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He doesn't want her to. He does it in secret, because he's hooked on masturbating to it. He watches it while she's at work, then tells her he's not interested in sex. Most porn isn't interesting to women anyway, it's made for men.
See, I actually think that there is some interesting porn, but I'm a perverted girl.
I think they just need to open and honest with each other and try to incorporate porn into their sex life somehow.
Nobody can honestly say " I accidentally used his computer and clicked on the browsing history today". BS, there was no accident sticking your nose into his business and checking out what he was reading and looking at. Do you realize he is not your slave? What I'm saying is he and you are both free souls, free people, and don't really have to answer to anyone. Maybe it is time you sit down and have an actual conversation with each other and make your feelings known. Marriage takes work, but there are those people out there who are not worth the work...
I swear that you must have married a clone of my ex-husband! I could have written most of this myself 25 years ago. You don't know how to argue with him? There is no way to win an argument with someone like this. If you try to be nice, they run right over you. If you're just as mean - well, you saw what happened already when you did that!
This man is a perpetual victim, again like my ex. These types of personalities can't take responsibility for anything. If they can't get a job, it's your fault for nagging. If they can't have sex like a normal person, it's your fault for not being sexy enough. A person like this will never change. All you need to do is ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life living this way. The answer is very simple.
I was married for six years. It was torture almost from the very beginning. He'd constantly interrupt me and when I complained, he said, "You never say anything I want to hear, anyway!" Really?! There is nowhere to go in a situation like that - except out the door.
He used to talk about other women right in front of me. "Oh, I'd sure like to do her." When I complained, he told me that I should dress up more! This was his reaction when we had two small children and not even two pennies to rub together.
They deliberately make you doubt yourself until your self-esteem is in shreds and you wonder about your sanity. After I had been divorced for a while (and everything had become much clearer!), he and I had an argument on the phone. I went for a walk afterwards, feeling just as sick and downtrodden as I did when I was with him, and I thought, "I used to feel like this all the time! No wonder I couldn't make any decisions! I couldn't even think."
I'll probably never get married again; being with him traumatized me that much. Please don't waste more time with this man. It won't get better. There is nothing left here to leave.
OMG was his name Bill???????????
Lol this all sounds like the same guy. To this day, I know it's stupid, but I CANNOT date a man called Bill.
Some people post their advice on here when they are in the throws of feeling smug about their relationships. This can be very condescending for those of us who once were smug too (me).
The main difference I see in people posting "run" and people posting "stay" is personal experience. Those who haven't been married to a man like this really don't know what they are talking about and probably shouldn't give advice at all.
Those of us, like you and I, who suffered through this sort of so-called "marriage" know how deeply painful and confusing it can be. Men are supposed to like sex, especially sex with their partners, and when they don't it is very, very hurtful and difficult to talk about.
If it was a wife withholding, we all know what the advice would be. That's almost a regular joke. Husbands who withhold intimacy (in preference for masturbation) have an entirely different dysfunction altogether, and one that is NOT understood by the wider community.
Mine literally wouldn't touch me from one year to the next, unless there was someone around. Then he'd be all over me, making a show. It made my skin crawl.
Sorry honey - I've got to call you out on this one!
If your knee was so badly hurt that you couldn't walk downstairs to leave to go to your appt with the therapist, how did you get UP the stairs last night when you got home?
That's just a very convenient excuse and you know it.
Just remember, not making a decision to do something IS a decision in and of itself.
You are confused - that's to be expected. But nothing is going to change or get any better until you reach out for some help. You are mired down in the craziness and I don't want to see it drown you
I had a similar thought. Very well put. Ruth4Truth has the right idea as well. There is only so much we strangers on CD can do for you OP. Truly wishing you the best but the ball is in your court. You've vented, you've asked, you've got suggestions and opinions to work with.
Sorry. Long thread and just trying to give some advice.
I tend to skip a lot of the bs too but I have since learnt to make sure I read all of OP's before I give advice.
These threads tend to start out with an innocent enough beginning, once the discussion deepens you find out that OP is generally posting about a much bigger problem altogether, than the one they started out with.
I tend to skip a lot of the bs too but I have since learnt to make sure I read all of OP's before I give advice.
These threads tend to start out with an innocent enough beginning, once the discussion deepens you find out that OP is generally posting about a much bigger problem altogether, than the one they started out with.
Boy do I agree with that!
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I could have written most of this myself 25 years ago. You don't know how to argue with him? There is no way to win an argument with someone like this. If you try to be nice, they run right over you. If you're just as mean - well, you saw what happened already when you did that! 
