car suggestion is interesting. The problem with Hondas and Toyotas is they're so reliable!! They're a great buy! Now I'm curious as to what our man drives.
I'm also curious as to what kind of women Dissenter usually approaches. If he's going mainly for top-tier women (i.e. going by appearance only, 9's or 10's), I'd say cast a wider net. What you want is someone you can get along with who shares your values, is drama-free, and cares about you.
I agree about the alcohol. That could be a liability down the road. Alcohol can destroy the best relationship. Even if you attain your dream, alcohol could end up trashing it. Be good to yourself. Don't start off life with bad habits. We're rooting for you, Diss!
Well I stated earlier that I drive an Accord and will be trading it in for a newer one. Honda is a great friend for a guy who likes value.
As to the women I approach. I don't do that numbers . Usually I tend to like women with curves and meat on their bones. I would probably not approach the tens (excuse me, America's idea of a 10) anyway.
I don't even really drink much. Last night was a rarity. I only drank that much partying it up in Louisville. I guess I was just that frustrated (with this issue and dealing with a move) and needed a wild night.
As an experiment I sent FIFTY messages, highlighting that I loved to do the same stuff they talked about. Told them that I live in a house have a car a boat and a steady job.
I got 5 replies and none of them panned out to be ANYTHING!!!
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, but I read through their profiles and found a couple of things we could connect on, but that still isn't enough. Nearly all of them looked at my profile and read my message and not a single response. 
