6 months shy of 30 in LA

[John13]

Originally Posted by reddoor54

Don't worry too much OP, I think the right person will come along in due time. I genuinely believe there's someone out there for everyone!

Although, I'll admit sometimes (when I'm in a pessimistic mood) I have doubts about my being 23 and single (I'm female). I just have a lot of friends who are either in serious relationships or already engaged/married, so I feel like I'm missing the boat sometimes - even though I really need this time to figure out MY life, career, etc - don't need any other distractions right now.

But interesting to know guys might feel the same pressure before 30...

In a perfect world, yes.

In reality your statement is a myth. I have read the same thing here countless times but it is not true.

Good for you for taking the stance you are taking and kudos for your positive attitude.
Best wishes to you.

[Ascension2012]

Originally Posted by John13

In a perfect world, yes.

In reality your statement is a myth. I have read the same thing here countless times but it is not true.

Good for you for taking the stance you are taking and kudos for your positive attitude.
Best wishes to you.

Oh boy. Are you really telling a 23 year old girl that somoene right coming along is a myth? I feel that all these posts are coming because of social pressures that are put on all of us. If you feel you need to work on your career or figure out what you want to do in life, then thats what you should be doing. Many people marry in their thirties in todays world, because by then they have had time to set their careers and date enough to know exactly the type of person they want as their partner for life. Young marriages fall apart at much higher rates, because young married couples are still entering into their adulthood and are trying to figure out all these things about themselves. provided, these type of people are much more accepting, simply because they havent figured out what it is theyre exactly looking for, but it doesnt bode well for couples future, in most cases. For guys this should be a complete non-issue, since men are likely even more desired in their thirties, as they have no biological clock and tend to earn status with age. SO, Im sorry any of you feel like youve missed the boat, but please know that its only your mindset (and the fact that youve been fed BS most of your lives) that making you feel this way not the actual reality of todays world we all live in. Change that, and soon you will find that what you want is right outside of your front door.

[ElysianEagle]

Originally Posted by reddoor54

Don't worry too much OP, I think the right person will come along in due time.

I have to agree with John, this is a mentality very often exhibited by women (not so much by men, however) mainly because women aren't the ones putting in the effort chasing guys down. By and large, women choose from among the men that choose them.

Things are different for guys. Because we're expected to chase, we simply don't have the luxury of sitting back and waiting for things to happen "in due time". Unless he's exceptionally attractive/famous/powerful, most women simply will not come up to a guy and ask him out. The few guys I know that've taken this approach get maybe 1 or 2 dates a year, and it's exceptionally rare for them to get laid.

In other words, the "wait and see" approach is a perfectly valid one - for women. Because the average woman gets propositioned so much (at least in comparison to the average guy), it's only a matter of time before a guy she likes happens to approach her. For men, however, taking this stance can be a complete disaster.

[Ascension2012]

Originally Posted by ElysianEagle

I have to agree with John, this is a mentality very often exhibited by women (not so much by men, however) mainly because women aren't the ones putting in the effort chasing guys down. By and large, women choose from among the men that choose them.

Things are different for guys. Because we're expected to chase, we simply don't have the luxury of sitting back and waiting for things to happen "in due time". Unless he's exceptionally attractive/famous/powerful, most women simply will not come up to a guy and ask him out. The few guys I know that've taken this approach get maybe 1 or 2 dates a year, and it's exceptionally rare for them to get laid.

In other words, the "wait and see" approach is a perfectly valid one - for women. Because the average woman gets propositioned so much (at least in comparison to the average guy), it's only a matter of time before a guy she likes happens to approach her. For men, however, taking this stance can be a complete disaster.

You have a valid point and i agree for the most part, but these dynamics are changing as well in recent years. Ive noticed that mostly in urban areas, women are not shy to approach at all. It may be different in the country, where more traditional male/female dynamics tend to linger for a little longer, but am not sure as i live in the city. To think of it, unless you are a super attractive woman and get approached a ton, it would really suck to be limited only to the guys that sometimes approach you. Thats not a whole lot to choose from for an average looking woman. I think that im slightly above average looking dude, and i get approached quite a bit, even though i also enjoy approaching qand the whole chase deal. Women arent shy at all about going for what they want, as it was decades ago.