6 months shy of 30 in LA (girlfriend, marriage, guys, husband)

[NWGirl74]

When I met my late husband, he was 33, never married, no kids. I was just shy of 26, never married-never even had a long-term relationship at that point, and no kids. He broke all my "rules" I had about dating, and I'm glad he did. We had 8 great years together before he died.

What I learned from this is not to have any expectations on what "perfection" is because what you think you are after and what is right for you may be two different things. And don't put so much pressure on yourself to make it happen. Just go out and have fun doing the activities you enjoy. That's really when you will be found the most attractive-and will meet someone who you know has at least one thing in common with you.

[John13]

Originally Posted by howdydoody342

can u explain?

What exactly?

I'm part of the 50% rate of divorce.

Things were good at first but went downhill very fast. We were married 6+ years.

[Bronxguyanese]

Originally Posted by howdydoody342

sounds like everyone is making themselves crazy based on social norms that we have to be this way or that way. How can you put a time table on love? So does that mean u'd rather marry someone you detest because you meet them in ur 2 year window? If it leads to divorce arent you back where u started?

True

[srjth]

I actually find it a little strange that people make so many rules.

[howdydoody342]

Originally Posted by John13

What exactly?

I'm part of the 50% rate of divorce.

Things were good at first but went downhill very fast. We were married 6+ years.

why did things go downhill?

[redvelvet709]

Originally Posted by Alicant310

so ive been thinking lately

Im reaching my 30s at what seems to be a rapid pace.

I starting to realize my mast plan pertaining to delaying marriage, kids has back fired miserably



Sure everybody tells me youre fine youll probably meet her around 35 and what not but then i realize what that actually meant!!!!

(1) it will be impossible to find a girl whos never been married/engaged/and never had kids around that age.

(2) If i wanted to someone at that status quo as i am (never married/nor had kids) , id have to start dating girls in their 20s.

Either way id have to settle for less than i feel i deserve.

I dont wonna deal with someones divorce crap or kids. nor do i wonna be a 25 year olds life coach. NOT A CHANCE! I want someone walking next to me. not someone at a different point of their life.

Im young, make good money, followed everything by the freaken book, but even the gardner has built something substantial before i have. wtf??

What seemed right then completely back fired!! shouldve knocked one of them broads up in college when they moaned for it. Yes id probably be paying child support for id have something to show for it.

just got 4 baby shower invitations in the mail! lmao.. another opportunity to highlight this failure.


so what do you guys think??

I think you bought the lie that waiting was actually a better choice. But I also think this can be a good warning to other men out there who are doing the same, playing around and avoiding committment until they realize they are getting old and want someone to be there with them when they get sick or have difficulties. Arrested Development sucks, huh.

[redvelvet709]

Originally Posted by Alicant310

i guess i wanted everything to be perfect. financially, mentally emotionally. but now i realize thats a never ending process

Well this is better than avoiding it for lack of commitment reasons. But yes, there will never be a place where you can say "Now everything is perfectly in place. Go!"

[SOON2BNSURPRISE]

My brother is 45 never married, never had kids, built a successfull business pulling in 300K + a year. Then again he doesn't seem to be looking. Maybe that is a good thing for the OP, leaves one person out of the race for marriage.

I hear from women and men all the time that are in a similar boat. I know 10 or 12 women that have spent their time building medical carreers in Nursing and have never been married or had kids. Plenty out there and many of them are getting to the point that they want to proceed with a family. The great thing is that when you find someone like that channces are they may have their own finances in order, have a home, and a retirement account. They have the cash flow along with yours to provide nicely for a couple kids.

Happy searching. remember that is a lot of fun in itself.

[Ascension2012]

Originally Posted by mitopcat

I think I screwed myself. I said to myself, "If I'm not dating or married by 30 to 35 than I'm not going to."

I'm 31 now and no prospects on the horizon. I work with a bunch of guys and the girls there are either older and married or 21. What a great age gap!

However, I do blame myself though. I stay at home during the week and just play games all night long. Weekends are the worst for that. I'm going to push a little harder this next weekend, though. If I don't start getting involved more, I may never do so. Then again, I don't even know where to start

Whats the big deal? It may seem like all thats out there is way older, way younger or married, but it couldnt be any further from the truth. However, not too many girls you would be interested in, will come knock on your door, while youre playing battlefield 3 and ask you out. I tried, it didnt work for me either. Im a recovering gamer myself, coming up in the arcade era and all, but some months ago I realized how much time i waste on tv and video games, and put both away for now. Id rather call a friend, go for a walk, read a book, go see a show or grab a bite to eat at one of the patio restaurants. Turns out there is an incredible amount of available women that fit exactly what im looking for.

[John13]

Originally Posted by howdydoody342

why did things go downhill?

I'd rather not say exactly due to the off topic nature. My post will likely be deleted (again).
I'll send you a rep comment if I can.