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Another thing to consider is that a lot of women like to set other women up simply because they're bored and just like to busy themselves with that like a hobby to pass the time.
I guess some of it is based on past experience, but some of it I just don't go for. Unless you are recently unemployed I can get a reason not to have a job. I'm not taking care of anyone financially or driving them around.
I always think about the movie Baby Boy where the boyfriend drops the girlfriend off at work and goes to pick up another girl with her car. That reminds me about mama's boys....*sigh*
LOL...I know several women who are driving around men without cars. I wouldn't do it either!
Today, I was informed by some of my friends at work that I am just too picky. It came up because this new guy started today. So, my two closest friends at work ask me if I saw the new guy. I was like yeah...So they're like well what do you think? I was like he seems okay, kinda young and a little on the short side. I am 33 and that guy clearly looks 25 at the most. I just have always preferred guys closer to my age or older. Then they start complaining that I am just too picky. Both of them are married. Friend # 1, I have known one for almost 6 years (she's one of my BF) & Friend # 2 for about 2 years.
This isn't the first time they wanted to hook me up someone. I really don't think I ask too much. I would like someone employed, with a motor vehicle, no criminal record, not living at home with their parents.
Of course I have preferences like no kids, but I will look over that. I love a hot guy, but he doesn't have to be. I just need to find something attractive. I like tall guys, but it's not necessary.
I don't think having standards is the same at being picky. If I was going after trash they would be complaining about that too. The last guy I was talking too Friend # 1 made me feel horrible about. I guess it bothered me a little bit, so I talked to Friend # 1 about it after work. She claimed she was mostly joking, but then said I needed to compromise on some things.
I don't want to be so ridiculous where I am alone forever, but dang!! I understand they want me happy. I want to be happy in a relationship too. I just think sometimes my married friends just don't understand because they have been married so long. They haven't dated in a long time. Both friends said if they went by the initial preferences they would have never married their husbands.
As many have said, so long as your standards aren't in direct contradiction with what you have to offer, then you are not being picky. Even if they do...well, people like what they like.
Anyway, as I've said repeatedly, it's surprising how a vast majority of people (especially women) are horrible at setting people up. Don't let them make you feel down. I've been set up several times and with few exceptions they were disasters. It was always my friend's wives who tried to make me feel horrible about it.
Also, don't let their nonsense fill your head either. Go with your instinct. As I always say, find a good single friend that you can go out with to meet people.
Today, I was informed by some of my friends at work that I am just too picky. It came up because this new guy started today. So, my two closest friends at work ask me if I saw the new guy. I was like yeah...So they're like well what do you think? I was like he seems okay, kinda young and a little on the short side. I am 33 and that guy clearly looks 25 at the most. I just have always preferred guys closer to my age or older. Then they start complaining that I am just too picky. Both of them are married. Friend # 1, I have known one for almost 6 years (she's one of my BF) & Friend # 2 for about 2 years.
This isn't the first time they wanted to hook me up someone. I really don't think I ask too much. I would like someone employed, with a motor vehicle, no criminal record, not living at home with their parents.
Of course I have preferences like no kids, but I will look over that. I love a hot guy, but he doesn't have to be. I just need to find something attractive. I like tall guys, but it's not necessary.
I don't think having standards is the same at being picky. If I was going after trash they would be complaining about that too. The last guy I was talking too Friend # 1 made me feel horrible about. I guess it bothered me a little bit, so I talked to Friend # 1 about it after work. She claimed she was mostly joking, but then said I needed to compromise on some things.
I don't want to be so ridiculous where I am alone forever, but dang!! I understand they want me happy. I want to be happy in a relationship too. I just think sometimes my married friends just don't understand because they have been married so long. They haven't dated in a long time. Both friends said if they went by the initial preferences they would have never married their husbands.
Here's the deal. I am sick of people telling me that too, btw. You have to know your fundamentals, your boundaries, your preferences, likes, dislikes, negotiables, non-negotiables, and your mandatory things.
IF you settle for anything other than what is too important, the relationship is going to be strained and is likely to end. IF you say to yourself, well he's ok, but...and you go for it anyway, you will tire of him, IF you compromise on what is crucial to you in life just to "have someone," that will eventually end, too. Perfection is impossible, 100% bullet points match-up is unlikely, BUT you must be attracted to the guy in the beginning. If you can't really see yourself kissing him, I doubt much more will last.
People love to say we are too picky, and most of the ones who say that are not real happy with the choices they may have made. The relationships that last are based on two people who do NOT have to sacrifice fundamentals to be with each other. Now-if you are only looking for casual, then the "too picky" argument is ok.
Tell these friends of yours that you are worth more than "compromise."
I don't think you are too picky. I just think you were not initially attracted to the guy. There's nothing wrong with that.
However, if you take the time to get to know him, your opinion and feelings may change. His personality may be the "attractive" quality that draws you in.
This is a concept I don't get. Attraction will cement a relationship for the long haul. How can you be physically unattracted to a man and then just "overlook" it becasue he's there and you are lonely? Getting to know someone you are not really attracted to is great for a FRIEND. I have attempted this theory/cliche before, and it does not work.
Unfortunately, it seems to be more difficult for the women with brains. Not that all fail to find good partners. I'm your age and didn't find the right man till three years ago. Wasn't till I raised my standards that he came along and I recognized a good thing.
Spot on. The more exceptional the woman, the harder it is to find as exceptional a guy. But that will never be a good reason to settle.
i've seen girls that are ridiculously picky that will not go out with a guy because of their political stance or what type of job they have... thats being picky.. having an education and being employed are not
A person's politics are not in a box, separate from the rest of their life. Just like a person's religion, these things need to match up for a long-term relationship. Again, if you are only looking for casual, none of this will need to matter. Your politics reflect your choices in life and how you live, your values. Yes, it matters.
I don't care "what" the job is, as long as there is one and the guy is driven and directed to be responsible.
Unfortunately, it seems to be more difficult for the women with brains. Not that all fail to find good partners. I'm your age and didn't find the right man till three years ago. Wasn't till I raised my standards that he came along and I recognized a good thing.
Are you talking about me again, darlin'...
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Happened to me 
