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Dr said it was HSV-2 (genital). He was confused why it was only on my thigh and no where else. Said he never saw it before. Also no pain, redness, etc. Fiancee and her OBGYN thinks it was a false positive or the lab messed it up since it was completed in one business day. I saw Dr. on Friday, results back on Monday morning.
No, never had a cold sore. Only been in one other intimate relationship. She got herself tested and it was negative (saw the results).
Have either you or your fiancee` had any other breakouts?
Starting a marriage with problems already in place isn't a good idea. I would break it off now, save yourself the miserable life it sounds your heading for. How can someone not bring up the HSV issue before sex is beyond me, more baffling is how someone would decide to stay with a person who was so dishonest. I know you feel tainted and all, but staying for that reason is a wimp move. /jmo
For the record, again, we did not have unprotected sex. I do not have any OBs in the genital area, never did. I had a supposed OB right after we first started our relationship, and that was on my left thigh. She's never had any OBs, and her most recent blood tests does not show HSV. Hence the reason why she wasn't sure. She brought it up right after we first had sex. I knew a bit about the disease, and figured I already caught it, so I decided to stay. It was my choice to stay, not hers.
It is hard to leave someone when you love them. I am going to sit down and try to work it out. Again, I am not 100% opposed to have kids, however, it just wasn't immediately on my timeline. The thought of being alone in life doesn't seem that good either. Most women I talked to about it, stated they would be friends with the man, but not be interested in an intimate relationship. Coupled that with my medical problems, it doesn't look too good for me finding another woman. Everything has to be weighed in perspective. This baby thing came out of no where and I have tried to be fair in terms of compromise. She wanted two, I wanted none. I met in the middle, and agreed to one. Now, she doesn't remember this and believe her life will be unfulfilled unless she has two kids. Very stressful.
Moonwatcher, easier said that done. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, before judging them.
For the record, again, we did not have unprotected sex. I do not have any OBs in the genital area, never did. I had a supposed OB right after we first started our relationship, and that was on my left thigh. She's never had any OBs, and her most recent blood tests does not show HSV. Hence the reason why she wasn't sure. She brought it up right after we first had sex. I knew a bit about the disease, and figured I already caught it, so I decided to stay. It was my choice to stay, not hers.
It is hard to leave someone when you love them. I am going to sit down and try to work it out. Again, I am not 100% opposed to have kids, however, it just wasn't immediately on my timeline. The thought of being alone in life doesn't seem that good either. Most women I talked to about it, stated they would be friends with the man, but not be interested in an intimate relationship. Coupled that with my medical problems, it doesn't look too good for me finding another woman. Everything has to be weighed in perspective. This baby thing came out of no where and I have tried to be fair in terms of compromise. She wanted two, I wanted none. I met in the middle, and agreed to one. Now, she doesn't remember this and believe her life will be unfulfilled unless she has two kids. Very stressful.
Moonwatcher, easier said that done. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, before judging them.
Ok, now I'm completely lost. If you didn't have unprotected sex, how was it transmitted? This sounds like NEITHER of you have it and both your doctors sound like idiots. If you both have it, you'd both have OB's. Do yourselves a favor and go to another doctor and get tested. On average, people with herpes experience about four outbreaks a year. The first outbreak usually is the most painful and takes the longest to heal. The pain and recovery time often decrease with each outbreak. Stress is one of several factors that trigger the outbreaks.
What medical problems? I thought it was only the HSV2? Also, can you explain why 2 children are an issue but 1 isn't? Are you worried that financially you may not be able to handle 2 kids?
For the record, again, we did not have unprotected sex. I do not have any OBs in the genital area, never did. I had a supposed OB right after we first started our relationship, and that was on my left thigh. She's never had any OBs, and her most recent blood tests does not show HSV. Hence the reason why she wasn't sure. She brought it up right after we first had sex. I knew a bit about the disease, and figured I already caught it, so I decided to stay. It was my choice to stay, not hers.
It is hard to leave someone when you love them. I am going to sit down and try to work it out. Again, I am not 100% opposed to have kids, however, it just wasn't immediately on my timeline. The thought of being alone in life doesn't seem that good either. Most women I talked to about it, stated they would be friends with the man, but not be interested in an intimate relationship. Coupled that with my medical problems, it doesn't look too good for me finding another woman. Everything has to be weighed in perspective. This baby thing came out of no where and I have tried to be fair in terms of compromise. She wanted two, I wanted none. I met in the middle, and agreed to one. Now, she doesn't remember this and believe her life will be unfulfilled unless she has two kids. Very stressful.
Moonwatcher, easier said that done. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, before judging them.
Sounds to me like youre backtracking and getting defensive. You put this up on a public forum, so people are giving you their opinions, dont take it so personal. Someone who is honest, would disclose possibly having an STD BEFORE sexual contact, but you can defend it any way you want - its a BS move and would be a deal breaker for me. Compromise is necessary in any healthy relationship, but I dont think having children, when youre not ready to be a father should be a compromise situation. Its a pretty big responsibility that will change your life forever. Also, just my opinion, but staying in place because you feel like you would have a hard time finding someone else, is really a sad attitude - even if you really feel this way. Fix that, because if you dont - she will walk anyway.
OP, I get the feeling you are staying with this woman because you now have herpes and feel nobody else will want you. So now you feel you have to stick it out with this woman and agree to what she wants. Am I warm? That you are with her for fear of never having another person want you and not because you truly are in love with her? I suggest you join a support group, there are many out there and you can sort out your feelings and realize you are not stuck and alone here. Do not make anymore major decisions with this woman until you have done so. I wish you the best of luck in your discoveries, I know it can't be easy
Ok, now I'm completely lost. If you didn't have unprotected sex, how was it transmitted? This sounds like NEITHER of you have it and both your doctors sound like idiots. If you both have it, you'd both have OB's. Do yourselves a favor and go to another doctor and get tested. On average, people with herpes experience about four outbreaks a year. The first outbreak usually is the most painful and takes the longest to heal. The pain and recovery time often decrease with each outbreak. Stress is one of several factors that trigger the outbreaks.
What medical problems? I thought it was only the HSV2? Also, can you explain why 2 children are an issue but 1 isn't? Are you worried that financially you may not be able to handle 2 kids?
HSV is transferred via skin to skin contact, not through bodily fluids. So if a part of someone's skin touches another part, then they can transmit it. Interestingly enough, her former boyfriend of four years never got HSV either. Yes, online one OB on my upper thigh. No pain nor redness, never got it again. Since I am on steroids and other medicine's which weaken an immune system, plus over the last year I had two bouts of bronchitis, flu and pneumonia, one would think another OB would show up. None has. I am on steroids and other medicines because a few years ago, I was on a bus, and the bus flipped over causing major injuries to my spine. Went through several surgeries and on a lot of meds to manage the pain. Hence why I work at home. This is why she thinks I can work anywhere, so we can move in a few years. I am not saying no, I just do not know if I want to at this time. Nevertheless, I am getting a herpselect blood test. Every doc I know said it was awfully fast that they got the results back in less than one day for a culture. Plus, me not showing any signs, aside from a water blister, makes them think something is wrong. Since I've never had another OB, I cannot get another culture. Initially, I had to bend the doc's arm just to take the swab. Plus, mine had a dot in the middle of the water blister, which makes my primary doc think it was molluscum contagiosum, not HSV. In addition, fiancee just had blood work done, and no HSV was present (annual physical). I have the report.
Yes, I am concerned about the financial aspect of kids. This would be why I didn't want them in the first place. It is not like I can get a job any day for someone else, I am limited to what I can do. I am doing okay, just I do not know, should something happen, what I will be able to do in terms of income. She said, she will work additional hours or work off hours in order to help and enable us to afford the children. Since only my body is damaged and not my brain, I am worried about the financial costs, that is it. It is not that I do not want them, I just am very concerned about money. She doesn't get that part.
OP, I get the feeling you are staying with this woman because you now have herpes and feel nobody else will want you. So now you feel you have to stick it out with this woman and agree to what she wants. Am I warm? That you are with her for fear of never having another person want you and not because you truly are in love with her? I suggest you join a support group, there are many out there and you can sort out your feelings and realize you are not stuck and alone here. Do not make anymore major decisions with this woman until you have done so. I wish you the best of luck in your discoveries, I know it can't be easy
It is a small part of it, but never came into focus until she started to push so hard for children. It came out of no where. I thought in the next two years, yes, but not so fast. Just everything is coming so fast for me to swallow and comprehend. Believe it or not, I do love her. It is just very scary for me to come to terms with so fast.
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