6 months shy of 30 in LA (long-term, men, younger, family) - Relationships -Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - Page 4 - City-Data Forum

Bronxguyanese · 07-13-2012, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alicant310

so ive been thinking lately

Im reaching my 30s at what seems to be a rapid pace.

I starting to realize my mast plan pertaining to delaying marriage, kids has back fired miserably

Sure everybody tells me youre fine youll probably meet her around 35 and what not but then i realize what that actually meant!!!!

(1) it will be impossible to find a girl whos never been married/engaged/and never had kids around that age.

(2) If i wanted to someone at that status quo as i am (never married/nor had kids) , id have to start dating girls in their 20s.

Either way id have to settle for less than i feel i deserve.

I dont wonna deal with someones divorce crap or kids. nor do i wonna be a 25 year olds life coach. NOT A CHANCE! I want someone walking next to me. not someone at a different point of their life.

Im young, make good money, followed everything by the freaken book, but even the gardner has built something substantial before i have. wtf??

What seemed right then completely back fired!! shouldve knocked one of them broads up in college when they moaned for it. Yes id probably be paying child support for id have something to show for it.

just got 4 baby shower invitations in the mail! lmao.. another opportunity to highlight this failure.

so what do you guys think??

I agree with you, Im ten months shy of turining 30 myself. Right now I'm trying to find a better paying job which is more suitable for me in order to establish myself. Where I'm from the single twenty something women all wanna have fun and screw around, while some are looking for Mr. Hedgefund to pay off her college debt, while others are looking for thugs, while others are looking for a suitable man so he can take care of her and her kids of two previous baby fathers. No joke. I too did everything by the book from no college debt, saving, investing in mutual funds, building up my credit score,avoiding jail, going to the gym and also enjoying the single life while trying to avoid a serious relationships with unpromising consequences like an unplanned baby which will lead to child support down the road and a very common problem where I live for most people. If I was in a serious relationship, I would have had a kid now, probably paying child support, finiancially screwed, not investing no money and a decling credit score. I had to make the right choices it was essential. I do agree what seems right does backfires sometime, for some of us. Dont worry, really succesful guys in their 30s will probably bang young 21 year olds or if not milfs who throw themselvs at you will probably take it up all three holes just to lock you in a relationship.

Ascension2012 · 07-13-2012, 08:13 AM

Oh youre just overreacting and being too hard on yourself, good dude. Most of those who set their careers on the right track before hand, start building families in their thirties in todays world, age is nothing but a number. Turn your situation into something positive and think of it in positive ways. Think of it as a lesson learned, that life cannot be always pre-programmed and pre-planned to a T. Sometimes things just happen for no apparant reason, and its up to you to take a chance and go for it. Im 36 and recently single, and am enjoying my life just fine. I date and flirt with women all of the time, and if I happen to fall for one I want to build something real with, its all up for grabs. Age is nothing but a number, and you have full control of how you choose think of it.

howdydoody342 · 07-13-2012, 08:21 AM

sounds like everyone is making themselves crazy based on social norms that we have to be this way or that way. How can you put a time table on love? So does that mean u'd rather marry someone you detest because you meet them in ur 2 year window? If it leads to divorce arent you back where u started?

FromTN2A2 · 07-13-2012, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by howdydoody342

sounds like everyone is making themselves crazy based on social norms that we have to be this way or that way. How can you put a time table on love? So does that mean u'd rather marry someone you detest because you meet them in ur 2 year window? If it leads to divorce arent you back where u started?

^^^this. Back where you started but worse off.

strawberrykiki · 07-13-2012, 09:10 AM

That's nothing. Especially for a guy. Maybe don't refer to women as broads...

FromTN2A2 · 07-13-2012, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strawberrykiki

That's nothing. Especially for a guy. Maybe don't refer to women as broads...

Lol! ^^^^^This. I was wondering if I was the only one to catch on to your latter statement. I mean really? Broads? Where exactly do you place women in society to generally call us "broads"?

Coolhand68 · 07-13-2012, 12:46 PM

First, I would recommend you give up on milestones and worrying about what you should have or what you should be doing by a given age. It's good to have goals, but set realistic goals that you have more control over (education, retirement plans, career etc.). No one HAS to be married with children by 30, and you're not a failure if you aren't.

Second, your life will never be perfect. Let me repeat that...your life will never be perfect! There will always be something you're up against, some challenge, some unresolved issue. Learn how to take those in stride. Focus on today, not yesterday and not tomorrow.

Third, there was obviously a reason why those relationships of the past didn't work, no sense in dwelling on it. You are in a good place right now, 30, gainfully employed, single, no kids, and I assume in good health. Millions of people would love to trade places with you right now.

Keep dating, perhaps dating someone who is outside your usual dating profile. Expand your demographic, maybe take up some hobbies that would allow you to meet new people. When a hunter wants to trap small game, he sets up several traps to increase his odds of a catch, not just one trap. So if the only place you look for women is online or in bars and clubs, break the cycle and start looking in other places. The more places you are, the more chances you have of meeting someone new.

John13 · 07-13-2012, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strawberrykiki

That's nothing. Especially for a guy. Maybe don't refer to women as broads...

I agree. I thought that was very disrespectful.

John13 · 07-13-2012, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mitopcat

I think I screwed myself. I said to myself, " If I'm not dating or married by 30 to 35 than I'm not going to."

I'm 31 now and no prospects on the horizon. I work with a bunch of guys and the girls there are either older and married or 21. What a great age gap!

However, I do blame myself though. I stay at home during the week and just play games all night long. Weekends are the worst for that. I'm going to push a little harder this next weekend, though. If I don't start getting involved more, I may never do so. Then again, I don't even know where to start

I waited until I was 46 to get married and it was the biggest mistake I made in my entire life. Critical years and a lot of money wasted that I wish I could get back.

I should have stayed single. Thank goodness - no kids.

There is nothing wrong with being single but you have to learn to be your own best friend. No one has to do this. I'd rather be lonely than sorry, again.

howdydoody342 · 07-13-2012, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John13

I waited until I was 46 to get married and it was the biggest mistake I made in my entire life. Critical years and a lot of money wasted that I wish I could get back.

I should have stayed single. Thank goodness - no kids.

There is nothing wrong with being single but you have to learn to be your own best friend. No one has to do this. I'd rather be lonely than sorry, again.

can u explain?