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So I've posted about this girl previously, but now I'm pretty stuck. I've been dating this girl since January. It's been casual. I know she likes me but she got out of a relationship because her ex cheated. I think she has feelings for her ex. She responds to texts from the ex and doesn't hide anything from me about the messages.. however a few days ago her ex sent a singing telegram and flowers to her job, a long with a trip to the Bahamas! I told her I was tired of hearing the drama between her and her ex because she wasnt making the situation better by keeping in contact. So now I don't know what to do. Because she's a very sweet girl, honest, caring, I want to keep her around and give her space. Something tells me I should leave. She says she doesn't want to be serious until the ex drama is resolved, but I think she wants the ex in her life. What to do?
She's having her cake and eating it too. What woman wouldn't want 2 men at her feet treating her like that! You're the nice rebound guy. Who books a trip for an "ex" if there weren't feelings there? They never ended that relationship. You know what I say? RUN FORREST. RUN.
Break up with her, she's clearly not over the ex, he's clearly not over her, and she's sorta "keeping you on retainer." Move on and find someone who has a stronger will and won't use you.
Dump the *****. She is not a "nice girl" She is no different than the scumbags because she is one. She is damaged irreparably. What kind of normal person knowingly wants to keep a scumbag like him around their life when that scumbag hurt them? That's right, she is not normal. Run while you have a chance and just be happy that you got away while she will live her life going from one douchebag to another getting abused along the way.
Sorry to tell you this, but you're with someone who is using you, whether she realizes it or not. So you're going to have to force the issue.
Simply say, "Look, I really want to be with you more than anything. And I prove that every day in the way I treat you. But I'm not going to compete with your ex. I am tired of the drama. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go away and let you think through this on your own. If you think you want to go back to a guy who cheated on you and treated you badly, then I won't stand in your way. If, on the other hand, you want to be with a guy who treats you in the way you deserve, then you have my number and I will be incredibly happy to hear from you. But I just am not interested in playing games anymore."
Say it nicely and leave. Don't look back. And don't answer her calls for a few days. If she doesn't call, you'll at least have your dignity, something you really don't have right now.
LOL the "ex" is wanting to take her to the Bahamas. If she goes let alone the fact she is keeping him on will call, get your head straight man cause you are close to singin' the blues.
Let her go, let her go back to the ex, let him cheat on her again, and let her come back to you after all that trying to get you back and then you say "haha no chance with me anymore baby".
Glad to hear you're going to take cpg's advice. You really deserve better and after almost 7 months it should be clear to her if she wants a relationship with you or not.
So I've posted about this girl previously, but now I'm pretty stuck. I've been dating this girl since January. It's been casual. I know she likes me but she got out of a relationship because her ex cheated. I think she has feelings for her ex. She responds to texts from the ex and doesn't hide anything from me about the messages.. however a few days ago her ex sent a singing telegram and flowers to her job, a long with a trip to the Bahamas! I told her I was tired of hearing the drama between her and her ex because she wasnt making the situation better by keeping in contact. So now I don't know what to do. Because she's a very sweet girl, honest, caring, I want to keep her around and give her space. Something tells me I should leave. She says she doesn't want to be serious until the ex drama is resolved, but I think she wants the ex in her life. What to do?
you answered your question. Huh dump her..... you deserve better.
Smart man. This is what I was going to recommend, but CPG said it as well as anyone can. The beauty of this is that you are opening up an opportunity for her to make a choice. Be ready to live with her choice, regardless of what it is. If she chooses you, awesome. If she does not, you can move on before it becomes more complicated and difficult.
Good luck to you.
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