6 months shy of 30 in LA (male, kids, friends, different)

[redvelvet709]

Originally Posted by Alicant310

Not so much in a hurry to do it.. but really wish i met a girl my age who would make that transition with me. Then id be more fond of doing things later down the line. But all these broads go "2 years or youre out"

That's a prefectly appropriate amount of time!

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by srjth

I actually find it a little strange that people make so many rules.

Me too. What is this with issuing ultimatums, even at the beginning, saying 2 years, or bust?

[Rhenzanite]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

Me too. What is this with issuing ultimatums, even at the beginning, saying 2 years, or bust?

Because some women want to get married and start a family. They don't want to waste their time following a guy around that can't seem to commit because when they finally realize he's never going to, then she has to start all over.

I'm not looking for a husband or family, but even I could see a woman being a little irritated after two years if she wants to start a family. Women have a reproductive expiration date, men don't.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by JetJockey

Because some women want to get married and start a family. They don't want to waste their time following a guy around that can't seem to commit because when they finally realize he's never going to, then she has to start all over.

I'm not looking for a husband or family, but even I could see a woman being a little irritated after two years if she wants to start a family. Women have a reproductive expiration date, men don't.

That would depend on when the meter starts ticking, marking off the two years. Does it start at the first date? What exactly are we talking about? What's a guy supposed to do, date for a year, then suddenly propose and set a one-year engagement? That's not realistic at all.

[Rhenzanite]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

That would depend on when the meter starts ticking, marking off the two years. Does it start at the first date? What exactly are we talking about? What's a guy supposed to do, date for a year, then suddenly propose and set a one-year engagement? That's not realistic at all.

I have no idea, but I do know that I spent nearly 5 years with a guy during my 'peak' years of my early twenties. He refused to commit and I took the stance of the 'laid back' girlfriend and said 'no worries, whenever you're ready'. Now I realize that I should have broken it off because I wasted those years with a guy who was never going to commit to me fully. Granted, he was a douchebag, but I can kind of see other women's perspective on the issue.

I think, that if there isn't a plan in place at around 2 years (not necessarily an engagement or anything, but that both parties are in agreement that it is definitely headed in that direction) that it's probably best to move on if marriage/family is something you want.

[MIKEETC]

Originally Posted by Alicant310

...

But all these broads go "2 years or youre out"

[i knew there was something]

[Vinsanity]

Originally Posted by redvelvet709

I think you bought the lie that waiting was actually a better choice. But I also think this can be a good warning to other men out there who are doing the same, playing around and avoiding committment until they realize they are getting old and want someone to be there with them when they get sick or have difficulties. Arrested Development sucks, huh.

And divorce sucks less?

[observer]

Originally Posted by iknowftbll

Well, everyone moves at a different pace, but 2 years is a long time to get to know someone. From the day I my wife and I got together to the day we were married was 4 1/2 months. To be fair, I did meet her a while before, but we did not have much contact with each other. Eh, long story, and I won't bore the crowd with it. You get the idea. I don't think it's unreasonable for a girl to expect to know where things are heading after two years.

I am glad it worked out for you. Generally though, I think 5 months from meeting someone to marriage is way too fast. Most people do not know each other that well to marry. It usually takes longer than that to see ones true color.

[asitshouldbe]

Originally Posted by Alicant310

so ive been thinking lately

Im reaching my 30s at what seems to be a rapid pace.

I starting to realize my mast plan pertaining to delaying marriage, kids has back fired miserably



Sure everybody tells me youre fine youll probably meet her around 35 and what not but then i realize what that actually meant!!!!

(1) it will be impossible to find a girl whos never been married/engaged/and never had kids around that age.

(2) If i wanted to someone at that status quo as i am (never married/nor had kids) , id have to start dating girls in their 20s.

Either way id have to settle for less than i feel i deserve.

I dont wonna deal with someones divorce crap or kids. nor do i wonna be a 25 year olds life coach. NOT A CHANCE! I want someone walking next to me. not someone at a different point of their life.

Im young, make good money, followed everything by the freaken book, but even the gardner has built something substantial before i have. wtf??

What seemed right then completely back fired!! shouldve knocked one of them broads up in college when they moaned for it. Yes id probably be paying child support for id have something to show for it.

just got 4 baby shower invitations in the mail! lmao.. another opportunity to highlight this failure.


so what do you guys think??

You sound like my son who has been wasting his time doing nothing, thinking it's great to be single.
I've told him he will have mostly single moms to date if he keeps waiting around to find someone, I have no problem with single moms but he doesn't want a pre made family.
Maybe if he put as much effort into finding a wife as does in video games and hanging out, he would find someone.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by asitshouldbe

You sound like my son who has been wasting his time doing nothing, thinking it's great to be single.
I've told him he will have mostly single moms to date if he keeps waiting around to find someone, I have no problem with single moms but he doesn't want a pre made family.
Maybe if he put as much effort into finding a wife as does in video games and hanging out, he would find someone.

Sounds like an extended adolescence. Funny how some people are like that, while others are already into lucrative careers by mid-20's.