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She is not "torn" between her ex and you. Being torn would require emotions and a conflict of emotions that stem from empathy and having a conscience. She might be acting like she is torn betweent the two of you to get an added drama effect, but the reality of the situation is far different.
She requires two men (a boyfriend and one on the perimeter) at all times and it does not matter who the chess pieces are in her little game. What she is doing, within the realm of a romantic relationship is called triangulation. It is a twisted game that involves her and then two men both seemingly positioning themselves for her attention and "love" (a love that she is incapable of experiencing or giving to another human being) and the drama that feeds off of the triangulation (real or imagined by all parties involved) is fuel for her existence which is devoid of any genuine feelings or ability to maintain an intimate and committed relationship with just one person. She is playing you off of him and vice versa. Both of you guys are just pawns at this point in the tragic attempts she makes to feed her ego and validate her existence. Of course she told you that the other guy sent her flowers at work and wants to take her on a trip. That is to get a reaction from you and make you work harder - once again for her attention and love. And do not claim that you are really not that into her or it is not serious. You wrote about your story on a discussion forum so you already crossed the line and indirectly admitted that you are into her.
Now to conclude. This process of triangulation will be a re-occurring theme in her life when she is in a relationship, so get use to it if you want to be with her. These female-cyborgs never change and their internal wiring is so screwed up that you might spend the best years of your life trying to figure her out, work harder to be the man she wants you to be and only to end up being devalued and discarded in the end wondering what you did wrong. And remember, she is not "torn" between either of you guys. You guys could cease to exist as of 9am tomorrow morning and their would be two more ready to go. A boyfriend and a guy on the side and she would be playing both of you against each other in the warped and pscyhotic game known as her life.
You do know you're showing your battle scars and hurt little feelers with crappy posts like this, right??
Perhaps, she's just confused and likes both, not sure how to deal with her feelings, maybe she doesn't to hurt the new guy because she may like him as well???
Gain some insight into human nature, it will serve you better in life...
I've never been in a situation similar to this so I'm not bitter. Fact is that it is bad enough she still has feelings for her ex, an ex who was loser enough to cheat on her and probably treated her badly, but the fact that she still has contact with him shows that she literally has no respect for the OP. She is disrespecting him and he is letting her get away with it. Even worse, she told OP about it, probably because she is a drama ***** who feeds off of attention and hopes that OP "fights" to get her back. That is not a healthy woman.
I've never been in a situation similar to this so I'm not bitter. Fact is that it is bad enough she still has feelings for her ex, an ex who was loser enough to cheat on her and probably treated her badly, but the fact that she still has contact with him shows that she literally has no respect for the OP. She is disrespecting him and he is letting her get away with it. Even worse, she told OP about it, probably because she is a drama ***** who feeds off of attention and hopes that OP "fights" to get her back. That is not a healthy woman.
If you were following along, you would know that the OP is not letting her get away with it. He spoke with her and she has made her decision. Perhaps you can now find it within you to offer some words of encouragement. Or not. But at least try to keep up.
If she is texting with him, if she is accepting flowers etc., and if she is even considering going to the Bahamas with him, she certainly isn't over him. I think unfortunately she wants to keep you around in case this doesn't work out with her ex, but that is not fair to you. I think you should move on and forward.
Her ex is trying to compete with you. You know how they say every relationship will be tested at some point, well right now it looks like you better get your #2 pencil out because the drama is just getting started. Put it like this, if she accepts that trip to the Bahamas, there is a 98% chance you are going to get your heart broken. She's either going to cheat on you or catch more feelings for him (I think she already has feelings for him) or your going to get dumped for her ex. If she denies, he is going to keep trying to do some smooth things to win her over (it will create problems in your relationship) Either way, the only rational outcome to this is to seriously talk to her and put it down like this "look either your going to stop talking to him, or your going to stop talking to me, you can't have your cake and eat it too and i'm not for these damn games. If you want to be with me then you need to let your ex now strait up, YOU AND HIM ARE OVER, HE BLEW IT, and tell her to tell him if he keeps this sh*t up she is going to block his damn number". I been in these situations, it is going to get BEYOND ugly if u keep allowing this foolery to happen.
So I've posted about this girl previously, but now I'm pretty stuck. I've been dating this girl since January. It's been casual. I know she likes me but she got out of a relationship because her ex cheated. I think she has feelings for her ex. She responds to texts from the ex and doesn't hide anything from me about the messages.. however a few days ago her ex sent a singing telegram and flowers to her job, a long with a trip to the Bahamas! I told her I was tired of hearing the drama between her and her ex because she wasnt making the situation better by keeping in contact. So now I don't know what to do. Because she's a very sweet girl, honest, caring, I want to keep her around and give her space. Something tells me I should leave. She says she doesn't want to be serious until the ex drama is resolved, but I think she wants the ex in her life. What to do?
A man who is wise would run as fast as he can away from this type of woman because in the end there is nothing but heartache and no one else will ever "measure up" to the ex she is so hooked on.
She says she doesn't want to be serious until the ex drama is resolved,
What should be telling you to leave is every single fibre in your body, your gut instinct, your common sense, your sixth sense, or generally any other sense which tells you you are putting yourself in an unhealthy situation and need to extract yourself from it forthwith !
well it's over now...which is a sigh of relief since I no longer have to be stressed about it. But I'm just sad. I feel like I'll never get to be in a relationship. I always fall for the wrong ones.
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