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I would let something like that roll right off my back. Too many other fish in the sea.
I will confess to doing that to someone once, after having one date with him, but he kind of deserved it. I went away on a business trip. I left on a Wednesday. The work part of the trip ended the following Tuesday, but I was going to stay in the city for an extra day to take in the sights, and come back on Thursday. I said I'd contact him that weekend as I knew I'd be busy playing catch-up at the office on Friday and just wanted Friday night to detox, get my laundry done, etc.
Well, he looked up the meeting online, saw that it ended Tuesday, and called me on Wednesday. Twice on the cell phone (once when it was WAY early in the time zone where I was and once when I was in a museum and wasn't about to answer it) and twice on my work phone. I wasn't even back yet. That evening I texted that I was still in the other city for some sightseeing and I'd get in touch over the weekend. He texted "ok." Then he called twice on Thursday, once on my cell while I was in the air and once at my office. When I got to work Friday morning, there were three emails from him, asking where I was, in addition to all the voicemails he left.
At that point, I was pretty aggravated. So I ignored him. He called SIX more times over the weekend.
That Monday he called my office three times, my cell phone twice, and then sent an email to my work account lecturing me about responsibility and threatening to contact my boss. This guy was 38!
Finally, when he called the office for the fourth time in one day (and let me just say that is the LAST time I ever give my business card to someone I only had one date with) I answered it and asked what part of "I will call you over the weekend" did he not understand, lectured HIM on responsibility with haranguing people at work, and told him never to bother me again. I also told him I understood why his wife left him. Too much of a control freak.
Pretty simple. It's pretty much a consequence of learning social skills via texting, skype, and instant messaging, instead of learning to actually TALK to people.
If it's not easier to talk to people on those mediums, how is it going to be easier in real life? She may have social anxiety.
No, I would just stop replying to her texts and vanish with no explanation- so that she would never know if I am dead or alive or what happened to me. What a society of losers we live in!
Exactly!
I just had this conversation with a friend about 'disappearing off the face of the earth' and I'm happy to report that she and I are on the same page - it's all BS, only for small-minded fools. We made a 'pledge' to never do that to each other... no matter what happens.
Thank GOD there are still some people left out there with a decent sense of... well, decency.
No, I would just stop replying to her texts and vanish with no explanation- so that she would never know if I am dead or alive or what happened to me. What a society of losers we live in!
I don't condone "ghosting" but I doubt many online daters give that much consideration to a person they haven't even met and established some kind of relationship with. I'm not saying that makes it right, but just that it's easy to say what you WOULD do in the situation, but do you actually have a concrete example of having done so in the past?
Online daters of the world know how confusing/frustrating/annoying it is when someone who sounded interest in meeting has disappeared or "ghosted" with no explanation or goodbye. Rational thought turns to the saying "then they weren't interested enough or I don't want to be with someone like that anyway". But dating is hard and sometimes people get discouraged or frustrated.
My situation I'm referring to is a girl who emailed me first on OKC: we had a high match percentage and we had some good conversation through emails and phone. We were planning to meet up soon when she got back in town and now she hasnt responded for days to my call or text. I went online and noticed that she took down her dating profile. There's a chance she met someone and is pursuing that relationship, but my gut tells me that she is maybe sick of dating or she got frustrated or scared. Usually I just move on, this has happened to me a lot lately (more than usual) but it no longer bothers me anymore as I'm much more comfortable with myself to accept it.
What I'm trying to get at is that I'm thinking of texting her one last time to see if I can't change her mind about meeting and maybe even just being friends if she's not up for dating. We had a lot in common and I was looking forward to meeting her. What would you say if you were in my shoes? I'm thinking something like "hey, I realize you probably aren't interested in dating at this time but I really did enjoy talking to you and if you're open to meeting up one time as friends I am still open to the idea. Hope you're doing well."
just move on. this is what i've been trying to tell y'all on this forum, but nobody listens... this is the norm for online dating for young men. What you're describing, I've had happen probably 30 or 40 times, where the person disappears with no explanation (usually between the time we schedule a date, and actually meet.) It took me a while to get used to it.
you have more guys than girls... you have a lot of girls who just want the ego boost, no intention of going out with anyone online... you have a relatively small # of girls who are willing to meet anyone, and they are going to be sorting through a mountain of dudes' emails. Put all that together and you realize it is an extremely poor way for men to meet women.
My advice is: don't think of online daters as people until you actually meet, because they sure as sh*t won't be treating you like a human.
I would let something like that roll right off my back. Too many other fish in the sea.
I will confess to doing that to someone once, after having one date with him, but he kind of deserved it. I went away on a business trip. I left on a Wednesday. The work part of the trip ended the following Tuesday, but I was going to stay in the city for an extra day to take in the sights, and come back on Thursday. I said I'd contact him that weekend as I knew I'd be busy playing catch-up at the office on Friday and just wanted Friday night to detox, get my laundry done, etc.
Well, he looked up the meeting online, saw that it ended Tuesday, and called me on Wednesday. Twice on the cell phone (once when it was WAY early in the time zone where I was and once when I was in a museum and wasn't about to answer it) and twice on my work phone. I wasn't even back yet. That evening I texted that I was still in the other city for some sightseeing and I'd get in touch over the weekend. He texted "ok." Then he called twice on Thursday, once on my cell while I was in the air and once at my office. When I got to work Friday morning, there were three emails from him, asking where I was, in addition to all the voicemails he left.
At that point, I was pretty aggravated. So I ignored him. He called SIX more times over the weekend.
That Monday he called my office three times, my cell phone twice, and then sent an email to my work account lecturing me about responsibility and threatening to contact my boss. This guy was 38!
Finally, when he called the office for the fourth time in one day (and let me just say that is the LAST time I ever give my business card to someone I only had one date with) I answered it and asked what part of "I will call you over the weekend" did he not understand, lectured HIM on responsibility with haranguing people at work, and told him never to bother me again. I also told him I understood why his wife left him. Too much of a control freak.
What. An. Idiot.
And this guy was married once? How does marriage even happen with someone who acts like that....?
Good story, but I am sure it was not cool to live through.
I would definately rather be ghosted than go through that!
Oh please, don't try to change things around. I quoted YOUR OWN WORDS. It is here for everyone on CD to see. You claimed that you never ghosted on guys. Then 2 weeks later, you admitted you did. Now you are trying to backtrack. You are a fader, and by your definition, a coward. Now, how does THAT feel?
Next time, ensure that your stuff does not stink before you start acting all high and mighty. I can't believe you have the gall to backtrack when it's all here in broad daylight.
#Fake people on CD.
Worked up much over someone you don't know on CD??? Wow.
I would respond to being ghosted by moving forward and forgetting about that person.
What is the point of getting fixated on someone who is not interested in me? I don't do stalking or stalkers. *blech*
Exactly. I used to get worked up over ghosting, and still would if I had been dating the guy for awhile...but every time it's happened to me, if I don't hear from the guy after a week, I write him off. Just not worth worrying about...and I don't get it when people keep calling/texting...haven't you read/seen the movie "He's just not that into you"???
Exactly. I used to get worked up over ghosting, and still would if I had been dating the guy for awhile...but every time it's happened to me, if I don't hear from the guy after a week, I write him off. Just not worth worrying about...and I don't get it when people keep calling/texting...haven't you read/seen the movie "He's just not that into you"???
The last time it happened to me, I really didn't see it coming. I had had several dates with the guy (that I thought went well), he had been contacting me every day and then all of a sudden I just stopped hearing from him, so my first thought was to be concerned about his well being. I soon found out after I tried to contact him a few times that he was perfectly ok, but had just decided that he was done with me. lol I think a lot of people are initially in denial when ghosting happens because it sucks when someone who you're really interested in does that to you and you'd like to think that there's an explanation for it all, but I will no longer attempt to contact guys who I'm casually dating that disappear for whatever reason. I might check the news a few times to make sure they aren't on it, but after that I'm done.
The last time it happened to me, I really didn't see it coming. I had had several dates with the guy (that I thought went well), he had been contacting me every day and then all of a sudden I just stopped hearing from him, so my first thought was to be concerned about his well being. I soon found out after I tried to contact him a few times that he was perfectly ok, but had just decided that he was done with me. lol I think a lot of people are initially in denial when ghosting happens because it sucks when someone who you're really interested in does that to you and you'd like to think that there's an explanation for it all, but I will no longer attempt to contact guys who I'm casually dating that disappear for whatever reason. I might check the news a few times to make sure they aren't on it, but after that I'm done.
Ugh, that situation I do hate!!! I have to admit that if i like a guy and things seemed to go well, I'll try like 1 text to see if he'll respond (I don't usually initiate texts bc heaven forbid a guy might actually think I like him and get turned off bc I "chased" him! ). But after that it's just not worth my time to worry over it
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). But after that it's just not worth my time to worry over it 
