Should I date someone who is super busy? (dating, woman, attracted)
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So, there's a guy I like, but it turns out that he's super busy with his career. I want more time with him (or whomever I'm with) and he knows that, but he has asked me to stick around and be patient. Should I?
So, there's a guy I like, but it turns out that he's super busy with his career. I want more time with him (or whomever I'm with) and he knows that, but he has asked me to stick around and be patient. Should I?
(I'm not even sure what I'd be patient for )
Are you really unsure about this?
"Stick around" as in "don't date other people?" Nah.
"Stick around" as in "don't date other people?" Nah.
Yes I'm unsure, because I am attracted to him. He makes me feel something. Which is rare.
I guess give him or "us" a chance?
I don't even know about dating other people. When I tried to talk about that with him he got all weird and defensive. So whatever.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
So, there's a guy I like, but it turns out that he's super busy with his career. I want more time with him (or whomever I'm with) and he knows that, but he has asked me to stick around and be patient. Should I?
(I'm not even sure what I'd be patient for )
I was busy the last year working OT at my job and grad school and that turned my relationship last year into a cluster. If a person says they are too busy to date, believe them.
To simplify this as much as possible. A Woman will encounter two Men:
One that she likes and cannot access.
One that she doesn't necessarily like outright and always has access to.
The best thing you can do for your sanity is build up a Man into what you want him to be. You can't just wait around for the perfect Man to notice you. You are going to be waiting forever.
I was busy the last year working OT at my job and grad school and that turned my relationship last year into a cluster. If a person says they are too busy to date, believe them.
I did believe him! After he made that clear, I figured it wouldn't work out and I lost my enthusiasm. Well I guess he's picked up on that and he's trying to be a little better, and doing a lot of explaining of himself and his busy schedule, etc, and asking if I would be patient and stick around.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tencent
To simplify this as much as possible. A Woman will encounter two Men:
One that she likes and cannot access.
One that she doesn't necessarily like outright and always has access to.
The best thing you can do for your sanity is build up a Man into what you want him to be. You can't just wait around for the perfect Man to notice you. You are going to be waiting forever.
Okay, so what are you suggesting I do? I'm confused.
I'm leery of the whole "I'm just so busy busy busy" thing right out of the gate.
I may be cynical, but to me it means, "I want to put an excuse in there right from the get-go for when I don't want to fall back on you."
I have dated men who literally were so busy that they were flying from one place to another as much as three times in a week but they still contacted me - while traveling, in the days before cell phones no less - to make sure I didn't forget about them, LOL. IME if a guy wants you he'll find a way.
But if he's putting "I'm so super busy" in place before you've even started anything...yeah. I just wouldn't hang my star on this; I'd keep going out with other people, and if he happens to contact you during a time you're not busy, and you feel like going out on a date with no expectations, then the date happens.
What does “super busy” mean? I think each person has different definitions. Are you able to see each other on a regular basis once or twice a week with occasional periods where it might be biweekly or is he so busy that he can’t even see you once a month?
A lot of people seem to want someone who can see them several times a week plus call and/or text daily, when that is not realistic. They may be saying they are “super busy” because that kind of lifestyle is just suffocating them.
Maybe some compromise is in order. Meaning, if he wants you to stick it out and wait for his work schedule to ease up, I think it reasonable and fair that he compromise on his end too. Ask him for a bit more time now or ask him if he can commit to spending more time with you, say, in a month or two.
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. If a person says they are too busy to date, believe them.
